how to be elegant - the only advice you need

👚hoodie - @popflexactive

Drawing from her personal experiences and encounters with people, Elle asserts that elegance transcends appearance and cannot be confined to a specific aesthetic or social class. She emphasizes that true elegance lies in the ability to make others feel warm, welcomed, and at ease, rather than solely focusing on external appearances. By shifting the focus from superficial criteria to genuine human connection, Elle challenges listeners to rethink their understanding of elegance. Exploring the definition of elegance, Elle acknowledges that while the concept may seem generic, she proposes an alternative perspective that reframes the mindset surrounding elegance. She recommends a book titled "How to be a Lady" as a valuable resource, despite not fully aligning with all its teachings. Specifically, Elle highlights the book's emphasis on making others feel at ease and welcomed, which resonated with her own understanding of elegance. Moving on to the realm of fashion, Elle explores the current trends associated with elegance. She acknowledges the prevalence of online fashion content that portrays elegance through neutral colors, luxury-inspired designs, and high-quality fabrics. However, she cautions against the notion that elegance is exclusive to a particular social or wealth class. Instead, Elle argues that elegance can be embraced by anyone, regardless of their background or financial means. Elle concludes by reiterating that true elegance is a way of life, extending beyond mere style of dress. By embodying the principles of warmth, welcome, and ease, individuals can achieve their desired goals and attract people who align with their values. She encourages listeners to embrace elegance and start incorporating it into their daily lives, emphasizing that it is not limited to a select few but is accessible to everyone. Ultimately, Elle empowers her audience to pursue their aspirations and embrace elegance as a pathway to personal fulfillment.

[AjwaB]

Personally I like to dress up, it’s just a part of my personality. If others feel bad because I’m dress up then that’s a sign for them to start dressing up too.

[bootsmadewalking]

I agree! As a black women, my mom always told me to go back and look at archival footage of black folks at the March on Washington and other civil rights marches. Most of those people were poor (bus drivers, maids, garbage collectors, etc.) BUT they lived their lives with SUCH dignity. They dressed elegantly and they lived their lives with their head held high. Elegance =/= wealth!

[DominiqueFrancon]

This video describes my mother. My mother was a young woman during the great depression. Despite her very humble childhood and poverty, mom was a soft, gentle woman who was the epitome of class and elegance. She never wore expensive clothes, and she only had costume jewelry, but she dressed herself up every day and fixed her hair and she looked adorable. She could start a conversation with anyone anywhere. Mom was a great listener and a welcoming hostess whenever someone came by her little apartment. Her apartment was decorated in a very feminine way, and was always clean and tidy. When my mother passed away, her funeral service was standing room only. She was a lovely and loving presence in the lives of all who knew her. She radiated joy and kindness. To me, she was the epitome of elegance.

[NimeetaA]

doing an "elegance" video in a casual hoodie and preaching like nobody's business is a top-tier work of art. thanks Elle ☺️

[VagabondAnne]

Diana Vreeland, editor of Vogue, said, "Elegance is refusal." I took this to mean refusing anything that is not essential to who one is or wants to share. And when people speak of say, an idea or solution being elegant, it generally means that it is clever, and gracefully includes only the essential.

[AnikaAmlani]

"Instead of focusing on others and how we can make others feel warm, welcomed and at ease, we focus on what shade of beige is the most elegant" 🤣🤣🤣 I love your videos!!

[katharinaharke]

The mindset shift is definitely true, I started my elegant transformation some years ago, not only my wardrobe, make-up and hygiene but also manners and an elegant perspective in total. You definitely get waaay more attention and recognition just by not typically overreacting like everyone else does. But - as people are super thirsty for attention and craving your presence I needed to build way stronger boundaries and walls to protect myself, not gonna lie.

[maymay.freitas]

I was in fashion school a while ago, one of the most interesting things I've learned was that the people who don't seek the spotlight for themselves and bonded through the creative process were the best leaders of every brand.😊 the creative minds are not overdressed or judgemental, they flow between us and make us feel highlighted by ourselves cause they see beauty and inspiration everywhere❤

[Tinaablee]

I disagree on not overdressing. Overdressing just a tad will make people take you more seriously in every situation. It radiates confidence, just like confident body language. While I definitely want other people to feel good around me, as a woman it is extremely easy to be talked over/disrespected, etc. Overdressing is an extremely easy way to make people respect you more.

[RachelLidya]

I can’t for the life of me go “underdress” and blend in with my surroundings, i’ll be totally miserable🫠 and dressing up really helps my inner self to handle life more positively everyday

[angierodriguez]

I watched a video long time ago from Jamila Musayeva in which she shares some of her views on what being elegant is about and something that resonated with me a lot was that in order to be elegant you must get rid of any sentiment of envy that you may have completely, because envy is a feeling that makes us ugly and unhappy and it shows in our interactions with other people, and this explanation reminds me of your video about femininity, where you say that a woman must be at peace with herself and the choices she has taken in life. I believe all this to be so true, and my mom is the best example I have, she is not a wealthy woman but she is extremely kind, welcoming and warm, people gravitate towards her because her personality is so sweet and easygoing, whenever I am around her I feel at peace and welcomed but she doesn’t hesitate when it’s time to set boundaries either, family members have often tried to take advantage of her generosity and kindness and once she stops them they have started rumors about her because they cannot longer benefit from her so they try to devalue her image, but have been unsuccessful in doing so. I believe elegance shows very easily when people show kindness, manners and consideration for others, by being respectful and overall feeling happy with our life choices, to me all this content of women eating a burger with silverware or wearing heels while saying someone else is trashy for wearing a pair of converse are not elegant at all, the impression they give me is of someone who is desperately trying to appear wealthy, someone who is elegant just exists in their reality without bashing other people who dress differently and a lot of content creators just fail at realizing that.

[renialatrice]

We also can't ignore the euro centric beauty standards that come with the elegance content online even from other POC

[southernrosetiadee]

It never fails: despite saying, “Use discernment” and imploring viewers to allow room for nuance, ppl heard you say, “underdress” and immediately leaped to defend their sartorial choices 😂 It is possible to dress well while still radiating a warm, inviting energy. Underdressing is all about the energy of ease and warmth, projected through your attire and into the spaces you occupy. Clothing can either help or hinder that projection, but it’s nuanced and nowhere near being a one-size-fits-all situation.

[Shrilaraune]

I've read a couple of really brillant comments here and together they have heleped me articulate elegance:

Elegance is dignity, either held within oneself or extended to others. Elegance is refusal of anything that is not essential to that dignity. It is elegant only when it includes the essential.

I haven't finished this video yet, but just for this new core principle, it gets a 10/10 from me.

[alohakeakua]

It’s so true - the right people and right network connections is all that matters in your life.

[lifebyaprilb]

I agree with what you said, I think elegance is acting appropriately in certain situations and making people feel comfortable, not necessarily being in a dress or in high heels ❤

[veronicachic]

I don't know, I still refuse to succumb to the athleisure hivemind ethos. It's just way too drab seeing everyone in the same hoodies and sweatpants 24/7. I'm nostalgic about fashion from other decades and centuries and I'll never change that! There's just too much beauty in clothing from the past to only partake in sweatpant culture. Most people are interested in my clothing style and it often sparks conversation even!

[oliviasmit]

I think it’s a balance between being true to your own taste and paying attention to how that makes others feel

[caroliinec]

Bestie, i was raised with this mindset and i care too much about it now that its become people pleasing 😭 would greatly appreciate your advice on people pleasing because bestie it is EXHAUSTING

[Ivana_Ivanova]

I love watching elegance content. Sometimes I notice how it gets focused around dressing only in a certain way and behaving almost robotically, aspiring to look flawless and the focus being on yourself at all times.
When I saw the notification, I raised my morning matcha in the air as it is time for the support group to gather❤

'True elegance is making others feel walm, welcome, and at ease.' - I love this principle! And the whole viewing of elegance as a way of living, and how our life is changed by the people we connect with so we should be 'servants' to them if we want for them to do the same and multiply the abundance in our life.

❤Servant mindset❤ is making a comeback in this episode.