Coercive Control| 5 Covert Signs You're Being Coercively Controlled| Narcissistic Relationships

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Coercive Control| 5 Covert Signs You're Being Coercively Controlled| Narcissistic Relationships
Today I'm talking about coercion and coercive control and I want to talk about 5 ways that toxic people will isolate you - 5 signs your being coercively controlled through isolation. Some of these ways fly under the radar in fact there are some I fell for at one time. I want to share with you how dangerous coercive control is, why narcissists coercively isolate you and how to break out of it. Lets talk about what coercive control is and again understanding this reveals how dangerous narcissistic abuse is. Coercive control is when someone uses fear, they do things that cause you to feel fear as a way of controlling you. You get so scared of how they're going to act and react that you begin acting in ways that are contrary to who you really are, to how you want to be and to how you see things in general. For example - lets say you love to paint but every time you're painting and just enjoying yourself you're not doign anything wrong. Every time you're doing that - if it's met with extreme aggresion, anger, rage by either a narcissistic parent or narcissistic significant other - you begin to fear doing things you love and you actually stop doing things you love bc/ you're about to paint but you think they're going to get mad, something bad is going to happen, and then you stop doing what you love. So two things happen - one the person is controlling you but 2 you are actually changing on the inside.

coercive control, isolation, how narcissists isolate you through coercive control, how narcissistic parents control you even when you are an adult, adult children of narcissists can be isolated and controlled by toxic parents, how narcissists manipulate, covert manipulation tactics, hidden signs gaslighting, toxic relationship signs, am I being abused by a narcissist narcissistic, how coercive control changes you

[letym]

It's not only done through fear, it can also be done through guilt trip, victimizing themselves, insistance/persistence (not taking no for an answer) aka disrespect and breaking of boundaries.

[Wuestenwiesel]

To summarize: if the compromises in a relationship is changing you to a person you dont like or feels like sucking your soul out of you or feels draining literally all the time, then its time to run for the hills.

[Cmac]

Trauma bonding. Something I had never known anything about, but an awareness of what it is and how it works has opened my eyes to so much toxic behavior I was so bewildered by previously.

[RestingBeachFace]

This is so true!! My ex-husband used to yell at me and call me names when I would sit and read books, which I love to do. So I stopped reading and it’s been 13 years since we divorced, and I still can’t sit and read. I knew that it was his abuse that caused this, that it feels bad to read. I have so angry with him for taking that away from me. Thank you for validating this.

[CourtneyK]

When you have to hide a healthy phone call. Yeah that hit home

[michelejones]

My husband is controlling like this. His dad was that way and now my husband is. He tells me that my family members think I am stupid and that they talk about me behind my back. There are a lot of things I hide from him. There are things I don’t do because I don’t want to hear it from him. He doesn’t yell at me, instead he uses guilt and fear. I don’t do the things I love because he keeps me too busy to have time to do things I love. On the rare occasions that I do get to do things I love he won’t let me do them by myself. He always has to be with me and he has too much advice on how I should be doing my hobbies that I would just rather not do the hobbies because I can’t enjoy my hobbies when he is telling me how to do them.

[Stinkbeatle]

My ex wife and mother inlaw both Narcs, called it "training". The mother inlaw openly and repeatedly said men need to be trained. She laughed and ridiculed her husband in public. She also trained her three children and anyone else in her reach, to dance to her tune or suffer her outbursts. The daughter was the same.

[healthadvisor]

I used to love going to the gym or outdoor stairs. He would always call me during my workouts, and seem "bothered" when I would let him go. He would also call me when I was on the stairs and start arguments. So happy I got away.... now its getting him out of my blocked messages ... 💣

[izawaniek]

What a great video! Thank you for such an accurate description of what coercive control is. It is like being a prisoner in a world of deception! Pure hell!

[momackin]

Thank you, Michele--always so enlightening. Even after a year of living seperately from my husband, I am discovering more and more the way his behavior was controlling. He has traits of a covert narcissist, but he is also so passive aggressive, it has taken a long time to see clearly what he did (and does) over the 15 years of marriage. I had no idea it began when I got married, moving to the other side of the country with no internet, no phone except on the weekends, and even no tv. He used the term, "Two become one, " all the time, so I gave up so much of what what mine and who I was. Thanks again for your insightful videos!

[NoComment]

This happened to me as a teenager -

I played the Clarinet & Piano all the way through school; however every time I practised, it was underhandedly conveyed to me that I wasn't allowed to be doing that & that I should stop it.

Of course, when, at Parents' evenings I was told off for 'not practising enough' - or if I was failing academically - my parent then criticised ME for not practising enough!!

It's not a surprise that every time I've tried to take either instrument up as an adult, I've dropped it quickly.

She made me allergic to something I loved doing.

She still plays piano though, so all is well in her world, at least!!! 🙄😠

[marylindsey]

Having gone through mental and physical trauma related to my marriage, my brother has assumed the task of "helping" me. Many of the signs that you list are applicable to his behavior towards me now. It is extremely difficult to set boundaries with him, but I am working on it with my counselor. I just wanted to share this because I believe that coercive control can be found not only with partners and friends, but family members. Thank you for your insightful video.

[peterknyk]

What you are talking about today I experienced repeatedly with the narcissist! Anytime I finished a project or created something I would often have this gut feeling that she would not be appreciative or would want to change something about what I just did…. I think it was all about control, subjugation and probably “putting me in my place” for the narcissist! It was in so many ways so debilitating and literally destroyed what self-esteem I had left in me at that moment when she did that! 👿

[Cowface]

You can’t enjoy anything enduring covert abuse. The link between joy/fulfillment and pain is so entrenched your brain doesn’t even want to experience joyful and fulfilling things. It can’t feel joy without pain, and eventually just stops seeking joy.

[hanagraphicdesigner]

Just now the narcissitic father was using violence to get into the house. He threatened from outside and once he got in took hold of the sweeper to beat my elder sibling. It got stopped on time. I was trembling. His "reasoning" was just because he removed his clothes on before entering cause of covid. He could not wait for my elder sister to open the door he was already violent. My elder sister told me she can't remember anything. I want to say thank you for your channel, i was working on listing the core beliefs last night.

[rewildrevolution]

I’ve been through hell and back with abusive relationships to the degree, I can spot coercion very early on in dating. I dated a guy recently for a total of 2 weeks. We hung out about 5x within that time period, 2 of which were him showing up at the yoga classes I teach. From the very beginning he started texting me nonstop, calling me several times throughout the day, sending me tons of selfies, texting me late at night, first thing in the morning - it was overwhelming and stressful! I quickly found out he was married and that he had blocked my social media page from his wife’s account so that I would not see her - indicating he was controlling her social media page and controlling her! I cut the cord quick and told him what I thought of him in full detail so that I would be far less likely to have him try to come back around after I blocked him. I’m so thankful for videos like yours as they have helped me get out of abusive relationships and prevent getting involved with them in the first place!

[Star-djkw]

❤ excellent video 1. 1:40 steering you away from activities you enjoy with their anger or pouting 2.

[Kay-lcwv]

Most people assume that these things only occur in intimate relationships, which isn't always the case. Thanks for the video!

[HaleyMary]

I chose to distance myself from some old social circles due to some narcissists in the group and thankfully I was able to do that during the pandemic when things shut down. Even though some places have opened back up, I am cautious about getting out there and seeing people again because I'm not sure I want to be around the same toxic people and moving forward I might only want to be in social circles that are uplifting and supportive and stay away from those social circles where people try to coerce me to feel bad about not partying like they do. It gets lonely only seeing one friend group once a month for open mic nights, but it seems like the healthy alternative for now.

[AgentTruth-yypw]

Spot on! I was trauma bonded to my ex. I woke up…. Depressed of course but now that I’m unattached I feel so free. Thank God I let go. On my path to healing and happiness now. This video is helpful!