Struggling To Trust Others And Yourself Again? (Watch This)

In today’s show, we’re talking with a husband who’s unable to trust his wife emotionally, a young mom dealing with guilt after accidentally burning her family’s home down, and a business owner struggling to hire competent and loyal employees.

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[nancyt]

I found Dr. Delony's talk on his expanded view of faithfulness very interesting. Really nice job with this first caller.

[David-woun]

I don’t see caller #1 ever having an “or what” moment; he seems like he will continue to accept whatever she does to him.

[nannygoatbassoonist]

Your YouTube fans love you and I think I could speak for most that we want you to not stress about the channel. We will be here. In the meantime, I'll be watching any old videos I've missed and clicking like buttons. Praying for sweet Granny.

[kimberlysmith]

Caller...I agree with Dr. Delony. See a counselor on your own. Couple's counseling can obfuscate the objective by virtue of the fact that the person you're in conflict with is present.

[mmkvoe]

This husband...my sisters and brothers and I have watched (7 of us with an 18-year spread) our mom treat our dad badly, up to emotional abuse, our whole lives, and as each of us has reached adulthood we are so over it. I haven't officially heard, but I've heard enough hints from both parents over the last 15 years that I'm pretty sure my mom was sexually assaulted before she was married; but she hasn't gotten past it/healed, and there are also other factors in her life, lifelong, that she also hasn't taken care of or is in complete denial about; and all things considered, she is truly a narcissist ("borderlines run hot, narcissists run cold"), and my dad, having also grown up with a father who was the same, has just dealt with this his whole life, and the trauma bonds are strong. And we kids dealt with trauma bonds similarly over the years, but we are all determined to live better. But the biggest, hardest thing in my life, pretty much, is knowing that my dad can't have a close relationship with my mom because of how she is, and that he won't do anything about it, really; but he's not treated well and yet his supposed "love for her" and "willingness to stay with her and stay married" is not actually based on health or healthy relations; and all Dad's daughters, especially, have tried to get him to be firm and get a better relationship for himself, which he could do to some extent, but he won't, so we have to just let him live and be an adult. But it really rubs me the wrong way whenever I hear about spouses who won't treat each other right.

And, I love Dr. John because he knows so much; he's managed to learn things somehow sometime that too many people, and too many men, haven't learned; but his experience apparently hasn't come from watching this dynamic play out between his parents his whole life. And as others have said before, he almost never starts out willing to believe that the husband/man is less at fault than the woman/wife. Which by and large, may still be kind of a safe estimate to begin with more often than the other way around; but more and more it's the case that women are the problem. I think this show itself, and the number of calls John's already taken where the wife is the problem, is teaching him more about changing his standard heuristic; but yeah, here's to hoping the day will come when John doesn't have to say, "I didn't see this call going this way, " because there are many of us who are absolutely familiar with this, and from the first words the husband says, we know the whole situation, with no surprises. John can be more validating quicker (which can then lead "sooner" to moving on to taking action) if he is familiar enough with this to just believe the men and not give them the quizzing of the century! My dad went to religious leaders and others over the years with and without my mom, and rarely if ever was believed about how things were, because he's the man--and especially if my mom was present, because she could always tell a story that people would believe first, ...and that was skewed. It makes my blood boil.

Anyway, as some other famous people now in Nashville have begun to put out there more, recently, there are so many cases where women are the problem, and over time, the men eventually treat them badly because they can't take it anymore (but also don't have the skills...except as Jordan Peterson says, what on earth can you do when a woman is a harpy, and so even if you use the best skills, there's no working with the person), and then the "official" or legal consequences eventually come to the man for having acted out, with not enough looking deeper to see that the woman always instigated everything for so long first. It's totally sad to me (just having always known all about this) how "recent" it is for officials and the system to know about Battered Woman Syndrome and take that into account on the female's side...but now it's definitely time to assume that that can be totally equally true on the male's side and treat the males as well as a female would be treated.

[violetedge]

Best advice I have ever heard Dr. John give on call 1.

[sackettfamily]

completely relate to the mom who's husband works on the road! I've been married for about the same length and he's never made much money. life happens to you and it's hard to rest as an adult.

[bornaries]

She's not into him anymore for what ever reason. When a woman is leaving a man, there are HUGE issues in the marriage he probably isn't willing to say or admit.
Women leave emotionally and then physically.

[mercedesrodriguez]

I don’t have my spouse in my box either. I see he loves me but he does not care about me.

[mozartrn]

Casey - I am an example of who Dr. Deloney spoke of. Listened to pastors, observed the biblical mandate of no divorce (spouse not involved with another woman, only himself). After 36 years, filed. Children were launched and understood "he's not relational"... Not glad about this but it wasn't a marriage. Thank God for service to others, horses and music. Hopefully your wife had an epiphany or something.

[turteltaube]

19:26 minutes into the call. DR DELONY your expression when Jessica told you the age of her 2 babies...priceless! 🙂 WHAT a 5-month-old and 15-month-old. how does that work? (you paused for a good moment) 🐣🐤

[asltina]

His wife is not attracted to him anymore. That's why she is pulling out.

[JETTSTACHI]

I bet if the wife of the first caller would speak, she would tell a different story.

[Thesussysuscat]

Her husband will be I'm big trouble if he wrecks his tanker not having enough off duty hours

[-KMA-]

Caller 1 is afraid to talk to his wife about his feelings because she doesn’t want to hear that she has issues or causing issues and I think she’d rather run away from her problems because she doesn’t want to be a failure or she is cheating.

[m.b.]

There are so many questions I feel needed to be asked to the first guy. You don’t just choose your kids over your husband.

[kathirodden]

Why does she want to He’s not perfect like he’s saying

[erikhuisman]

You aren't a single parent if you husband is working

[JoeyTheProdigal-prxl]

John you just gave every excuse under the sun for divorce regarding your views on infidelity. Completely unbiblical.

[cows]

I know this was 2 years ago but you were WAY off base with this one. He is a spoiled big baby that is jealous of his kids and feels like he is not getting the attention like a spoiled little boy. He sounds like he wants all the attention fir himself. Boo Hoo! Maybe he hasn't given her the respect, help and attention she needs and is done with him! Then you bring up infidelity. That was unfair to point the finger at that when there is no evidence. I'm really disappointed in you and your answer. Maybe she can't trust him and doesn't feel appreciated and adored by him and she is done taking care of a 5 yr old!