HEALING THE MOTHER WOUND | DR. KIM SAGE

*****FOR MORE INFORMATION ONLINE COURSES AND FREE CHECKLIST:

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Please check out my courses (LINK ABOVE):

1. BORDERLINE AND NARCISSISTIC PARENTS: HEALING AND DEALING WITH YOUR TRAUMA

(*This course is designed specifically for you if you were raised by parents who had Narcissistic, Borderline or significantly Emotionally Immature parents.)

2. RE-MOTHERED: TRANSFORM YOUR WOUNDED INNER CHILD INTO AN INTERNALIZED, LOVING "MOTHER"

(***This course is designed to help you learn to heal your inner child AND your inner parent if you experienced a complicated childhood or challenging relational wounds).

3. IDENTIFYING CHILDHOOD EMOTIONAL ABUSE AND NEGLECT (FREE COURSE)

CHECKLIST IS INCLUDED IN ALL 3 COURSES!!**

xo

* Additionally, I am only able to work with California residents for weekly therapy once available. If you are interested, please also add in a few brief details in your email including your reasons for seeking treatment, current diagnoses, concerns, etc.

[wandalester]

I spent 24 hours with this woman "Elinor" l was four years old. She was my first foster mother. She gave me the only hug with love and security as a child as she tucked me in bed that night. The next day she took me to what I thought was a store, it was a brick building. I saw no door or window. When we pulled in, she got out of the car and came around and opened my door. I got out, it was cold out, l remember snow on the ground. She came up to me and opened her coat and wrapped me in it. I am still in Elinors coat emotionally. I told a counselor that we never got back in her car and we didn't go into the brick building. I am 71 years old now, but l'm still inside Elinor's coat. My parents were broken adult children having children. When the court took us away for good, l was fourteen. I was third out of ten. I have C-PTSD, but l believe without that hug and her black coat wrapped around me, l would not have survived childhood much less adulthood.

[memyself]

There is a difference in being hurt by a parent as a kid but for it to continue and get worse as an adult is a whole other hurt

[An-uxfq]

I simply try to relax. No longer working all the time or pleasing others. Self care! A walk in nature, sitting in the sun with a cup of tea and a book…. I have so much tension in my body and it needs to be released.

[angelaachee]

I’ve been no contact since before the pandemic. It’s crushing to be around someone that loves/hates you. Mostly hate in my case. Incredibly, she was a NP that specialized in mental health. Talk about confusing! She gave me “advice” and “treatment”. I have prayed for death and wished for it (hers and mine). Recently found a new definition for forgiveness. 1. I will not harm you. 2. I will not wish harm on you 3. I will not let you harm me 💕✨🌟✨💕

[s.munyun]

struggling because still living at home with her. so hard to heal from someone you have around you 24/7 buzzing and snapping on you constantly. its just a lot.

[PerrySkyePhoenix]

For years I've made excuses for my abusive mother. I won't do it anymore. She takes "0" accountability for anything. She doesn't apologize, and I "deserved " all of the abuse that I got. After a lifetime of trying to have a relationship with my mother... I give up. I've gone no contact with her (again) this year. Hopefully it sticks.

[nancybartley]

Childhood was where our faulty foundation was build but we didn't know it as kids. We couldn't. Adulthood is when we begin to realize something was/is really wrong in us and our relationships with others, especially our families. A house can't stand against the stresses of the environment (life) for very long without a solid foundation.
Very few therapists understand this and know how to guide, support, educate a client through this so that a solid foundation can be build. Therapists that do understand childhood trauma waste the patients time because they don't tell patients the truth. YouTube therapists tell us the truth. We can read the comments of others in similar situations that confirm the truth that therapists like Dr. Sage are sharing. I do believe learning the truth is necessary to begin healing, but I do not know how full healing finally occurs. Has anyone an answer?

[lucilaspannaus]

As someone who is adopted, my mother wound has impacted me profusely. 🦋

[markcampbell]

Unfortunately my mother wounded me quite a lot as a child, from shouting at me because I reminded her of my father, to deliberately excluding me from doing what my brothers were doing. I left home at an early age, and we had become estranged, I rarely went to visit her, and when I did I was often either turned away or ignored, when I was coming up to the age of 21 she was murdered. so I have never had the chance to bury the hatchet, and try and work things out, that was denied me. Living without her has made me realise a few things though, she was a drinker, and often quite depressed, drunk she used to come home, and cry and wail on the end of my bed, but would never say why she was so upset, I would assume these days she would have been diagnosed with bipolar or bpd, due to the fact she was self medicating, her death has left me with many questions, and I can't get closure. My closure is acceptance of the fact that I have none, that goes into healing me to a degree.

[johnroberts]

Religious fanaticism was my personal hell as a kid. That's a tough one to work out of.

[RichL_Arts]

The only chance to start healing from my abusive mother is completely breaking up contact with her. My mother hit me in the past and has emotional abusive character traits. No matter what I said, she will not change. However, my wounds and my behavior still remain. E. G. when I read reports about people struggling with a crisis I get anxious or depressed. I start panicking for approximately a week.

[Dee-Ann_Louise]

Yup, I have been a fawner. I am becoming more aware of when I am doing it and working to change my intention when I am speaking to people. The fawning is beyond icky.
I have also been hyper-vigilant, and that is exhausting.
I was forever attuning to the woman who gave birth to me. That poor child [me].

[jds]

Thank you so much! This is an affirmation that I'm on the right track. Between yoga, Internal Family System work, somatic exercises, meditation, being in nature, investing in healthy relationships, and journaling (yes, I need all that and I'm not ashamed) I'm thriving while still dealing with the debris of my childhood and my present relationships. It's an on-going worthwhile journey.

[shao]

Healing here is a miracle, never happened in my life, it still hurts

[kimberlyeyler]

I’m so intrigued with how right on you are dr Kim. I am the person that internalizes everything I’m told. I always look up to my mother. It’s very hard to feel like I don’t matter to her. My sister younger than me gets the texts phone calls from my mother, not me. I am the black sheep, the failure, the daughter who she never probably wanted. So, in response to the thing I am choosing to work on this week for healing is setting new boundaries of a no contact because it’s very toxic every time she chooses to write me back usually only once every six months. I need time to feel worth something again without her input of feeling yuk inside. I think also a journal couldn’t hurt to write my feelings down when I feel something. To validate myself. Thank you.

[AntrimRachel]

I would really appreciate more content on dealing with these issues when your mother has passed.. Thank you so much for your videos! I am learning so much. 💕

[lottytaylor]

My mother was damaged by her mother & she passed that damage on to me, unknowingly i believe, she passed over last year, i cared for her in the last couple of years & i did finally get admittance & apology’s, its hard in many ways but emotionally im improving in leaps, i think because i dont have the constant feeling of disapproval tapping on my shoulder, im 60 soon so I write this to give hope to those still suffering under a damaged mothers love. Stay strong, you are beautiful in every way & deserve all the happiness life has to offer my friends 🙏🏻❤

[OrbAttraction]

😢 I woke up this morning asking for God to show me something that can help

I'm ready to give up, again!

A few minutes into this video, I hear a golf cart as it's coming around again, it's a woman working at a park I do my walking exercises in.

She passed me the first time and I know she noticed me crying (I do not like showing my weakness and being vulnerable to anyone)
I was crying with tissue to my face as I glanced to see why she was slowing down.
I saw her turn to me as she was slowing and then continued on.

The second time I saw her I was back in my Tahoe wondering if I should leave or just rest to walk again.

This is when I sat quietly and asked again for some guidance, please to let me hear what I need to hear, as I'm scrolling through my feed on YouTube.

I stumbled upon, I say I stumbled, but I mean gifted your video from God, because I had asked.

As I'm in awe over your words not far into the video, I hear the golf cart coming around for the third time.

But to my surprise I heard it turn off....thinking she was doing her job, I paid no mind.

Until I hear her voice ask me, how are you doing?

I said I'm here

She went on to say, God wanted me to stop and talk to you, she was getting emotional which made me more emotional.

I'm about to cry as she is holding back her tears.... this has never happened to me before, but God told me to stop and talk to you.

Through her tears, she told God no, I don't know her. I don't want to be in her business, and such.
She continued her rounds arguing with God, why she needed to do this!

God told her, because you will be obedient to me.
God said to her, if she's there when you go back by, you need to stop!

Of course I started crying because I had asked God....

This sort of intervention from God has happened to me at least 4 times in the last 10 years or so.

Complete strangers to me, but not to God.

They've come to me telling me they heard God say, for me to hang in there, you're strong, and I have the support from God.... And others. They all see you and here you!

That God knows my struggles, my needs and my wants.
God is watching he's making it happen for me.
To keep my faith, and trust in him, to speak to God for my answers.

Just ask God Laura!

I know I need to stop this fight or flight syndrome condition, kind of hard to do with my broken body literally going on 5 years.
There is nowhere I can go, but to go inward.
That's a scary place to go for me.

I kid around, with this saying, but it is true I know it is, to my core!
God had to put me in bed and keeps putting me in bed so I can heal myself PERIOD!!!

As I was being reminded through my conversation with Edna.... she could literally see God talking to me (as she said, God's talking to you isn't he?!) As I am processing how far I've come....through our tears we hugged, truly a well needed hug.

Edna my angel 😇 standing before me hand-in-hand.

I'm being shown just how had 4 surgeries in 4 years (I have my fifth surgery coming up in a few months 🙏) indeed this brought me this far.

I am driving short distances now, able to do some sort of grocery market shopping with a store scooter.
SSI has given me a little bit more money per month.
I am staying in a safe place, where I have my own room now. And can stay as long as I want.

I do see many blessings in my life today, your video.... Edna listening to God.... And me I'm a blessing!

On to many other videos of yours, seeking desperately the help that will save my life.

I appreciate you my new friend 😌

My Hope here with your videos, is to grow, and to be mentally stronger then ever
🙌🪘💃🪇

[Zelicious]

I love my mom so much. She had such a limited belief from her mother and then she was hurt for so long when she divorce from my dad. I dnt think she ever really healed. Now that I am older I see why I am the way I am in a lot of ways. I’ve worked hard to break cycles and go beyond those limited beliefs. There is still so much to unpack! Thank you for this

[iliaderojorosso]

Lately I've been working on giving myself the space to feel emotions inside and outside. There was a very touching moment when i reconnected with my inner child and she told me that she was scared of showing emorions because of the repercussions (this comes straight from when i was yelled at or mocked by my parents when i cried or was in anger when i was a child). I told her that my love for her was unconditional and there was always space for her and her emotions and from now on she would not have to shrink anymore cause i would build a safe space for us. I particularly have an hard time with anger, since it was the most policed in my childhood.
But it's such an amazing tool to set my boundaries and stand up for oneself.
So even if i don't know how to regulate it properly, I'm giving myself the space to feel my anger and let it out. And more importantly (bit this is super hard) to not feel ashamed about letting it out, or guilty for some reason. I catched myself policing myself intead of my parents and respinding to my showing of anger in the same way. I'm trying to stop policing myself and my inner kid (and my inner teenager).
Thanks so much dor your videos, they are being such a big help for me . ❤