Vindictive Narcissism

In this video Darren Magee discusses vindictive narcissism. Why are narcissists vindictive? Is being vindictive a sign of narcissism? Where on the narcissistic spectrum does the vindictive narcissist lie?
What are the behaviours, characteristics and common tactics of vindictive narcissists?
Why are they constantly seeking revenge?

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#narcissism #vindictivenarcissist #narcissisticabuse

[DarrenFMagee]

The videos I make are topics suggested by you the viewer. Feel free to suggest any mental health or psychology subjects you'd like me to cover in future videos. Just a reminder though, these videos are not a substitute for support from a mental health professional.

[andreaanonymous]

They're all vindictive. I have been around all the different types of narcissists and they are all extremely vindictive. That seems to be a trait that they all have. There wasn't a single one that wasn't. They will go after someone for any offense, real or imagined. The more something hurt their ego, the worse it gets. At least that's what I've seen from my experiences.

[brianjones]

The narcissist who is vindictive, petty, entitled, and controlling, has to continue winning battles, and they are use up their energy thinking of ways to get even for imagined slights, and they remain stuck in an endless cycle of blame shifting, and conflict, while they lose relationships.

[chrissy-xox]

They are some of the nastiest people I have ever come across, yet initially are so tender, sensitive and charming. Beware .

[amandastanley]

I was married to a narcissist man for 25 years. We had 2 beautiful daughters, and on the whole, a good life. However, mostly in private, in tormented me. That saying’ walking on eggshells’ was how I felt. So controlling, so manipulative, so emotionally abusive. The only thing that I can take from it, is that I have taught my daughters the signs to look out for, and to believe in their gut. ❤️

[ladyloungealot]

Hi Darren, you said something very important, that I noticed in some people: "They never learn. They never grow as people". Thank you for this. I used to think that some people never grow up, they just get older. Now I see why some people close to me acted like children when well advanced in age.

[TR-nvif]

I’ve experienced these same situations. I even overheard 2 bully women plotting against a new coworker they were jealous of. The narc. Female bully boss took their word as they were all best friends.. As I tend to be quiet and was extremely busy in my job in another room next to them, they assumed since I was quiet, I was also deaf, dumb and blind.. boy did I hear a lot of their devious conversations ( they weren’t doing it as a game as every evil thing they plotted against their competition came true) I was fired after 10 yrs as I started standing up to them ( calm and professionally). The rest of the coworkers were great but everyone was terrified of these 3 bullies ) of all the 1000’s of people I’ve worked with, this was the worst.. it was like I was at psychological warfare with my demented bully boss. In the end I was almost destroyed but extremely proud of how I stood up to them.. they were so angry with me because I saw right through them and was the only one who refused to put up with their games.

[daringgreatly]

I wish more companies knew about this. These people ruin lives. 😩

[texasrefugee]

My ex-husband was extremely covert narcissist. If he couldn't manipulate me he would become extremely vindictive. After I left it was really really bad and it never stopped for at least 5 years. It's like torture and I have to admit he killed himself later with drugs and booze sitting on the pity pot and I was relieved. I felt like God pulled a butcher knife out of my back.

[daathdorothiel]

Thank you! I have just found your channel! Being a survivor of decades abuse (parents, partners, colleagues) and having no proper help (in eastern EU) I’m stuck on YT professionals work. I appreciate your pragmatic approach, it’s really soothing!

[JD-imwu]

i have a narcissist father who also had the fortune of inherited wealth. And I am sure many of you know that narcissists with great wealth is a horrible combination.Today he showers my golden child brother with it and not only that but when I achieved my own independence and made my own wealth through my own hard work, literally pulling myself out of the ghettos of america as the scapegoat with the mistake of trying to show off my new cash bought home of 2.5 acres to prove to him my own capabilities as a form of revenge he instantly tried to sabotage everything and did the most unbelievable things to mess up my accomplishments... Luckily although he has caused me great heart ache since and I had to give myself self therapy for my anger towards the things he has done to me. That was the final straw. I have stop talking to him since and he still sends me emails of guilt stating that I will be sorry for not talking to him because after he dies I will feel very ashamed of myself later. I still talk to my mother although she is the typical textbook enabler. All she does is gaslight everything and create false scenerios and lies about how much my father loves me and how wrong I am for not talking to him etc. I think my family is as narcissist as narcissist can get if I were to write a book about it. From the childhood traumas and abuse till now in my adult life it has been a rough and painful experience and today I am totally isolated from everyone trying to get back on my feet. Its a rough journey to be a scapegoated son of a wealthy and connected narcissist. I already cut off ties with every one of his flying monkeys the only last connection he has to me is through my enabler mother which i find harder to cut off and don't think I will.

[ellie_j.]

2:19 Thank you for clarifying that, I I have never heard that being mentioned, that they can switch between being grandiose or covert. It's something I have observed with the narcissist I know. She is grandiose whenever she's getting a lot of attention, a lot of supply. Whenever some of her antics push people away or exposes a little bit of her evilness, than she becomes more covert and switch from being grandiose to victim mode. Once the dust settles from whatever evil she has done, she switches right back to grandiose! Cunning and manipulative!

[AZDC]

10:30 "That need for REVENGE, . they believe is going to give them some sort of relief. But it never does!" Exactly!! And it's only human to enjoy their displeasure of their failure to attain this sort of relief via doing that

[colleen]

All narcissists are dangerous. I was married to one for 27 years. He stole his friend's wife and derailed careers at the police department where he was a captain. He left friends scratching their heads because of his lies. He stole my self-esteem, my home, work, and self-worth. He tried to take our children from me. Ultimately, he stole my family cemetery plot. Yes, my reserved cemetery plot for my final resting place with my family members. He sold it behind my back to a cemetery broker. I had to seek legal action to have the body removed. Pure EVIL.

[notaclue]

Unfortunately, with a covert narcissist, I don't think others do see what the narc is all about. I think that's one of the hardest things about it.

[mariankeller]

I was married to an abusive narrcistic alcoholic for 21 years..I married and divorced him twice.. in my naivety I believed the first divorce taught him a lesson...I was wrong ..I took 5 years counseling and relationship classes to get my life back on track..in all honesty I learned from this..when you battle an abuser its not the person you battle...its the demon inside them..its not true they will not or cannot change..after 33 years apart my ex called 3 times..one to tell me he was sorry..2 to say he'd become a Christian and 3 to tell me he'd always loved is no doubt he was honest and truthful..what I couldn't accomplish...God had..he passed away shortly after his last call and our youngest son's wedding..I forgave him for the wasted years of our marriage after I found out the truth of his childhood that was never confided to me.. the sins of the father are passed on to the child...against his will...his parents has destroyed him

[kitsune]

My nex is vindictive and grandiose. They are ALL vindictive and all play a victim. They even tell people you did to them things they did to you. A malignant grandiose doesn't listen to criticism AND goes into a hypersensitive rage and monolog.

[stevemiller]

I was married to vindictive covert narcissist for almost 25 years, I used to say about her that she would cut off her nose just to spite her face and this was common in more circumstances than not, thus causing herself problems Just so long as she can express her vindictive behavior and to make sure the object of her vindication did not get their way.

[IzabelaWaniek-ix]

The narcissist’s lack of insight and introspection together with their delusional thoughts of grandiour and detachment from reality makes them impossible to connect with on any ground. Their malevolence which is born out of their arrogance and resentment qualify their behaviours as evil and the results of their actions result in confusion, chaos and destruction which is understandable because they are in clash with reality which is truth. Thank you so much Darren.

[yesday]

I am a manager in a law office that also has analysts. I hired an analyst and for a few years he was fine. But then he started to develop email feuds with his colleagues. He would tell lawyers he knew better about a legal issue. He would put down other analysts. This became such a morale problem, that I had to address it with him. I gave him a fair evaluation, because he did good substantive work, but I also noted his inability to get along with his co-workers. And the meeting I had with him was horrible. He denied everything. Everyone else is a liar. He was the only one doing the job correctly. He never makes mistakes. He only sent cover-his-ass emails because he knew the lawyers were going to 'throw me under the bus.' I mentioned, 'I am not a bus. I'm not going to run over anybody. If a mistake is made, we're just going to try to mitigate it, and figure out how we can keep it from happening again.' After this meeting I became public enemy number 1. He sent emails to me accusing me of being a racist, a bigot, and he started cc'ing my supervisor, and my supervisor's supervisor and so forth all the way up to the head of the organization. He began patrolling the office several times a day, glaring at everyone as he went. Almost everyone was afraid of him, and when he was told to work from home because of this while disciplinary proceedings were ongoing, a security guard was hired because the employees were so afraid of him. After three years of depositions, board hearings and rulings and the like, he was finally fired, and then the appeals started - he had three sets of appeals going at once, and they are still pending 4 years later. In each hearing he would badmouth the fact finder and refuse to testify under oath, so he would lose. He was also badmouthing me and the organization to anyone who would listen. I actually installed security cameras at my home because of him. Your description of the vindictive narcissist fits this man to a 'T'. These people should come with warning labels! They seem so effortlessly charming and reserved right up to the moment when something happens, no matter how unintentional or constructive, that they don't like.