What No One Tells You about Living in Japan | My Personal Experience

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About Me 【Ananyaプロフィール】
Originally born in India, I grew up in the San Francisco Bay Area. I started learning Japanese at the age of 13 and have been teaching myself for about 7 years. I speak English, Japanese, and Telugu. I graduated from UC Berkeley Haas with a degree in business administration in hopes of connecting Japan and the U.S. through business. 　

日本語を８年間独学で勉強しているインド出身のアメリカ人。サンフランシスコ在住。英語、日本語、テルグ語を話せる。UC Berkeleyビジネス専攻(Haas)を卒業後、マーケティング部署でGAFAに入社。アメリカと日本をビジネスで繋げていきたいという想いで、最初の一歩として日本に引っ越して、日本のfintechスタートアップWoodstock clubで働いて、現在クリエイター活動。

[thewritetable]

I’ve lived in six different cities in Japan, and most Japanese people outside of Tokyo don’t even like Tokyo. If you’re a social person then Tokyo is the worst place to make your abode. Osaka, on the other hand, has the funnest, straightforward, and helpful people in Japan, but the city itself doesn’t have much to offer in terms of places to go. Being part of Kansai, however, you can go to other prefectures like Kyoto and Kobe quickly and affordably. Tokyo in comparison has many great places to visit within the city itself. The people here are sad, stressed, and grumpy 98% of the time. People, in Tokyo are not very sociable because they know very little about other places outside of Tokyo. If you’re extroverted then Osaka is the place for you. If you’re introverted then Tokyo would be a great place for you. Tokyo is fun if you like being alone, which is what happens when you get older and wiser.

[vaishnaviyeleswarapu]

I love how well you articulated your experience. Moving to a new country or even a different state/region in your own country always feels the same no matter where you are. I was born in India, and my parents moved to the US when I was 6. A few years later we moved back to India but to a different state. Years later, I then studied in the UK but had to move back to India. I've been living in New Zealand for the past year and a half. Let me tell you that every single one of those moves made me feel like I didn't belong, even when I went back to India!
I resonate with your feelings. A new country is not always the perfect place you imagine it to be. If your heart is content despite the hardships, then that's where you want to call home.

As an anime fanatic, I idolize Japan and would love to visit someday. Thanks for being open about your experiences and sharing ways to get around the issues!

[CMush]

I lived in Japan for a year on a working holiday and when I initially got there, my Japanese was incredibly basic. The first 2-3 months were kinda lonely because I was living in Atami (where most people just visit for a weekend getaway)

I eventually moved to a city in Saitama and started making friends, landed a new job and everything went up from there. The people in my area were so nice. I’d regularly have people give me a “おはようございます” when I was heading for the station in the morning. I lived in a city with hardly any white guys, so I stood out like a sore thumb, but people were very friendly there!!

I’d also stop and talk to neighbours if I wasn’t in a rush to get to work. 🥺 I really miss it and I wouldn’t have moved back if my visa didn’t expire.

No country is perfect and Japan also has its issues, but I found myself in Japan and I want to get back there to see how life would be in the long term of living out there.

[kevinreily]

I live in Thailand, visit Japan a lot. I have friends in Nagoya, Tokyo, Takayama, Beppu & Osaka. Japan is the only introverted country I have ever visited. I LOVE the safety, politeness, great food, fantastic Whisky Bars & traditional culture in Japan. I am retired and have heard so many horror stories about "the Japanese Work Culture". From Japanese & Foreigners.
Osaka, however, is unlike the entire rest of the country. Everybody is young, friendly and it seems like an island of openness in a closed society.

[Luhgoon]

Thanks for sharing! As a learner I get tired of "DON'T SAY KUDASAI" click bait videos and enjoy when there's just some honest communication about feelings and expectations and such.

[melocitysolo]

What you’ve felt is essentially the same as what Japanese people from towns in rural areas experience when they move to Tokyo. Tokyo’s unique negative aspects have been talked about since the 70s and have often inspired songs. Yet, people will always aspire to go to Tokyo. That’s because Tokyo isn’t just part of Japan—it’s its own special place. In fact, TOKYO is not Japan; it’s an independent state all on its own.😆

[ねこぢた-sm]

日本人としてとても勇気付けられます😂
（I respect people who move to Japan. Everyone is very brave.
You mentioned that you had been going through a difficult emotional period last winter, which made me concerned.
I was impressed by what you said in your talk: "Once you can learn to accept the things about Japan that you don't like as much and after a while, I'm probably not going to feell as strongly as i do in the future."
As a Japanese person, I find this very encouraging.）

体調に気をつけて、がんばって👍
（Take care of yourself and do your best.）

[Greg-omhb]

I lived in Tokyo for several years in the early 90s. It was a life changing experience. (Imagine living in a Tokyo with no mobile phones, Internet, Google maps, or English signage in train stations. When leading edge comms tech was pagers and faxes.) I spoke a little Japanese when I arrived. People could understand my textbook baby Japanese, but I couldn’t understand the KEIGO of shop workers when they replied to my questions, and I couldn’t understand the causal Japanese if my coworkers as they talked to each other. But, before too long, I was chatting with colleagues over beers after a day full of speaking KEIGO to our customers.
The first year was a honeymoon, powered by the thrill of being in the country I had studied for years. But after that, I began to see a dark side of Japan that nobody tells you about. I thought was prepared for the xenophobia, but although people were polite and helpful, it became clear that they could never fully accept foreigners. For example, the first question everybody asked was, “When did you arrive in Japan!” Invariably, the second question was, “When are you are you leaving?” So different than the mindset of the melting pot of America. You might find it impossible to establish a close friendship with a Japanese person.
Given time, you will become aware of the endemic government corruption, the farce of elections, and the “sho ga nai, ” attitude of the citizens regarding this situation. The sexual harassment. The pervasive effect of the “deru kugi wa utareu, ” mindset. The inability of any organization to make a decision or to react to emergencies if the response has not been previously scripted and approved. That’s just the beginning.
I love big cities, and Tokyo is one of the most vibrant, exciting, cleanest, and well run cities in the world. But it is also terribly isolating, even for Japanese natives.
I found the writings of the American ex-pat “Max Danger” to be illuminating. One observation borne out by my personal experience was that ex-pats go through three stages while in Japan:
1. These Japanese are so different. I will never understand them. 2. When you get past the language differences and cultural quirks, we are all people. We are all alike inside. 3. These Japanese are so different. I will never understand them.
Enjoy your adventure. But be aware that Japan can be very hostile to other Asians, regardless of their country of origin, and they can be suspicious of foreigners who speak Japanese too well.

[KyleRichardsonD]

Cool perspective. I enjoy hearing people’s experiences in Japan as everyone seems to have something different.

[bhuvaneshjegathesan]

Hi Ananya you r so pretty and I’m so admired of your talent to study Japanese language and speak it so fluently like a native person .

[thinkbig]

Great video. I learned a couple of lessons that may relate. 1. Traveling or vacationing somewhere is VERY different than living there. I learned that years ago when I moved to Hawaii. 2. "It doesnt have to be perfect. It just has to be better than the alternative." While what you said about Tokyos negatives are true - at least you dont have to worry about being shot, stabbed, homeless, being pushed on the subway tracks, mentally ill people walking around, like you do in NYC. The last time I was in Tokyo I walked nearly 10 miles in one day without a care in the world for my safety. Good luck with that in NYC, LA or some of our major cities in the U.S.

[nicktankard]

I think language knowledge is huge for living abroad. I moved countries twice. The first time I didn’t speak the local language and it was tough. The second time I was fluent in the local language and it was so much easier.

[ebifried]

welcome back to youtube!! 🎉
i feel that people like us (grew up in the west but ethnically from asia) will never have that traditional “home” but have the ability to make it wherever we go bc there’s no one place that will fully accept us and i think that’s so awesome. like yeah japan will never accept me but that’s ok 😄

[samuelahajrizi]

Thank God! You finally said what I’ve always wanted to hear. Everyone who doesn’t live in Japan tends to romanticize it, while those who live there or have moved there often speak negatively about it. But you balanced the positives and negatives so well in your speech, and it made me think: ‘Don’t we all feel this way about the countries we live in, with that love-hate relationship?’ As someone who idealizes Japan for the same reasons you mentioned, your perspective gave me such relief. Your video also served as a warning or a reminder of the things I need to be aware of before deciding to live there and pursue my dream. It's normal to expect difficulties as a newbie foreigner, and I’m grateful for that reality check.

[mario]

As a felow Desi who has visited Japan, I can totally emphasize with your experience. At first I tried to fit in by speaking Japanese and acting that way, but eventually I realized I was better off just being myself and owning the whole "foreigner" vibe. I also had trouble coming to terms with how I felt so invisible in Tokyo. In Canada if someone even acts out a little, people will always react, whether good or bad. In Tokyo I felt like I could start dancing or doing whatever and everyone would completely ignore me. Good and bad, but you have to accept both and move on!

[andyroach]

I lived in Japan for two years. At the end of my time I felt resentful of the culture and left. My resentment came from being viewed as a speaker of English only as opposed to a person that speaks English and loves music and movies. People wanted to talk with me or be with me only because I spoke English. I felt resentful of this dynamic yet I made money from that relationship. It can can be hard to live in another country.

[goldiv]

ありがとうございました。
Thank you for sharing.
I started learning the language for real about 5 months ago, after years of off and on limited learning. And now im at a point in my life where I can pop on a flight to visit. I plan to visit enough to see if I'm interested in living there. But only once im able to read more comfortably.

I want to speak well enough to have that impact you mentioned amongst those who are glad you speak the language so well.

[jpndiaries]

I can really understand the part about commuting and the atmosphere of the train having an effect on how you feel/ produce anxiety 😬 I was commuting on a packed train every morning for 3 years and by the time I got to the office I already felt drained.

[strides]

I'm living in Tokyo right now for school, but I already had many friends and could speak Japanese before I decided to come here. When I'm feeling alone I just reach out to that group and its fine. I guess my case is just a very fortunate one. I also lived in big cities in USA my whole life so Tokyo is just LA in Japanese in my mind lol
I'm used to being ignored in public already but being black in Japan is still a little rare I guess so I do see stares here and there.

I also really recommend to anyone to find a nice sharehouse if they care to meet Japanese people who are interested in making close friends with foreign people, or even meeting other foreigners living in Japan. It really helped me acclimate quickly!

[Abdullah-bfrc]

New subscriber here, I’ve been watching the instagram content you’ve been posting about Japan and it’s been very informative helpful for me, Thank you.

I stayed in Yokohama/tokyo for about 3.5 weeks and honestly it was a huge culture shock coming from the background I grew up in.

I’ll be returning soon for an extended stay as a student, slowly learning a little bit of Japanese.Its difficult to remain motivated but I learnt that you can’t “function comfortably “ without speaking a little at least, the translator doesn’t always translate correctly 😅

I’m not sure how different Fukuoka will be from Tokyo but I do know it’s not as densely populated.Making friends, navigating, language is definitely a barrier.

I’m using your content as some sort of guidance when I get back.

Keep up the great work !