Dealing With Depression On The Autism Spectrum | Patrons Choice

See 3 Recommended Resources Below:

The Happiness Trap: How to Stop Struggling and Start Living: A Guide to ACT - by Russ Harris

The Upward Spiral: Using Neuroscience to Reverse the Course of Depression, One Small Change at a Time - by Alex Korb

EQ 101 - Master Emotional Intelligence - by Paul Micallef (that's me!)

CHANNEL LINKS:
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// WELCOME TO ASPERGERS FROM THE INSIDE!!

My name is Paul and I discovered I have Aspergers at age 30.

Yes, I know, I don't look autistic. That's exactly why I started this blog, because if I didn't show you, you would never know.

As the name suggests, this channel is devoted to giving you insight into the world of Aspergers.
This blog started off being just my story, but I've learned SO MUCH about my own condition
from meeting others on the Autism Spectrum that now I make sure to feature their stories as well.

I've come a long way in my own personal journey.
Now I'm sharing what I've found so you don't have to learn it the hard way too.

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// WHAT TO EXPECT FROM THIS BLOG

I value your time which means there are NO YOUTUBE ADS on my videos.
You can expect me to get to the point with concise useful information.
I focus on what is most important and don't shy away from difficult topics.

The best way to learn about Autism is to see it in real life ( i.e. via the stories of many, many people on the spectrum).

In this channel I endeavour to show you what Autism and Aspergers look like in real people and to also give you some insight as to what's happening on the inside.
I upload a new video every weekend with some bonus content thrown in mid-week too.
There's always new stuff coming through so be sure to check back and see what you've missed. (Is this where I'm supposed to tell you to hit that subscribe button?)

Topics Include:
- What is Aspergers/Autism?
- Aspie Tips, coping strategies, and advice on common issues
- Learning Emotional Intelligence (this is my special interest!)
- Autism in real life: stories from special guests

Everything I do is and endeavour to go deeper and take you 'behind the scenes' to understand what may, at first glance, seem 'odd'.
oh, and I love busting stereotypes and turning preconceptions upsidedown :)

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// ABOUT ME

I discovered I have aspergers at the age of thrity.
It has been my life's mission to understand these funny creatures we call humans.
My special interest is a combination of emotional intelligence, psychology, neuroscience, thinking styles, behaviour, and motivation. (I.e. what makes people tick)
My background is in engineering and I see the world in systems to be analysed.
My passion is for taking the incredibly complex, deciphering the pattern, and explaining it very simply.
My philosophy is that blogging is an adventure best shared.

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// EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE TRAINING

I also run autism friendly online emotional intelligence training. So if you like my direct, systematic style, and would like to improve your own emotional intelligence skills, check it out here:

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// CONTACT

Blogging is an adventure best shared which means I'd love to hear from you!
Feel free to leave me a comment or send me and email at any time and I'll do my best to respond promptly.

Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy this channel!
I look forward to hearing from you!

Peace,

~Paul

[schonlingg.wunderbar]

Don't forget that depression doesn't necessarily feel like sadness. Fear or anger for example also are very common.

[gorgils]

Depression for me is like this: I feel heavy. Doing stuff feels like too much work. I can function near 100% perfectly, but I would rather not do anything unless I have to. Also, I get bored easily, and because I am not really doing anything, I feel bored all the time. It begins eating at me from inside-out after a while. I feel that the ability of autistic people to obsess with things is almost like a coping mechanism against feeling depressed, because obsessing over something interesting and spending time to read about it is pretty much the only way to actually go through the day without feeling it was too much and you don't wanna go through that again.

[WindspielArt]

Sometimes depression isn't feeling sad. Sometimes it's feeling nothing at all. No sadness, no anger, no happiness.... you are only existing.
But thank you for this video. I'm still waiting for my first appointment to get a asperger diagnose but struggle with recurring depression since I was 15 (I'm now 33) and sometimes reminders like your video are necessary. So thank you again! (and yes normally I love my time alone and have plenty of things I can do... But when I'm depressed everything is to much alone is to lonely but other people are to stressful too. I then like to have a pet around!)

[illgillbates]

Brought me to tears a little bit. After 15 years of struggling with mental health and going through extensive therapy for 2 years now, I've only recently been correctly diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome as the underlying cause of my issues. I had been very succesful at 'masking' my autism, sadfully to my own detriment. People that know me even say it's the last thing they suspected me to be diagnosed with. This new-found awareness made me stop blaming myself for my emotional struggles and shortcomings and my suicidal thoughts have been lifted. At 28 years old I can now finally start to begin maintaining a healthy mind and life. Going to therapy saved me and in all these years I never imagined me to arrive at this point.

[ILoveAstronomy]

Even as a "neurotypical" I found your video to be exceptionally helpful.

[alexinatree]

I think the most difficult thing for me with dealing with long term depression is I never initially learned what things "make me feel good". The book "the upwards spiral" was really helpful to me as a guide about what a non-depressed person does to keep depression at bay. The issue is I never naturally learned to form those habits/routines, depression is seemingly my baseline mental state, so its a constant effort to keep my head above the water because I'm constantly re-teaching myself those self-care skills which aren't intuitive to me. Like you explained, nothing really feels good when you're depressed, so its really hard and frustrating to put in so much conscious effort daily to do things that I know are good for me without feeling like they're good or helping (even if I know they are bcs of science). It's really painful to look back on my life at age 23 and see that all I've been doing is trying to keep my head above the water for all these years.

[dystoniaify]

For me, when I am severely depressed I feel nothing. I'm numb and unable to do anything. Clinical depression is even worse than sadness because sadness is at least an emotion.

[MartianTom]

I'm 60, and finally got diagnosed at 56 after a lifetime of the sorts of problems you can probably imagine: social anxiety, difficulties with making friends, ostracision, emotional disregulation, inability to sustain relationships... and then, in more latter years, depressions (including two serious suicide attempts, both pre-diagnosis). My diagnosis has proved to be double-edged. It helped me to understand my life at last. It helped me to realise that I'm not 'wrong' or 'faulty' or 'stupid'... but that I have a condition which affects my behaviour and emotions in certain ways, and makes me more sensitive than most other people to some environmental conditions, stimuli, etc. So - that was all positive. The negative side of it has come down on me more during the last year. It's due to the reflection that so much of my life has, in effect, been wasted in the wilderness of unknowing. In many senses, I feel, my progress - educationally, socially and professionally - has been blocked off or retarded. I found myself on many occasions - particularly when younger - being unable to do certain things, without really knowing why. It was like life was a huge ship steaming off ahead of me and I was paddling along in my canoe just behind it, trying hard to catch up - but never being able to. I found myself unable to reconcile my difficulties at school (I learned nothing, was bullied throughout, and left with no qualifications) with the fact that - as I later found - I had a genius-level IQ which got me into Mensa. I still struggle with learning anything - largely, I think, due to undiagnosed ADHD (I've had a referral and am awaiting a diagnostic appointment). In my 43-year working life, I've had 28 jobs. I've never been able to stick in one for very long - mainly due to issues like stress, bullying, periodic depressions, etc. I currently work as I have for all of my working life - in a minimum wage job, with little security. The upshot of what I'm trying to say is... I know very well what's at the root of my depressions - my overwhelming and constant sense of sadness, fatigue, loss and dejection. It's precisely that: my life feels like it's been wasted. I know I can't turn back the clock. I know that at least I have a good level of self-reliance and self-awareness. I know that I have abilities that I can work with. And I know I still have a lot to be grateful for in having a job, an income, somewhere to live and no debts. But life, to me, simply feels like going through the motions now. The only thing I really look forward to is retirement in 7 years, when I don't have to worry about work any more. That's it. Sorry - I know it sounds self-pitying, and I hate that. But there it is. No medication will take it away. No therapies will help (tried them all). It's acceptance of who I am, where I'm at... and what I've missed out on.

[esteon]

Some things I try to do to make me not feel worse then I already do:
Fill my waterbottle before going to sleep so I can still have something to drink even if I can't get myself out of bed.
Make my bed every morning because it makes me less overwelmed.
Always have a warm sweater and socks by my bedside so that it's less hard to get out of bed because it's cold.
Open my window at least a short while in de morning or when I get out of bed.
Always have food in the house that I know I'll eat even if I really don't feel like eating. (rice crackers with salt, my favourite potato chips and just plain white rice in my case)
If it's really bad I'll keep a snack near my bedside so I can al least eat something.
Try and tidy my space every evening for at least 5 minutes.
Keep my workplace as tidy as possible to prevent getting overwhelmed. (Even if that means shoving a bunch of stuff that I don't know where to put in a special place/box to get to later)
Trying to change into "real" clothes, but not forcing myself to do so.
Always have a stim toy nearby. (Otherwise I'll literally pull my own hair out of my head as a stim)
Getting my groceries delivered at home because stores are really overwelming for me. (I'm a student so it's an investment but totally worth it)
Always have handcream and lipbalm nearby. (Dry hands and lips are a sensory nightmare for me and really painfull)

I hope some of these things are useful for someone :)

[davidhill]

I'm fairly sure I've been depressed most of my life, with periods of being quite upbeat here and there. Now I'm at a stage where most of the things I used to enjoy have fallen away. Can't tell if it's just because I'm older, or if it's really a bad thing.
I think we are putting out energy into the world for a while, and at some point we withdraw and retreat. There's a sadness that comes with this, but I'm not going to fight it. Not making any great point here. Feels good to finally say this to whoever is out there.

[robertjohnburton]

The loneliness I can deal with; it's the rages that eats me. I've found walking all day is an extreme treatment, but it does help me move on.

[kellyknudson]

My 30 year old son has been going through this his whole life, he has been Misdiagnosed So many times, I wish I would of known about this, he has a son who is 7 who was diagnosed with Aspergers a few months ago . Your videos are so helpful. My son self medicated with deep depression and has always said he’s not normal but never made under a 4.0 in anything . Praying he can get through this

[andoryuu]

1:43 - This is literally the worst feeling. Knowing that by *both* society’s standards and your own that something that should be making you happy, doesn’t.

More than anything else, it’s the looks and the attitudes I get from this phenomenon. To be misunderstood as ungrateful ironically makes the struggle worse.

[CoolDudeClem]

I can't even remember what being happy feels like. Honest to God, I really don't quite know what that's supposed to feel like.

[moonyfruit]

I've been discovering over the past several months that I am autistic with ADHD. I've struggled with depression since I was a child. This experience has been one of two times in my life I've felt very much not alone. I know this video is a tad old, but it was suggested to me today.

Thank you.

[kevinheise]

I thought I was chronically depressed until I found out I had ASD. Now, when I get low on energy I understand why, and that really helps with managing my way through a hard day.

[yazajag]

One of the many things I love about this channel is how Paul actually takes the time to explain somewhat complex ideas, in a very easy to understand layman way, so the concepts actually stick. This is so helpful. I am very appreciative of this post. Thank you. 🥰

[fionascheibel]

Yep. My alone time now has me feeling really distressed and angry and unable to calm myself down. I keep just trying to distract myself with meaningless busyness just to stop myself thinking and feeling. So im not getting calm down time and im actually not being productive and getting the important things done.

[wordscomeafter]

You are a natural in the field! I’m a DBT therapist and everything you talk about here are real techniques to help when in a depressed state. I’m also someone who has lived with depression since a child and I love your description of the experience. As someone who knows a lot of people that are autistic, including my family, I really appreciate those tips on how to know if you are depressed when also autistic. Thank you for everything you do for the community!

[Yotrek]

6:00 I'm losing interest in my special interest. After I experienced extremely traumatic circumstances I am finding it difficult to continue with my thesis, and special interest on Debt, excess deposits, and bank call reports.

Things I'm doing: Bought a used prius so I could afford the mental health camping trips. So far doing Hot/cold water therapy at hot springs. Next week will swim in the cold water ocean everyday. Slowly working on my upward spiral.