Trauma Heals When You Shift THIS

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Most of us were taught that in order to heal, we had to focus on the past the people who hurt us. But once you've done that, then what? Moving forward demands a different kind of focus; are you brave enough to do it?

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I've got lots of info and links for you below. But first, PLEASE READ:

I am not a therapist or physician. My videos are for educational purposes only. Information provided on this channel is not intended to be a substitute for in-person professional medical advice. It is not intended to replace the services of a therapist, physician, or other qualified professional, nor does it constitute a therapist-client physician or quasi-physician relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call a local emergency telephone number or go to the nearest emergency room immediately.

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[cremebrulee]

Yes. The past tells you how it started. Once you understand that, you need to move on. Dwelling on it is damaging.

[praisehimvegas]

Amen girl! I always tell my friends in recovery, “just because the beginning of the book wasn’t good doesn’t mean the rest of the story has to be. The first chapter was meant to end, not to be reread and overtake the entirety of the book. You can change your story”

[debbiekaren]

It took me four years of no contact to finally come to the place where I was willing to make changes in myself, but I need those four years to let the chaos of their toxic input into my life and influence and control over my circumstances to finally get unlocked and fade away

If the toxic person is still in your life, there’s too much external chaos to deal with the internal shift

[dinosaursatemycat]

You've got to deal with the past, dream of the future with an open mind, and live in the moment. It seems a little simple. But each new day is a new chance for progress. Each trigger point can become a new lesson within yourself. It's hard and exhausting for sure sometimes. But so was being stuck in the trauma of the past. You can break free, and you owe it to yourself. Keep trying! Keep going! And don't forget to be kind to yourself on your journey! ❤

[gingersnapjudy]

Absolutely, recognizing the past but not living there.
We can't change the past..
What can I DO NOW?
How can I make MY future better?
I love your channel and insights. It has been so helpful to me.

[jennifereason]

A writer I follow, one who had a very violent and unpredictable father, often says that the pain from the past is real, bad things really happened. But, healing is real, too.

[SaintCecillia-sb]

Casting all your care upon him for he cares for you. He heals those wounds..He is awesome. ( Jesus).

[sarahjmount]

Very true. A lot of the time talking about the trauma just makes you start to relive it again. Who needs that. Besides in the very beginning of your recovery when you need to get out your story of what happened (preferably with a good trauma therapist), or as your memory kicks in and you remember things along the way you hadn’t before - talking about the trauma is just beating a dead horse. (When I say the trauma I mean all the horrible abuse, neglect, and abandonment you endured as a child and as an adult as a result of that childhood. ). You’re right on point, Anna. I also think it’s better and more pertinent to be focusing on the effects of the trauma on your life now and how to change that. ❤

[janepoppet]

It is, and I totally get where Anna's coming from. I think it's a bit different for people who stayed enmeshed in these family dynamics well into their later years. I'm late 50s and I only went no contact with my parent 4 years ago. It's still so raw. I'm still unpacking and processing it all. It wasn't just my parent, it was a couple of other types of relationships too, right up til recently. So, the biggest issue for me right now is getting their voices out of my head. I'm in the baby steps of healing. I've already come a long way, considering, but I look forwards to being at this stage.

[estrela]

"That's where healing is possible... in me right now." Awesome!

[tracycameron]

Yesss...what i find most frustrating is the feeling that i need to explain to others why my brain doesn't always work..i try saying im healing from cptsd because of "stuff" no more needs to be said. Done with the past. Trusting God for my future. Taking responsibility for one day at a time.

[caroleminke]

CPTSD needs to be understood just so it can be managed in the present as we learn real life skills & start to develop ways to change our behavior as well as overcome unconscious patterns of rumination

[goodenoughgirl]

It just sort of evolved for me. I vented and I vented and I vented and processed and processed and processed and then one day there was just a lot less left inside of me to where the need for so much “airing of grievances” faded out. Then it was all about working those muscles and learning skills. (Like boundaries etc). Of course I didn’t just slide right into “perfection” but imo you just have to get to that “I feel heard and understood” place (validation) before you can take the next steps. Plus it did take awhile to even comprehend it myself (narc parents). Kinda like you have to accept the dismal “diagnosis” before you can work on how to best treat it. So as it went. More bad news before it was good news. Then of course I learned the hard way who I could talk to about it and who I should zip my lips with and when to say what about it. But as it goes. I think I had to find at least one other soul who could “confirm” me as I wasn’t yet at any kind of place to be able to “confirm” myself yet.

[emmaleechase]

Over time, talk therapy and the repeated retelling of one’s trauma story, can actually be activating for people. And not in a good way. eg The Re-experiencing creates the adrenaline and cortisol flooding responses. It’s important, initially, to share one’s story - eventually, some find the somatic therapies to be helpful, as they progress in recovery. Eg Somatic Experiencing and Sensorimotor psychotherapy.

[andrewparry]

Exactly spot on. Reinforcing old nural pathways is wasting time....moving.on is the go. Thanks so much Anna.

[mysocalledmidlifecrisisvlo]

To me, this has been a major focus of the Adult Children of Alcoholics for decades!

Good video!

[Joshualuv]

This part is rarely addressed ..thank you

[pdelaprimm]

I needed to analyze, sort and understand the past — which included some understanding of the two prior generations who created this mess — before letting it all go.

Talking about “it”, “them”, “what happened” and more only leads me to high states of activation and potential dysregulation: I have spent enough time in those states of being.

No more.

[annetteariasjohnson]

💕I found an old list of the medications I was on recently I was taking ten medications!🤯NONE of them worked! it fueled the the fire of all the family members who continually mistreated me even more! instead of trying to to help they made fun of me and broke up my marriage (we got remarried) I stopped all communication and I've never been happier 💞🙏

[jasonfitzpatrick]

I love a beautiful narcissist, I hope she can heal. It saddens me to know she is just a puppet to the black-eyed monster within her. I long for the kind child inside to be reborn. I just revert to anger when conflict arises. I work in a toxic place, and it doesn't take much to push me to anger. I don't like it and don't know how to control it. It sucks.