THE MOTHER WOUND: BEHAVIORS

*****FOR MORE INFORMATION ONLINE COURSES AND FREE CHECKLIST:

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Please check out my courses (LINK ABOVE):

1. BORDERLINE AND NARCISSISTIC PARENTS: HEALING AND DEALING WITH YOUR TRAUMA

(*This course is designed specifically for you if you were raised by parents who had Narcissistic, Borderline or significantly Emotionally Immature parents.)

2. RE-MOTHERED: TRANSFORM YOUR WOUNDED INNER CHILD INTO AN INTERNALIZED, LOVING "MOTHER"

(***This course is designed to help you learn to heal your inner child AND your inner parent if you experienced a complicated childhood or challenging relational wounds).

3. IDENTIFYING CHILDHOOD EMOTIONAL ABUSE AND NEGLECT (FREE COURSE)

CHECKLIST IS INCLUDED IN ALL 3 COURSES!!**

xo

* Additionally, I am only able to work with California residents for weekly therapy once available. If you are interested, please also add in a few brief details in your email including your reasons for seeking treatment, current diagnoses, concerns, etc.

[christinelynd]

I connect with your statements about the parent keeping you always at a child stage, not honoring your growth and maturity, and having very little acknowledgement of who you are and what you've accomplished as an adult.

[BecomeConsciousNow]

Invalidation is definitely the right word for me. The sad thing is, if you had this type of childhood you spend the rest of your life trying to heal and understand it. The brain does its job of protecting you as a child but in adulthood these protective behaviours are no longer helpful they are more of a hindrance:(

[Etherealvioletco]

“No honoring of your evolution as a human being” wow this series is so great, thank you!!

[candma]

I really resonated with this video. Walking on eggshells, always scanning, they are different in public, feeling responsible for their happiness, never respecting my boundaries, no personal privacy and only mattering if I do what they want. Thank you, Dr. Sage. I am benefiting so much from your videos. ❤

[KARIS]

I’m 62 and wonder when, or if, this mother wounding ever ends. Decades of inner work and therapy, but I still ache deep inside.

[wendisingleton]

I feel like, although I know my mother loves me because she's my mom and would do anything for me, she doesn't LIKE who I am as a human. My entire life I've been told I'm too emotional, too loud, too sensitive, to opinionated, too much of ANYTHING that's different from HER. I've always been a "why" person, which she hates. My dad always says we don't get along because we're "too much alike" and I completely agree, but it's like, because I remind her of her OLD self, and not enough of who she "grew into" she just subconciously, HATES every trait that she recognizes in her younger self. It's crazy. But you can't tell her that... Lol

[smustipher]

Immature and narcissistic parents are THE WORST. If their toxicity doesn't do you in (my father's constant jabs, digs and criticisms drove me to attempt to end my life at 19 - I was so SICK of being insulted and called "stupid" and just couldn't bear it any longer. I was in the pysch ward for 2 days undergoing evaluation and he didn't even bother to inquire as to where I was) the likelihood that you spend the rest of your days limping through life, self medicating or investing a significant amount of resources on therapy and other modalities to heal/cope is very high. Anyone who was blessed to have healthy parents: You hit the jackpot.

[tedallenwolff]

Yes, my mom did not provide much emotional support. She let fly with her own big emotions of anger, fear, or joy while I had to keep my feelings tightly under wraps. That really does a number on a child. Also, I was not supervised all that well. As a young child I had a couple of bad accidents and was molested by an older neighborhood boy. I believe I suffered some real trauma from it.

[mariposamoreno]

i’m 40 and my narc mom treats me like i’m 11 and smothers me. ridiuclous

[janetscully]

It's called emotional abuse. Lacking coping skills. Blame game. Inability to recognize that the behaviour comes from their own childhood experiences. I spent a lifetime studying, reading and coming to terms with my Mother. It took me until she was 90 to get Mother to talk about herself and what happened to her. Denial was easier for her to cope with the way she treated me but eventually, I got her to open up. She still didn't acknowledge the critical, abusive behaviour and the shame she layered on me. I took care of my Mom for 22 years. She was a smart good person who gave a lot to others but forgot her only daughter should have come first, not the neighbours or the church bizarre. She must have done something good because I didn't abandon her in her old age. Even good people don't know what to do with female children. Look into what happened to your Mother growing up and you'll make a break through. Believe me, it's worth it. You'll grow in so many ways.

[montanacrone]

I hope this might be helpful. My mother was a cold fish. Several years of me in therapy my psychiatrist told me something that changed my life. He said “There’s a term in psychiatry we use to describe this. Your mother is a “dry tit.” It’s not that she’s withholding from you, she doesn’t have it to give.” OMG. I was in a daze. It made sense. I lived with my grandparents (her mom and dad) until I was 5. I think she used me to hurt them. She was an angry woman. We looked nothing alike ; she was tall, thin, dark. I was petite, blonde and fair skinned. So grateful I had my grandparents!

[brittdove]

Everytime i watch one of your videos i cry. My entire life i didn't understand what i did wrong. Turns out i didn't do anything wrong. I didn't have a chance.

[ananda]

Wow! My mother and I were estranged when she died a year ago. It literally felt like someone took all the rocks out of my pack back, and I felt such relief. Although I deeply loved my mother I never mourned her loss in what society would deem a traditional way. My therapist explained that it was because I'd been mourning the loss of her my entire life, so this was literally the end for me. Your series on the mother wound has really helped me to understand her as a person and as a parent with deep love and compassion for both of us. It's enabled me to understand so much about my conflicts and confusions and really helped me grow as a person even at the age of 50. I won't comment on platforms but feel compelled to reach out and say Thank You! I appreciate the work you do and know you're helping people as far away as South Africa.

[bethabbyjo]

One of the hardest pills to swallow for me is my mother taking credit for EVERYTHING about my life. Every time I have a win or have overcame something or anything the would build one’s sense of pride. She’d swoop in and gleefully declare that it amounted to what a “terrific” (pssshh) mother she was.

[michaelgarrow]

Moms cry at weddings not because they are losing a daughter; but, they are losing their place in the world.

[nancybartley]

The treatment we receive in our families is not in isolation from other influences. For example, illness, accidents, environmental occurrences like floods, pandemics, poor education, poverty. When you are abused by your parents and then these other things are also happening, life can be one trauma after the other.
Thank you, Dr. Sage. You are appropriately named!! Your kindness is greatly appreciated, too.

[Puffermom]

Has anyone ever experienced their parent telling them inappropriate things about the other parent, or telling me things to purposely hurt me or traumatize me.

Something happened to my childhood cat involving my mentally ill (now dead) brother, and my dad told me that she died peacefully, and my mom told me the real story which she heard from one of my brothers friends. I will spare you all. She should have never told me what happened. I keep having emotional flashbacks to that feeling/moment and it’s horrible.. I suffer so much, I will never do this to my daughter.

[kimberlygabaldon]

"Over the course of the childhood..." and right on through your entire adult life.

[Bee-gcdo]

I managed to tell my mom that i felt she loved me least out of her 3 kids because of my dad (we all have different dads) and she told me thats fair.

She tried to justify why she was with him and i fully understand the trauma she had and the trauma he gave her.

What hurts my soul is that she didn't deny i was the least loved when i have tried the hardest of all of my siblings to be there for her in every sense (be her personal maid, help her financially, act as her validating therapist) and it still doesnt matter. I sacrificed so much (my youth, my friends, my future) to try and get an iota of love/approval from her but it doesnt matter in the end because my father was the monster who abused her. Its something i have no control over but it defines our relationship. She constantly tells me its something i need to "get over" but its defined our relationship my entire life. How do i "get over" that?

[MrBrady]

This describes my family to the "T". The spiritual road says, "you choose your parents" before you incarnate. This belief is empowering, and has been the most helpful way to look at my family of origin trauma. Yet I still struggle with forgiveness as rage comes up repeatedly. When will it be enough? I understand the dynamic, I've read a ton about it, I've done ceremonies, meditations, talked to therapists, etc. The rage still comes. I've been on this path for years now and I'm beginning to question if this rage will be with me for the rest of my life. 😩