Help! My Girlfriend has too much Masculine Energy!

If it was your goal to help the woman in your life be more feminine (which I'm assuming to you means connecting, empathetic, playful, trusting) one of the best things we can do is understand her past and what might have created a more protective distrusting stance when it comes to relationships. I think the safer she feels, the more she can truly express her authentic self. While at the same time understanding there's nothing wrong with a woman who has more masculine energy.
#feminineenergy #datingadvice #marriageadvice

[spykkielee]

It's not masculine vs feminine "energy", it's behaviours. Guarded behaviour vs comfortable behaviour. Guys mellow down when they are comfortable too.

[dawndreamweaver]

A CRUCIAL part of making it safe for women to be in their “feminine energy” is also to promptly keep one’s promises (ie. do chores without needing to be reminded) and make sure she isn’t responsible for all the planning/organization! Women can’t relax if they are carrying the majority of the mental load!!!

[MD-gkun]

Women will never let down and be soft if a man isn't safe

[TheBaumcm]

How’s about don’t try to make her something she isn’t? My husband and I butted heads in the infancy of our marriage because he was constantly expecting me to be “other”. Instead of liking me flaws and all, he saw me as a block of marble that he needed to cut chunks off of to suit his vision, rather than just appreciating that I could be used as is, and had value as is. Finally, one day when he complained I was “too independent”, I snapped back and said that these were all the things you claimed to love about me and now you want it to change. Then I asked him during which period was he lying. Don’t make her feel like she needs to learn to be comfortable without you.

[Chaosqueenngami]

I have to disagree with this take. I’m a woman who would be classified as in her ”masculine” energy all the time. And it’s because I was loved, encouraged and accepted growing up. I grew up with no real influence of gender roles and was never discouraged from feeling or doing something because I was a girl.
I’m independent because being dependent on someone isn’t logical. I’m stoic because I know you can’t control what other people do, only your own reaction. And I am solution driven because the faster I can solve problems the sooner I can get back to having fun.
Your advice to the question should have been do nothing. If she’s happy and healthy being in her “masculine” energy, leave her alone and find someone else who fits what you want in a woman.

[JimmyonRelationships]

Let's aspire to all be a safe place where our partner can feel accepted, loved, and inspired to be whoever their authentic self is. =)

[PaulaRender-uq]

Independence is not pathology in either gender.

[paisley]

Being confident, a leader, rational and strong … those are attributes in a woman that will usually make men feel insecure. Being aloof, independent, self sufficient, and emotionally closed off … also attributes making men feel insecure. But not all of these attributes are symptoms of negative aspects of a person’s relational being. Some men feel like they also need to personify these attributes in order to be men. What’s the deal? Can’t we just be strong and confident without being “masculine”? Any of us?

[schokoloko]

To me it sounds like the man is insecure in his masculinity and in himself. Like he has to "compete" against her and he feels like he is about to loose.

[donnaanderson]

Either accept her as she is, or go find someone who “fits” with your idea of “feminine”. 🙄

[s.o.t.s.o.t.]

Why is he in relationship with someone with characteristics he dislikes? Hope she figured out his true intention to wanting to change her nature and dumped him.

[rachellereeve]

I've never heard of this term 'feminine/masculine energy, ' but it sounds like bunk. I am a woman. My energy is what it is.

[sarairobedo]

This is the healthiest response I’ve ever heard

[lesliebean]

I cannot express how grateful I am to have found your channel. I may never in my life find a man this emotionally intelligent. But, this still gives me hope in miracles.

[linda.christie]

It sounds like you are describing me! I am a lot more apt to be guarded because of how I was treated in my family of origin. I was the scapegoat; nothing I did was right or good enough.

Thankfully, I have been working on myself the past few years. At 60, I finally came to love myself. I will be 62 next month and am awaiting my perfect mate. I'm happy that I have not settled for less than I deserve! ❤

[theskv]

This “masculine/feminine” energy seems like a covert/indirect way of saying “behaving according to gender norms I was acculturated to expect the opposite sex should stick to”.

[Asongbook]

I am always going to be sn independent lil cuss. If you prove to me you're worth it, I will be your partner, but i will never be your subordinate. If you don't like my "masculine energy" the door's over there, if you just leave or let me go I'll wish you well. And yes, I'm coming up on 30 years of marriage to a man who values me as an equal.

[debbienyarko]

Thank you for this! I think people would consider me to act in my “masculinity” but you summed it up perfectly. It’s all as a result of the things I’ve been through, not feeling accepted, loved, respected or protected. However, when I let my guard down with people that I can be myself with and show me kindness. Sorry to say, but if a guy is asking this question then the girl is not in the right relationship. Sometimes us independent girls just need extra love and kindness to drop our guard. Sometimes we are who we are out of circumstance and not by choice. Thank you😢🙂

[itchysheets]

Masculine energy for a woman is when she is in survival mode, she has to be tough. If you’re the reason she’s in survival mode, bc she can’t depend on you and doesn’t feel loved or heard or seen by you, you’ve given her no choice but to have masculine energy bc you aren’t embodying masculine energy yourself. When you protect and provide and give her what she needs to thrive then she will be in her feminine receiving energy, she will know that you’ve got the masculine covered. These are subconscious things, and masculine and feminine will naturally balance when they are functioning in their roles as they were meant to. Women will bloom and thrive when they are safe and loved and treated well, and they feel safe to be feminine, and she gives back ten fold what she is given to her.
That’s why men who treat their mothers, wives, sisters, and daughters well are rich men in some way or another, bc they bless themselves by blessing the women in their life. It’s in women’s nature to care for those they love, reciprocity is on a heart level in this regard.
For an example, my partner treats me like an indentured servant bc he knows I have no other options as a stay at home mom, and that keeping my family together is of the utmost importance to me. He treats me very badly and wonders why I’m not fun to be around. I’m plenty fun. Not going to be fun for a tyrant. Not going to go out of my way for an overlord. Not going to ask him how his day was just so he’ll have an excuse to hear himself talk…when he makes sure I can’t leave the house.
If a man is asking this question, I wonder his motives. I wonder if he loves her at all.
Femininity isn’t just being something shiny to look at.

[PrincessOfSpace]

Thank you for not believing in these feminine or masculine type of things!! I was ready to square up 😭