Why are some people more resilient than others?

It goes without saying that human beings are not your regular “animal.” And while I don’t know the historical references that put the word ‘being’ after human instead of ‘animal,’ it’s clear we human beings are unique beyond measure, and because of this, our individual resilience will be different pending a few things, and that’s what today’s latest video is all about.

To learn more about the polyvagal theory and the inner workings of the nervous system, check out these two videos:

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The statements on this Youtube channel or in videos are simply opinion. Content presented or posted on this channel is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment or a professional therapeutic relationship. Content presented or posted is intended to provide general health information for educational purposes only and you should contact the appropriate healthcare professional before relying on any such information.

[cprbruce]

Some of us who are more resilient have had horrendous and unimaginable childhoods, which carried over into repeating abusive adult years battling a myriad of symptoms and disorders but have learned resiliency by developing a split mind and new way to cope and survive because there was no safety. Those who are like me with multiple personalities are highly resilient and adaptive but not from helpful or nourishing pasts but out of a survival mechanism. And we live life seeming strong resilient and unbroken though we are actually shattered in our minds and suffer deeply.

[bluecube]

I call it a person's CORE... a solid center keeps you resilient.

[TejubescDM]

Was thinking about it time ago and had similar conclusions. I believe I developed anxiety not because of the negative events but because I had nobody to share them with. I was bullied in school and I believe if I had any friends, we would make fun of that bullies and it would not affect me. But I had no one and I am terrified till this day of socialising with people cause I experienced only bad from them. There was no balance. The same when my dog was sick it traumatized me not because I didn't accept her unavoidable death, but because I was alone with my dark thoughts and scenarios about what will happen. That's why I cut off contact with my family cause I realized if I can't have their support in most traumatizing moments I don't need them at all. Wherever I see another person, animal in discomfort I try to help and be with them. Even if I can't do much. That's because I know being left alone with your dark thoughts and pain is the most traumatizing.

[penelopeperez]

You look gorgeous, Irene! :) About the topic, it makes so much sense what you’re explaining. It reminds me of Peter Levine’s brilliant quote: “Trauma is not what happens to us, but what we hold inside in the absence of an empathetic witness.”

[eileen]

I just think this young woman is
“ BRILLIANT!”
And I WANT to learn as much as I can with her help. I feel like I would earn an Honorary PhD to be taught by her.
I have posted before about my Anxiety breakdown in 2018. The chronic stress and crisis was in the making since 2003. Of course… much started in childhood already.
This breakdown brought with it a new Anxiety symptom of chronic dizziness( yes, 24/7 with a little relief at times.) that I am still working on. I have been living dizzy for 3 years. I had NEVER experienced this before. I will not splash the details of this symptom here as To many people are sensitive to the language.
But I would love to ask Irene’s expertise in the area of symptoms like this as there hasn’t been anything physically wrong with me. In fact… I am a very healthy lifestyle human.
I am assuming that it IS all in the nervous system that needs to be purged… healed.. understood???
It’s been extremely rough to cope and I soo want to recover.
I BELIEVE I can and that I deserve it.

[Lilynite]

This makes complete sense. I’m 42 now & still rattled at my core. Never had any solid figure in my life, no aunts, no grandparents, my parents were not safe. Now I live alone, have nobody to eat with or be with & feel I am continuously getting worse from having no co-regulation. Lost my faith a long time ago. 💔

[seanyeo]

Thank you for this, came upon your Instagram page via a friend’s story and found it fascinating, This video has in some ways touched upon a topic I have always wondered about, coming from a relatively safe and peaceful developed country, I’ve often been stressed out travelling in more vibrant and disorganised cities. The noise, the smells, the sights make me feel both fortunate to live where I do, but I have also wondered if it simply meant that I just wasn’t ‘tough’ enough to overcome what billions of others consider a daily reality. It’s like I suddenly was thrown into a reality I couldn’t face up to, and I felt both privileged yet guilty for not being able to do so.

[gabijajankauskaite]

It’s such an interesting topic. I wonder how it translates into the animal world. In the animal shelter I’ve noticed dogs who have been tortured but still enjoys people company and are not fearful but there are other dogs who didn’t have extreme trauma (that we know of) but become very reactive and fearful

[shahilagh]

I m very resilient ... but after many years of being resilient I realised too much resilience isn't good. it becomes a coping strategy and then difficulty adds up adds up and at one point the person breaks

[wendylock]

I didn’t have the base line validation, I was brought up by a mother who was anxious and full of fear, so that’s all I’ve known as child, I’m an adult now and alone my parents are long gone but every day I wake up terrified of life and I’ve been in and out of therapy all my life but I can’t break out of this fear of total abandonment and feel safe with my self, I was an only child so my mother dumped everything on me so I never learned to exist as a safe person, I feel so alone and scared, I don’t know what more anyone can do to help me,

[CHARLESSBRONSON]

Do you have any videos on Alcoholism and the after math of stopping the alcohol? How it impacts our body our brain and spirituality? Now that I've stopped drinking as an everyday drinker, I feel that my brain does not know how to process everyday life scenarios, always stressed and anxious, even the most tiny little pieces of life cause so much stress an Anxiety, always over analyzing every single little thing.. I feel like everything is new and I'm in danger in any given situation, even just sitting on a couch.

[kham]

First time I saw this video,  browsing through the comment section, I just burst into brief and heavy tears.

[bluecube]

Well that explains so many people i know that are off the charts as adults.

Guessing personality disorders can be linked to the lack of learning self regulation?

[Carroty_Peg]

😖😖Hi Irene, I would love to hear your take on schadenfreude; I've been working on reducing my self-criticism, self-judgement and doing the same to others and I find myself hoping bad things happen to other people (as bad things have happened to me and caused pain, obstacles, suffering). Even though, on one level, I know life is not fair in the slightest, it is something I am experiencing a lot at the moment, esp post-Covid, seeing people who've actually had their lives improved whereas I've lost a business and it triggers the woe-is-me attitude. Thanks for reading this 😷🤠

[My_House_]

Maybe I didn't hear it but what if the autonomic system is not build up *correct" and someone has multiple trauma but keeps going on (beside physical diseases and/or problems) does he/she have resilience or is that called something else?

[anatino]

I was alone since a young age. My dad was alcoholic and my mom worked 12 hrs a day. They were both absent in my life.
I used to eat alone at the table.

At least I’m thankful for having a great childhood playing all day outside.

I was slapped sometimes by my mom, although she loved me and still loves me a lot.

I started having OCD thoughts and anxiety since age 12 till present.

I also believe I have ADHD.

I had been suffering with the worst intrusive thoughts for past 20 years, right before my son was born.

I had been abused physically and mentally by narcissistic three men.

So basically, my whole life was a mess.

All these emotional, physical, metal traumas affected me.

I’m trying by the grace of God to stay sane and maybe one day I will heal.

Any recommendations how to start it?

I tried meds but didn’t help me. Few months ago I almost died from smallest dose/few weeks of klonopin so for me meds don’t answer my problem.

[M-i-k-a-e-l]

Many old souls are suffering their butts off more from just being incarnated on this earth in these times than due to trauma. Generalizations is not possible. Many old souls are also purifying enormous amounts of suffering from the collective 'waters' as a service, albeit a painful service.
My man-guess is that it is mixtures of both in various degrees.
Young souls can be very robust and happy in severe circumstances in ways many old souls hardly can.

[bluecube]

Is self regulation related to the tendency to be independent?

Does lack of self regulation cause one to rely on others more to meet one's needs?

[arthurtheartist]

Thank you, I've always wondered this. The part about religion was very interesting...has me wondering what it does to our nervous system

[deidreketchel]

Another reason why “cry it out” methods are completely unnatural and rather barbaric.