THIS Is The Real Reason The Avoidant Needs Privacy & Space From You

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In today's video, Thais Gibson discusses why your avoidant attachment style (dismissive avoidant attachment style) partner truly needs their space and privacy. Watch now to learn more about boundaries, creature comforts and how to address the avoidant attachment wounds as Thais provides useful tips and guidance.
To learn more, explore the transformative course, "Healthy and Secure Relationships with/for the Emotionally Unavailable Person", for powerful tools you can begin using immediately on your journey!

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00:00:00 - Intro
00:01:00 - The Avoidant in Childhood
00:02:55 - Fear of Being Seen and Known
00:04:28 - What To Do
00:05:28 - Client Story
00:07:15 - Creature Comforts and Shame
00:08:58 - How to Address these Wounds
00:10:55 - How to Apply to Your Relationships
00:11:01 - IAT On Demand
00:11:54 - Ask Questions and Normalize Creature Comforts
00:13:32 - Conclusion

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Hey there! I'm Thais Gibson, and this is the channel where I teach you how to transform your life.

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Our Youtube videos give you a glimpse into this in-depth course content. Much of what you'll learn here is based on your attachment style and how that affects the relationships you have with your family, friendships, and of course, your romantic relationships.

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[MIMIDSH]

It isn't personal against anyone. I'm just naturally reserved and reticent. When I socialize, I'm extroverted and engaged but then I need to decompress. I love my alone time, and value my privacy. It's nice when someone not only understands and accepts me, but feels the same.

[annthropomorphous]

I don't know about other avoidants, but as for me, I don't want to be completely known because I don't want to give anyone the power to manipulate me.

[sifublack]

Poetic that this video would be posted today. My FA and I were good friends for 10 years before I started falling for her. I was asking myself why recently and I came to the conclusion that it was in fact her support. The first time I realized this was when I asked her to attend a Judo competition so she could watch me compete. Her answer was, "sure I'll come, but I want to see a good show!" I can honestly say that I've never had a woman support me with such encouraging words, not even my own mother and sister (they always treated me like some kind of muscle head). That's why I fell for her right then. This is a great video because these are straight facts!

[LucasfbLima]

This was trully an outstanding Psychology class. Thanks for being so clear, Dr. Thais!

[msrae]

7 months today …
He has started to pull away and go distant.
Today he didn’t call me for the whole day
This is something new
My whole chest is hurting
I’m so sad right now 😢
Why did I let him back in 💔

[spacecat]

Y’all, if you can’t ignore the compulsion to leave nasty comments on a video about about an insecure attachment that doesn’t have to be yours, then do everyone a favor, stop watching.

[sheriedenfield]

26 years of marriage with a DA, and I feel so damaged!! He refuses to go to therapy, so I go on my own.
In the couple of months that I have been going to therapy. He has pulled away more and more. And now divorce is on the table when our youngest leaves for college this fall.

[wisdomguveya]

Please make video on friendships on different attachment styles. So why do they shame you when you are at your lowest. Flaw find and rewrite history

[extendprogram]

Sounds good in a perfect world but really.. how many DA’s actually acknowledge they need therapy THEN will actually go, THEN actually commit to the process of change. I say less than 1%.

[romah]

I met a DA and he had an adult child [20] always playing mind games with me. I only knew him for 3 months, stopped talking 5 months ago and still mentally messed.

[Jae-byhf]

Can you do more videos on anxious attachment? I know that these are more popular but anxiously attached people are also harmful and annoying tbh. Their clinginess and quick to infatuation gets them hurt and then they blame everyone but themselves!

[mmaidofsteel]

Thank you so much for mentioning this 'shame hangover' - I've experienced pushback from so many people that I've really connected with on the first meetin; and then the second time I see them they act very uncomfortable and almost disgusted by me - even though they seemed to really get something out of the initial interaction.
I’m so glad this is a thing because I've been internalising that as there's something almost repulsive about me 😔

[Keffin]

Great video Thais. I'm an AP and my gf is a DA. We've been in a long distance relationship for 3 years and we see each other only 1 weekend per month. Would love a video on any tips to make this work. Keep up the good work.

[paracoco]

I am an avoidant and don't seek relationships.
On the one hand, people say that avoidants shouldn't date at all. On the other hand, the anxious types chase me hard and won't take no for an answer, and then people are mad at me for not giving them a chance.

Damned if I do; damned if I don't. 🤷‍♀️

[PriestOfYod]

More on how to encourage them to self reflect

[BruceJC]

Mine brought me to her house and asked if I could see myself living there lol.

[ntildesley]

I'm so confused about my partner. He says his upbringing was great but moved countries when he was 21. So he misses his fam. But his mum didn't talk to him for a week as he didn't tell her we moved in together (or that I existed all together). She acts nice to me, I'll meet her in a month. But she says she'll keep our relationship secret when she tells neighbours, to save them gossiping. Seems super problematic. So he is really confusing. Gets extremely jealous if I speak to a guy, but then keeps intimate videos of a friend's with benefits on his phone, and old dating app contacts. He is quick to yell at me for not cooking or cleaning and doesn't want to be 50/50 with chores because I'm applying for jobs and not yet at work. He opens up and says he wants kids only when we make love, once briefly when just talking regularly. If I move towards him, he pulls away and vice versa.

[utaka]

Now i feel shame for not navigating the issues in a healthy way….i was on vaccation with a man i‘m getting to know.i pointed out the things i didn‘t like.For example, we wen‘t out to eat and he was on his phone while we where waiting for the food.i told him, its rude to do such thing, when on a date with a woman👀
I could see his shame, yet i need to adress such things🤔i was hungry aswell and maybe i said it to harsh…..damn.the avoidants trigger me, i feel rejected🫣

[Healings_]

DA lets me In his house and see his son BUT he won’t open up his but see little spirts here and there. Like it can take a year I see spirts of vulnerability. 😢I was confused and I can’t read minds. I pulled back.
We can go a year and come back and a year and come back. 🤦🏽‍♀️. I have boundries up now. I told him I need Since past toxic relationship I became blunt and I know what I want. He knows i didn’t want to push him. My bluntness sometimes makes him shutdown again and again bcuz of my needs. I see my issues I need to work on. I’m a AP side 🥴.

[onecompetive]

What if the deeply hurt avoidant, I cared for, behaves like a covert narcissits, how to know?