The Love Expert: The REAL Reason We’re Lonely, Loveless, Depressed - Alain De Botton, School Of Life

0:00 Intro
02:17 What Mission Are You On?
04:48 Mental Illness & Where It Comes From
08:25 Is Happiness Something We Be Should Chasing?
14:14 How The Modern World Is increasing Suicide Rates
21:04 The Modern World Is Shining A Light On Our Own Wrong Doings
21:07 What Is Romantic Love
26:18 Why People Have Daddy Issues
29:57 How Do We Become Aware Of Our Own Destructive Cycles?
37:56 Conflict Resolution
40:49 True Love & Total Honesty
42:17 Sexless Relationships & How To Navigate Them
46:12 Why Does Sex Matter?
52:26 How Do We Stop Our Partners Getting Bored Of Us?
55:19 Core Habits A Long Last Relationship Needs
01:05:08 Can We Ever Truly Heal From Our Traumas?
01:07:18 The Power Of Distance In A Relationship
01:11:54 Ads
01:12:47 Why Did You Write A Book Called The Therapeutic Journey
01:20:44 What Is Resilience?
01:22:42 What Do You Hope People Will Learn From This Book?
01:25:44 The Last Guest's Question

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[TheDiaryOfACEO]

If you enjoyed this episode, could you please hit the like button 👍🏾 it helps us massively. Appreciate you all! 🙏🏽

[alexandracrisan]

"Love is a skill to be learned, not just an emotion to be felt."💯

[timloughnan]

As a therapist myself for 37 years, Alain is so articulate and affirming of the importance of the work. Sometimes I really lose track of that because it is such cloistered work and after many years it just feels normal. I lose track of the amazing privilege of witnessing the vulnerability and courage of people. So many of those I see have helped me grow and inspired me even though they came for help themselves. I think Alain is just brilliant. Thanks for this conversation.

[kathleengardiner]

I love this (paraphrased):

People always get unwell because of love (not referring to strictly romantic love). All mental unwellness stems from a deficit of love. There is always an experience of an unbearable cruelty in some way that breaks the mind. And when people get well there is always an experience of love that heals. And an act of love saves us/redeems us.

[_s_]

Please work on giving your videos better titles. He is one of the greatest philosophers of our time...to call him a "love expert" is demeaning.

[HorseSaddleRider]

People are not getting enough good quality rest. We were not meant to be on high alert - the stress response should be transitory.

[divinitywithkirsty]

A good life isn’t a problematic free life, it’s a life in which we’ve found a way to learn from our inevitable pain - what a quote!!

[melshen]

"The graceful acceptance of your miniscule position in the cosmos is the gateway to calm & harmony." - YES YES YES YES YES!

[TheButtafly]

This interview with Alain feels to me like a warm hug in itself. The desire for understanding from Stephen, a willingness to be vulnerable in his questioning, and the deep insight clearly and gently expressed by Alain… Wow, powerful indeed. Love and appreciate them both! 🙏❤️

[renatasuerth]

Alain de Botton is a philosopher and therapist who understands the human psyche more than anyone. I love that he’s an atheist but understands the profound importance of religion.
I can listen to him talk all day long! Thank you for this interview!!

[buckykhumalo]

Alain De Botton is one of our modern-day great philosophers. His take on relationships is amazing and reading his work has helped me tremendously!

[MD-iqhc]

Thank you Steven for allowing your guests to speak freely and seamlessly about their expertise and topics of interests... it's such a relief to listen to a flowing conversation where the interviewer does what he's supposed to do (listening with intent) without constant interruptions and interjections. Thank you Steven. Keep it up. Intelligent questions, fewer interjections and impeccable listening skills. 👏 Bravo.

[vkj]

“Love expert” sounds so cheezy 🙄 this man can explain everything related to people, being more of a “life expert”

[ArchitectdaSilva]

Please bring Alain back! Soothing, articulate, inspiring, spiritual and thought provoking. This 'like' 👍🏼 is gilded.

[letsgrowrightnow]

“Love is not an emotion we should feel, it is a skill we should learn“

[frocksandscrubsadvanceecoc]

Alain De Botton, is truly a unique and gifted being of an intellectual level to be experienced. I admired his work for the past twenty years, and follow his progress on social media. What a gem to the academic realm of learning. I am watching from the Caribbean-Trinidad and Tobago. Bravo!

[LuckyLily]

I love Alain De Botton, The school of life helped me tremendously with my anxiety. Highly recommend his lectures on YouTube . My favourite quote of his “ When I meet someone, I ask how mad are you ? Because we all are mad “

[TheLastSongbird]

Kids may not need the 'perfect' parent but they must have one that
loves them and shows it so the kids know they are loved.

[kazzandraambay]

This is the most anticipated guest I was excited about. I always loved Philosophy and the power of the mind. As a Filipina nurse working in Singapore, I see the sadness in modern society. Alain's thoughts and works had help me relearn the complexities of human emotions and to show more kindness and empathy to those who needs it. He is really soft spoken, endearing and intelligent.
Thank you so much for this! 💙

[jadebayliss]

I absolutely love Alain. My mum used to read his books. Accepting we are all flawed- what a relief!