Fixing a Sexless Marriage

Successful, and handsome men often find themselves in sexless marriages, here's my take on how to handle this....

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[aviator]

I suffered a sexless marriage for 15 years. We got married right after the high school. I was too young and ignored all the red flags you mentioned. Besides of lack of sex, she was a bad mother, bad at the household, dirty, not looking after herself.
In the last few years of marriage, we had sex once or twice a year.
Finally, 2 years ago I made a hard decision and we divorced.

[snehalkrishnan]

This is what I’m most afraid of. I’d rather remain single getting sex whenever I want than stay in a sexless marriage.

[caydenpo]

You can’t. If the marriage is sexless she’s already lost all respect—just move on.

[bjkarana]

Been there, done that, and the rejection hurts immensely, but my wife underestimated just how in demand tall, lean, 39 year old men with good jobs are.

[rgxs]

Been there and done that when I was married. The relationship is a jet and the sex is the fuel. The jet crashes without the fuel.

[ItalNico]

Thank you so much for this video. When I was single I used to think that anyone who sought getting their needs met outside of marriage was a horrible person. Now that I'm married and dealing with a mostly dead bedroom I see things from both sides. We don't have kids and have only been married a few years but things in the bedroom have mostly dried up to once or twice a month at most. When and if it does happen, it is lacking on so many levels. I'm almost 50 (and 7 years older) and I eat right and work our regularly so my sex drive is through the roof. In the past I tried talking to my wife about it but it didn't seem to help much. Our normal pattern was that I would initiate 99% of the time and she would only do so about once a year. Things got better for a while but a few months ago when the rejections started becoming too frequent I just stopped initiating completely. Oddly enough like you said, this has resulted in her initiating which is a step in the right direction but it is still happening far too infrequently. At this point I'm pretty checked out of the marriage lasting much longer but we'll see how it goes. I do know one thing for sure, if we end up getting divorced I'm never getting married (or living with a woman) ever again.

[Finnerski]

Here is a prime example not to get married guys. Sounds like a Chad on paper but living a beta life.

[amadeuss]

I told my wife from the start - If i don't get it in a relationship, I'll get it outside of it.
Since I don't like to ask.
Simple.

[HarveySpector-zkxf]

I’m from a culture where this is common with wealthy men. The women that look the other way see those marriages as transactional most of the time. They’re not emotionally invested so the benefits they get from the marriage outweighs the guys behaviour, and as long as the benefits continue they’ll pretty much tolerate anything. There’s also cases where the woman is bi and gets off on it but that’s quite rare. What’s more common is the woman loves the guy so deep down she’ll never be ok with sharing. She might try if he’s providing but eventually resentment builds and she’ll take him to the cleaners sooner or later. Seen it a few times. I would tell him to exhaust all options before taking this route because it sounds like he has a lot to lose.

[StudSupreme]

Withdrawing both physically and emotionally will indeed shake them up. It's worked for me. Just do your own thing - go to work, go to the gym, go out for a beer with the guys. Put some distance between you and the chick. If she objects, disregard. She has a tantrum? Ignore. If she doesn't react at all, your relationship is over. But it's very likely she will indeed react and try to get your attention and affection back.

[BillB-xg]

My wife have rejected me so many times.. that I stopped asking I am not going to put myself through that rejection anymore.. the thought of having sex with her repulses me.. I am also angry at myself for letting things get to this point.. I feel I no longer have a wife.. I have a roommate

[GentlRebel]

I am a woman and I can attest that hormonal imbalance is real. Testosterone pellets changed my life and my marriage for the better. I have them implanted every 3 months. No downside for me, only increased energy and a libido that went from about a 2 to 9.5 out of 10. I highly recommend finding a good integrative medical practitioner. It’s not cheap but totally worth the money.

[contractors]

Nice one! The blunt path is truly the way to go. I had this situation once; told my wife to buckle up, or else I would be seeking other options. Now I almost regret it; she now wants it much too often

[ChadVanKlompenburg]

My experience is - don't get into something you can't get out of. Men if you make good money and enjoy sex, don't get married. If they push you to get married - dump them.

[canadian-man]

I noticed 2 distinct situations with my ex-wife where our relationship became sexless. The first was when we got married, our intimacy almost vanished, I would always be asking for sex, also fell into the trap that if I did chores, that could equate to her providing intimacy. It’s like when we were just dating or a non-married couple she would be into sex, once married sex wasn’t next anymore. Another trend was her “promising” that we would have sex that week, probably by or before the end of the week. When the time came she always had excuses and would push it off another week, weeks became months and soon I would become frustrated and I would show it indirectly. Once we did have sex it was always a “quicky” and she wasn’t into it. The second change to our intimacy was soon after the birth of our son. She had some issues when my son was born, she had a painful go at it and needed stitches, so I stayed away from asking to have sex for months, awaiting her slow recovery. Then 7 months later we did have sex but she wasn’t into it, also soon after her response was “sex is only to have babies” so essentially forget about us having sex anymore and she had the final decision on that, permanently withholding sex and years went by with no intimacy at all. We divorced after 3 years.

[lyingdogfacedponysoldier]

The only way to fix a dead bedroom is to find another bedroom

[paymantabatabaei]

The result of marriage without sex is no more than three things: divorce or depression or loss of sexual desire of the other party, of which I belong to the third group

[johnsteele]

After my wife joined CrossFit gym and started getting in shape... Completely changed for the better.

[jameswillard]

And yet with this extremely common scenario so many guys still don’t think twice about jumping head first into marriage, some of my friends actually don’t even have kids and are experiencing this situation. It’s human nature to be sexually desired by your partner but yet there are very few women (in my opinion) that are open to the alternative scenerio that Rich talks about in this video

[leonblack]

I ALMOST went through this. Switched my daily routine and focused on myslef more. It literally came down to me telling her that if i can't get what I need from you then I have no choice but to F someone else. Things have been decent since. I absolutely can understand why guys have side chics but personally never seen anyone be ok with being number 2