A Compulsive Liar's True Intent: Understanding Patterns Of Behavior

Have you ever had an experience with a person who always seems mysterious and nothing they say ever comes to fruition?

Well…if so, you might have been dealing with a sociopath, narcissist, or even a pathological liar. This article will discuss 6 important characteristics we should all be aware of with the pathological liar.

In this video, I discuss characteristics of pathological liars we all should be aware of. Pathological or compulsive liars often display patterns of behavior that are easy to spot in hindsight. But this video aims to give you a leg up.

It's important to understand how pathological liars interact with others. Some characteristics you may notice include but are not limited to:

Habitual/frequent lying that is consistent
Triangulation (which I will discuss further next week)
Listening to respond ONLY
Manipulating you into "playing" roles in their life
Seducing you
Exaggerating things to distract from the truth
Using emotions to control and dominate
Studying you and looking for your weakness
Rehearsing their lines and lies

There are also common characteristics of pathological lying that can be found in the following diagnoses:

-CHILDREN & TEENS:
Oppositional defiant disorder
Conduct disorder
Juvenile Delinquency

-ADULTS:
Borderline Personality Disorder
Narcissistic Personality Disorder
Antisocial Personality Disorder "sociopaths" and "psychopaths"
Histrionic personality

I encourage you to post your comments or questions below.

[PhilippeSHOCKMatthews]

Another great one Tamara! I can see these behaviors not just in individuals but in communities, cultures, governments and administrations. Brilliant work!

[nata]

"It's about keeping YOUR identity center stage in your mind. If you DON'T do that, then you're gonna get ran over."
100% words to live by.

[NeverLetLoveGo]

Once they’ve figured out you’re a good person they take you on as a project and will show that they’re nice until their mask slowly starts to come off. Then you find out that they’re actually an immature narcissist they will try to destroy you. GET OUT quickly, save yourself!

[crystalarul]

1.passive aggressive behaviour
2.emotional control
3.mental corruption:corrupt how you see yourself
4.triangulation:drama triangle,
5.no boundaries, they dont respect your space
6.evil and vindictive

[BeechnutU]

This was spot on. My ex-husband, Narc, went into full retaliation mode when I finally decided to divorce him. If you aren't knowledgeable about parental alienation, you should look it up. In short, my ex manipulated our teenage daughter to completely reject me. She and I were very close, but he manipulated her by giving her money, permission to engage in dangerous behaviors, etc. He engaged her as an ally against me. They both started a smear campaign on me with extended family members. My life collapsed after an extended period of this alienation by my daughter. Run, run, run from these evil people . Their goal IS to destroy you and they will use anybody and anything to do it. My daughter has refused communication with me now for 13 YEARS. I am stuck in a neverending grief cycle because of this.

[sassmastasweet]

Being in this sort of situation is absolutely mind bending heartbreaking and soul crushing. It can destroy you, but only if you let it. You are an individual. You have agency. It is Yours and only Yours..only you possess the power over You...period..EVER..

[amotherofcolour]

This is truly your calling to give a voice to these toxic relationships. Last month I had to cut off 90% of my family because of the triangulation, manipulation, &emotional abuse. Thank you, please keep making your videos.

[TheSuperQuail]

I just flushed a 'friendship' with one of these people yesterday and I'm angry that I didn't do it 20 years ago.

[gerrysmith]

I should also express that through my negative experiences with various narcissists etc, I cannot hate them because that is not who I am. I really try to see past their actions and understand what makes them the way they are. It's almost as if they want to upset you and get a reaction. I will state the facts, but I will not allow them to get a fight out of me. It's as if they want you to lower your vibration to match theirs. I am remembering what my grandmother taught me years ago. She said never lower yourself to the actions of anyone else. It took some years for me to really utilize that and it isn't about blaming another, but making sure that one really tries to keep their standards of love and caring in their heart and themselves and avoiding hate. Hating another is no good for anyone.

[musicalroom]

I think it's very important to learn about psychological self-defense. Most people are strangers, and most of them don't have any meaningful effect on the well-being of a particular person, so there is no selfish incentive to care about most people. Yet we live in a society that is governed by rules that prohibit physical aggression, so that those who want to take advantage of others are incentivized to keep low-profile and employ manipulative tactics to advance personal goals.

[kiskakuznetsova]

Thank you, I grew up in a family of pathological liars. And many of us had public-facing jobs! I really thought everyone interacted that way until I got out in the real world and no, that's not accepted. So, I got help and changed and it felt SO good to take that weight off and not have to constantly be linking the fantasy with the rest of the world. I had no idea how much hatred, insecurity and sadism was involved with my family's generations of lying until I changed my ways and then, at age 21, my family turned on me and triangulated and smeared me because, in my mother's words, "You think you're so f-ing evolved now!" It's embarrassing to say that you came from that kind of family and that you too did that until you were 21, I'm not proud that anyone who met me before that age must have thought I was crazy and that I did not form good friendships. On the other hand, the good relationships I have had as an adult mean a garet deal to me and I value people in ways those who have intact, sane families don't. It says a lot that changing from living in a fantasy to living in reality at 21 threatens one's family so much that they punish you for it, punish you for getting better and punish you for telling the truth and seeing the truth (because if I had to see the reality of my life, I had to acknowledge the abuse and neglect, it was less painful to lie and live in a fantasy where my family were all just eccentric intellectuals who were too good to be held to the standards everyone else had to live by).

[gerrysmith]

Yes, you are totally correct. My sister is a classic narcissist and she has done everything to me including going to the court. She wants control over me no matter what and it shows. She is very good at fooling everyone in the family and friends who I thought actually knew me and really cared about me. The wisest advice I took was to go no contact. I believe the next wisest thing I should do is move from my small home town because I have no doubt that she still lurks. I have already been made aware of it.

[frankieroberson]

Yes, keep the video's coming! The second narcissist woke me up and then I was able to identify the patterns with the first one; I always say a Narcissist Saved My Life because it required me to do the inner-engineering and comprehend mine why? Why am I allowing someone to disrespect me it's always some underlining problems that were never addressed during childhood. However, I am learning new tools to navigate; not so much as letting my guard down but I am learning to trust my instincts. Yes, when mental corruption is on the horizon it's time to discern these narcissistic properties and get out of there otherwise we will get pounced on instead of standing there like a deer in headlights! #anchoredinknowledge #healingisaprocess #trustheprocess

[loverainthunder]

We need more professionals with your level of education about narcissism. Thanks for sharing this information.

[Andronicus]

Wow, so well explained! My parents, and to some degree some other family members are like this. Unfortunately this rubbed off a little on me when I was younger. But in my twenties I realised I didn't want to be like them. I felt iving a life of narcissism and lies is like not really being alive, not being a whole person. I'm now close to 50 and have healed to some degree.

[SatoriSeals]

This is such a great commentary. Some insight and understanding was gained from this. With Pathological Liars still not being clear what motivates them you did a great job tying it into narcism. This commentary brings peace to us that had to face this.

[piapinkat]

You hit the nail on the spot! This is the first time I'm actually looking at it with such a clear perspective

[ErikaAir]

I have been this.. I hate admitting it.. I was also locked in the self destructing cycle of active addiction.. this video really hurts to watch.. but if anyone has felt like that.. like me.. there is a hope.. if you want change.. you can change.. I’ve only been sober about 2 1/2 years and my life has changed dramatically for the better.. anyway.. thank you for this video.

[TheQueenOfGreatness]

Ok, my niece was abandoned by her mother at 3 months old. My parents took her in and legally adopted her. Her dad, my brother was around, but it wasn't a loving relationship. Myself and my parents raised her; I was 15 at the time.
she is definitely a pathological liar and it's frightening. I can no longer have a relationship with her because of the fear that she put in other's heads about me. She will put lies about me into the heads of men that I have dated.
The latest, she lied about her pregnancy and who the father was.
If you don't know her you will think she's an angel, but she is a horrible horrible person in reality.
*sad*

[saturdayschild]

Great video. I grew up surrounded by pathological liars. I ended up marrying one that lied and said he wasn’t like that. He’s now trying, emphasis on trying, to destroy my mental health and reputation to match his lies. I’m grateful to God that our children noted the lies early on in their childhoods and decided not to be like him. The divorce is done. Thank you for explaining this phenomenon so clearly.