Why do narcissists pretend to love mindfulness?

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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.

THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.
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"You can't be a mindful and present a-hole." Love it. Narcissists will do almost anything because it looks good. Why not mindfulness as well?

lt
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Yes, my husband used Christianity the same way you are describing narcs using mindfulness. The whole time he preached the word, he abused me.

ragdollpreppers
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From my own experience, I have found that lots of mindfulness "gurus" out there are extremely narcissistic. I went to a couple of "New Age" conferences and ran into some of the most smug, toxic narcissist-types I'd ever seen. Not everybody, of course, but lots.
I had a narc roommate who was the same way, claiming to be into "spiritual" matters--as long as he was the one benefitting.

SarahLikesHorses
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“....an empathic person is a mindful person.” Yes, Dr. Ramani!!

lolasmom
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Dr Ramani - you have every aspect and detail covered. I'm largely healed now but continue to find your channel a joy to watch. Thank you Brilliant Woman. Xx

crumpetclaire
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"I can't believe I have to be with you, like people who can't breath right." Classic. Thanks for the laugh through truth.

williamallen
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"But keep this in mind: mindfulness is not a substitute for empathy and self awareness. You can't be a mindful and present a****e." That line is not only spot-on, but made me laugh out loud! Kudos!!🤣

JonathanMulderMarston
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Ironically, as a retired mental health practitioner and manager, I once met a very cold and arrogant narcisist nurse who promoted themselves as a specialist in mindfulness. It's amazing how many vulnerable people, and colleagues, get conned by these individuals xx

debbieohara
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OMG, I lived this cycle, what I called "the pink elephant in the room " When I was married to my narcissistic husband/pastor 30 years ago. He would periodically get into "a three hour tour" into his mind, praying, singing so loud to have the whole world know, an hour of silence, and then, emerge from his room in a "epiphany " gaze that went something like this:
I have received a message from God that you my wife must hear.
God has called me to, . . . To go to, . . . . Everything is fine with me, . . . But I have a problem, it's you, you're not ready, you need to be more, and then I got a list of shortcomings and lack in me that keep him from doing God's will for his life. It got so predictable that I was able to say verbatim with him, the "fresh" revelation he got, made him mad, sometimes dangerously so, but this mindfulness was usually a precursor to something that I needed to try to escape from what would happen next. I thought there was no one who possibly could understand this bizarre, crazy making, destructive and verbal/spiritual abuse. Thank you, Doc. I am so grateful to know that I'm not alone.

lisaschultz
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I found this so hilarious, my narc was exactly like this - totally lacking in self-awareness, totally lacking in empathy, yet always pretending she was 'spiritual', 'an empath', and 'mindful' 😂😂😂

AlastairjCarruthers
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The best part of “being in the now” is that you can never bring up past events to them.

clod
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You literally described my life. My ex husband was a narcissistic and he used to meditate for 3 hours in the morning and could NOT be disturbed. I used to leave to work early in the morning and the kids were supposed to catch the bus. There were times that they missed the bus for some reason and they could not disturb him even in those emergencies. So i used to come home from work which is a 20 minute drive and actually fix whatever problems they have. Although he was right in the next room he could not be disturbed. He also used his mindfulness and meditation practice as a weapon. Like the rest of us were so useless because we were not meditating. Thank you for this episode it feels so good for another person to actually understand what l went through and that I’m not crazy. By the way your hair looks great! 😊

dapp
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I just love how with each and every video Dr. Ramani is becoming more comfortable and uninhibited and I truly enjoy the sass she delivers lately!

tinasubic
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This reminds me of my ex girlfriend who used to meditate every day at 5 AM. She knew I had to get up at 5:30 AM and literally blocked my way to the kitchen to get my coffee telling me not to interrupt her meditation in the living room. She set it up to fail every day and used it as an excuse to be mad at me. Another buzz word she used all the time was “authentic“. One time I really stumped her when I asked her.. “if we are really being authentic, doesn’t talking about it make us less so??” (Boy she was fake mad at me for days for accusing her of being “inauthentic“)

ridgebackmomma
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They love to use mindfulness and tell you you’re not living in the moment if you hold them accountable for anything they’ve done or said “in the past.” Even if “the past” was literally like….. earlier today. Lmfao.

nataliaalfonso
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“You can’t be a mindful and present a**hole!” That was a great line Dr. Ramani! You always have a great way of getting your points across. I laughed out loud at that one. My narcissist went down the mindfulness path and preached at us (his family) for being so negative and of course, he’s always right. Even when he is wrong. No way to win with this self righteous a-hole

meganfoster
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I recently came to understand the toxic narcissist behavior of my former best friend of almost 30 yrs. She must use the word “mindfulness” 25 times a day! I’ve always thought that heartfulness was much more important than mindfulness, but hey, that’s me. Thanks Dr. Ramani for the valuable information you share, I have learned so much here. 💖

ErinGreer
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Absolutely! The one I was unfortunate enough to meet convinced everyone that they were spiritual of all things… Looking back it’s laughable now.

I now see that it’s the empathetic people out there that are their bread and butter and are just used to make them feel better about themselves. Sad really that they are so pathologically inept.

Simulacra
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Literally my soon to be ex-husband. I describe him as the scariest of all: a failed grandiose narcissist that discovered mindfulness and meditation to disguise it.
Here is a brief example: When I brought up that I'd like to work together with him on getting closer and building more intimacy because I missed him, had been feeling a bit lonely and overworked, he immediately became defensive and raised his voice, telling me that I'm asking for to much and that I just use him as an excuse for my "unhappiness", following up with: there is only the "all" and I shouldn't expect him to treat me anything differently than he would a stranger even though we're married. He said that my expectations and these labels I keep bringing up (husband and wife) were too much for him because he has to distribute energy to the "all" and these labels shouldn't come with expectations.

Another one: when we sat down to talk to our couple's therapist for the first time, the first thing he mentioned about himself was that he had just been meditating and finished up a chapter from a Zen Buddhist book, and that he loves mindfulness and stoicism. Thennnn he proceeded to blame all the issues in our relationship on me, telling her stories about past incidents while omitting all incriminating details about his wrongdoings, and structuring the stories to make me sound like an unstable, crazy person that would just start arguments out of the blue to abuse him. I WAS SITTING RIGHT THERE! I literally couldn't believe that he was lying through his teeth with me right there. I was so shocked that I didn't even defend myself!! I just sat there with my mouth open in complete disbelief.
2 months after this ^^^, after being together for 12 years, I asked for a divorce. Now, he won't have to worry about having a wife with bare minimum expectations and can focus on the "all"!!
Pretty wild stuff.

huyentang
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This video (Mindfulness) has truly struck me, not that the Narcissist in my life use Mindfulness. Religion is their B.S. of choice. Quoting passages and Psalms. Thank you for your help.

franktarantino