How social media makes us unsocial | Allison Graham | TEDxSMU

This talk was given at a local TEDx event, produced independently of the TED Conferences. Social Media historian Allison Graham offers a witty and ironic view of a society that feels alone together despite the hundreds of virtual connections we have online. With a global population growing up via Facebook and Twitter and a perceptible shift in human interpersonal connections, the constant need for social self-validation permeates our daily existence. This talk shares the funny and revealing insights of a life lived online and how social media is used to connect and disconnect us.

A graduate of Southern Methodist University, Allison has worked all over the country and globe bringing the written word to life on the big screen.
Allison has worked for Artisan Entertainment, Universal Studios, Paramount Pictures, Warner Brothers, New Line Cinema, 20th Century Fox, Miramax and Dreamworks SKG as Assistant Director, Production Manager, and Producer working with such titans as Jerry Bruckheimer, Michael Bay, Timur Bekmamvetov and Tim Burton.
She was one of the key business strategists behind The Blair Witch Franchise marketing campaigns, leading the team responsible for revolutionizing the way the Internet and film marketing were viewed.
Allison enjoys cooking from scratch, bicycle rides on flat terrain, conga lines and diving boards.

About TEDx, x = independently organized event In the spirit of ideas worth spreading, TEDx is a program of local, self-organized events that bring people together to share a TED-like experience. At a TEDx event, TEDTalks video and live speakers combine to spark deep discussion and connection in a small group. These local, self-organized events are branded TEDx, where x = independently organized TED event. The TED Conference provides general guidance for the TEDx program, but individual TEDx events are self-organized.* (*Subject to certain rules and regulations)

[taavixx]

I deleted all my social media a week ago. My friend asked me: 'Why would you do that? How are you going to survive?
Wow.. I literally survived like 16 years without it, why wouldn't I now? How can people be so obsessed about social media. It's not social media at all, it's just showing off to your so-called 'friends' how good and happy you are. I don't regret deleting my social media. I feel just fine and I feel like I have more free time. I spent over 8 HOURS a day just scrolling through my pages! It's insane how much time we spent on social media. I regret nothing, I'm even thinking of going back to a flip phone :)

[taravaishnav]

I am a high schooler who has deleted all my social media. I realized that my "friends" who would like and comment on my photos would never talk to me in real life. Whenever I came up to them they would always be on their phones, and, when they were not, they were complaining about how boring and sad their life is. The way that you are happy, in my opinion, is to maintain your own hobbies and have close friends whom you would trust with your life. When I was on social media, I realized that I had lost both of those aspects. I wouldn't focus on making myself happy. Instead, I would focus on seeing how I compared myself to others. I dont know how else to say this, but having that sort of aspect to life is stupid. There is nothing to be proud of when all you are doing is getting likes from fake friends. That doesn't make you happy, and it doesn't make others happy, either. I am optimistically hoping that, some day, these social media apps will die off so we can return to being like normal humans. Communicating. Working together. Making Friends. Things that used to seem so easy, but, now with social media as a distraction, have become much less so. Anxiety in high school is caused by social media, so the best thing you can do for yourself is get rid of it.

[Kickassad]

Thank you all so much for watching and sharing! I appreciate all of the comments.

[wenigdabei]

When deleting my social media 2.5 years ago, I realised two things:

1) nobody really gave a sh*t about me
2) I am much happier

[kamalkss]

how many people want to stay away from social media so they are watching this like me?

[ging]

I HAD a close friend that would text me for hours everyday. Then I noticed that she avoided being in my physical presence even for a few minutes. I let her go

[tanyalake]

This is why I miss the 80's, and 90's before the internet, and social media became so mainstream. Most people back then had integrity, and respect for self, and each other. We also had no choice but to interact with each other. I still have a home phone with a built-in answering machine.

I do have a cell phone, and a texting app on my tablet mostly for back-up. I am old school, and I hate texting. Some of the other women that I used to be friends with actually called, and had conversations over the phone. In person, it would somewhat be a totally different situation, and they would be on their cell phones.

I would bring it to their attention that it was disrespectful, and rude, and they really didn't care. I'm glad that I am no longer their friend but, that wasn't the only reason why I stopped being their friend. I got invited to hang out in Boston with some people yesterday, and most of us were not on our electronic devices.

I am somewhat guilty of doing certain things on Facebook. I try not to go on there like I used to, and when I do go on there is to play games. Real friends are people that/who are in your life in the real world. Not on social media. To a certain extent, the internet, and social media is more of a negative than a positive. Unfortunately.

[rahmansani]

One of my regrets in life
Introducing my mom and sister to facebook

[arayag]

The fact is, socializing is a part of our nature, humans are supposed to communicate that’s a part of who we are. Although when we do socialize we find people who are toxic to us, but this will happen to everyone so you can’t just be alone because you have ran into a few toxic people. Running into these people will just teach you lessons and better you, try to stay positive about everything and don’t be negative about lessons you have learned.

[emyraboo]

I'am 21, i got into social media when I was 13. It was the biggest mistake of my life. Now that i'am aware of the situation, im saying goodbye to social media.

[ScatteredPiecesPodcast]

Its crazy, the thing thats suppose to connect us makes us lose connection

[DirtyJokesFan]

I disconnected from social media over two months ago, which is not long at all, and am happier for it. Seeing people unable to toast a round of drinks, eat a meal or fussing over the perfect duckface selfie just for social media were among different reasons why I had enough. Other people find joy in social media that I can’t. Different strokes and all that.

[RKS]

Thanks for the upload! Social media is so sad. I have learned it, have found myself addicted up to a point and you must put it away. It completely keeps us from engaging the real world. Looking around, breathing the air, being in the moment, etc. Wouldn't it be something to walk into a public space and actually see people talk to each other or be reading a book.

[Vivi_dream]

I liked the comment about people posting pics from parties that those viewing might not have been invited to. Worst for that is wedding pictures: they could so easily have uploaded them to a group for guests only, yet they post to their own wall- "Here's some snaps of our amazing wedding last week (useful if you weren't given permission to actually attend)". I imagine that causes some real sadness and feelings of exclusion because it's such an important event. It's either just so lazy to post them on your own wall, or, even worse, narcissistic. If people aren't close enough to invite to your wedding, why do you want them to see your photos?

[cwdxer]

Social media is not social. It’s just a traffic sharing network.

[joshuagarden]

I don't like to generalize but the reality is that i'm seeing a lot more social incompetence and unfriendlieness on real life situations on these newer generations. For instance the last 3 interns we had in the company barely speaked to anyone, yet they were the World's most popular persons on social media. Another clear evidence is the streets of my neighbourhood that used to have a sworm of kids messing around and nowadays we hardly see anyone. Makes me feel proud of having been a 90s teen and not having any social media ever.

[KingLulzington]

I'm so glad this woman decided to give this talk. It's insane, I've been thinking this for the longest. I'm thinking about deleting all social media and just texting and calling again. It's too much for me.

[zesarsantiago]

Many of us do not realize what we miss throughout our lives, for example, to enjoy more moments with our family and friends or school, if we do not give more time to be on the cell phone and we do not pay attention to people.

[gregorygoh]

I agree with the speaker as she really shows the flaws of societal issues pertaining to social media in today’s society.

Nowadays, people see it as a social norm to check their phones regularly and cause the real talking to cease. I too as well as Allison Graham, can sense the change in societal behaviour whereby we are not as closely knit to a person as much as before the times of smart phones. As she mentioned, the number of close friends have dropped in recent years and the reasons why are way too obvious to miss.

I believe that every once in a while we should detach ourselves from social media and technology in general. Though it may not be an enormous issue right now, in the near future, it is going to be. Especially with teenagers taking one step forward in their lives and transferring the unsocial, social media habits to their children.

155 words, Gregory Goh, TB01

[RaceySpacey]

Ever since I gave up social media I have more time for myself. I was addicted. I don't want to ever go back on there!