How Your Fear of Failure Destroys Your Motivation

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▼ Timestamps ▼
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0:00 - Reddit Post: "How can i stay motivated after years of failure"
1:57 - Establishing long-term motivation
4:20 - Natural human motivation
5:22 - Processing the negatives
6:49 - Why do you assume that failure is the default?
7:42 - Past issues don't have to be indicative of future failures
8:15 - Respecting your opponent (Esports anecdote)
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[jeflha]

Poverty also plays a huge part into this. For the guy posting this story, screwing up and losing his job directly threatens his long term safety of financial stability. Poverty essentially is a perma stress debuff which makes the chance to fail only worse.

[NerdyTheologian]

You reminded me of when a teacher of mine said "The only way to become bulletproof is to acknowledge all the ways you're not bulletproof." Thank you for the great video!

[Balloonbot]

Its sad because fear also just slows down things i've already taken action to start. I go the gym regularly, i've started trying to improve my art after work - but fear of failure always makes it a force of willpower over passion and interest even though i've got into the habit of doing them consistently. It also negates the achievements - in my mind improvement is met with "Yeah but its luck. You're still so far behind. People are still better than you" - gets really tiresome, and its a struggle not to quit everytime.

[v.velanga]

"Your past does not dictate your future, you are in control of this. You just need to take it seriously."
This man says so many great things even if it is not exactly the problem I am having.

[neugabi]

"Take it seriously" kinda hit me hard. When I'm inclined to fail, I wasn't taking it seriously to protect or justify myself. Now I don't know how to take it seriously. I always stop at the authentic assessment of risks of failure and then I get scared and lose courage to continue... this is so hard..

[DoctorAzmain]

This is so relatable – acknowledging the FEAR and moving past it, pushing through the Automatic Negative Thoughts, it’s all hard. But achieving the “motivation” comes through serious self-reflection! And allowing yourself to mess up because you're human is the best way to grow! Cheers for this Dr K

[karenwang]

I (try to) draw comics, and the thing that holds me back the most is the fact that each page takes around 10ish hours to make while someone will spend about two seconds reading it. It feels like the story or whatever has to be absolutely perfect in order to not have wasted my time, and now about 8 years later, Ive still never finished a comic project. Idk, I hope other people can relate to this or something.

[AxeKick]

Ah, yes…the age old rivalry between the goblin and his arch nemesis the otter.

[SillverBel]

Boy, if I had a nickel for every time Dr.K answers with "you don't, " I'd have some epic cashflow.

[ImperialPC]

Dr. K be like: "I should replace the s-word with 'crap', so it's more family-friendly....so anyways, BULLSHITTERY. "

[fritz]

So what happens to me every time I attempt to study. I know I have to do it but my brain keeps telling me I'm going to fail before I even start to study, it sucks. This advice is really helpful, thank you!

[Mute]

i need to rewatch this again and again there are great lessons in this video. respect your problems, now if i could just find a way to apply these to myself that'd be great.

9:43 "authentic doubt is better than false confidence" one of the best parts of this video.

[ksin]

Couldnt have come at a better time. Thanks Dr. K! youre the best!

[Leitis_Fella]

"I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little death the brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will allow it to pass over me and through me. And when the fear has passed, I will turn the inner eye to see its path. And when the fear is gone, there will be nothing. Only I will remain." --Frank Herbert

[Obiesands]

Courage is not the absence of fear, courage is being afraid and doing it anyway

[MichalLSK]

This video is like a god send for me. I start a new IT job next Monday and it finally pays well. Unfortunately, I have it in my head from my previous job that I will be an underachiever and everyone there will look at me as the worst worker. Something in my head keeps nagging at me that I can't be a successful worker and that it must end badly.

[dranben]

I've had this exact problem in many areas of life, and then I was recently diagnosed with ADHD and everything made so much sense

[TheLoneBit]

My fear has already buried my motivation six feet under. I hesitate to say I may follow soon in it's place. But I just do the only thing I know, the only thing I was ever taught. Put myself into something I can't get out of... Then coast on that path until I hit a new rest stop... I just took on some debt to go to school to be a barber. Now I am stuck going to school for the next two years and I still have a year after that to pay off the debt... That's my way. Spikes my anxiety... But, if I survive it I will be better for it.

[adamgreenhill]

This came right after I realised, I keep telling myself I can't do this. I can't handle it, I'm not capable. Couldn't be timed better

[thomasloveys]

watched this before an important evaluation at a new job. Being able to recognize possible mistakes really boosted my confidence and helped me succeed! Thanks doc, watching this really made a difference