Social media addiction - how it changes your brain | Luke Burgis | Big Think

Social media addiction - how it changes your brain, with Luke Burgis

By definition, mimetic desire means that we're adopting another person's desire as our own, usually without even realizing that we're doing it. Social media has given us millions of mimetic models that we now have to contend with. Some people have gone from having 10 mimetic models to now having thousands, and we haven't quite come to grips as a culture with what that means for our mental and emotional health.

All desire comes from us feeling like we lack something, which can bring us into a dangerous, vicious habit because there will always be another model to find. We have to choose our models wisely whether they are famous influencers across the globe or our closest friends. We also have to know when the model is inflaming us with the desire for something that's going to bring real fulfillment or whether it's going to bring a dopamine hit or allow us to fantasize about a life that we'll probably never have.

All desires are modeled for us 24 hours a day, billions of them, and we need to understand the mimetic landscape of social media, or else we'll become completely controlled by it.

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About Luke Burgis:
Luke Burgis is a veteran entrepreneur and author. He’s the Entrepreneur-in-Residence at the Ciocca Center for Principled Entrepreneurship in Washington, DC, and the founder of Fourth Wall Ventures, an incubator that invests in people, art, and technology that contribute to a healthy human ecology. Luke studied business at NYU Stern before doing graduate work in philosophy and earning an S.T.B. in Theology from the Pontifical University of the Holy Cross in Rome. He’s the author of the book Wanting: The Power of Mimetic Desire in Everyday Life, which popularized the work of cultural anthropologist René Girard. He lives with his wife, Claire, in the DC area.

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Read more of our stories on social media addiction:
Profile of a social media addict: Do you fit the description?
Psychology, Social Media Addiction, and the Element of Surprise
Tech hack: These 4 steps will make your phone less distracting

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[tonika]

Life was more beautiful and calm before social media.

[obinnayoung]

Other people are hell. Social media is unhealthy because you are literally coming in contact with so many peoples business that doesn't concern you, that can be very overwhelming.

[iriskei]

I agree with the comments below that quitting social media is one of the best decisions you could make but you should really get mature and conscious enough to realize what harm it does to you (destroyed self-esteem, high dopamine threshold, wasted time etc.) People are dependent on external validation and rely their whole worth on the opinion of other people. Hence we ended up in a society where the number of likes, followers and positive comments defines your position in the social pyramid. It's a broken bottom.

If you consider quitting social media but are afraid of the feeling of abandonment, this is something that most probably will never happen. Instead, you will have time to focus on your self-improvement, increase your attention span, be able to delay gratification, reveal some hidden potential etc. For example, sometime after quitting social media, I noticed, that reading a long book is not a problem to me anymore, I found writing extremely absorbing (and have a motivation to improve that skill!) and started to play chess, which I also find fascinating. My life has changed tremendously and I wish you the same, guys.

[wanderingfree]

I deleted all social media and i quit watching the news. Since then my anxiety is gone, i sleep like a baby, i quit clenching my teeth at night and i easily lost 20 pounds due to no more anxiety/stress eating. I threw a no cell phone BBQ with friends and family and we had an amazing time together, talking and laughing. Everyone's faces were glowing. Live your life like it was 1980's before internet and dont comply to shi*t. I love you my fellow humans! ♥️

[alexanderj.]

Social media is a waste of time. Invest in yourself, your skills, your health and never compare yourself to others. If you can do that chances are, you'll be happier than they'll ever be regardless of how much money or fame they may have.

[heyheyheyhi]

I got rid of social media because I was constantly comparing myself to others… and it was making me miserable. During therapy, I realized that there were and are many barriers in my life that prevented me from doing a certain this or that. I’m so glad that random people I knew 20 years ago know nothing of my life, who my husband is, what I do for work. YouTube is the only thing I have, I watch educational things, like this, how to communicate with people, study tips, etc but I’m anonymous here.

[sjorso]

i don’t think people really realize the impacts that social media will have AND is having on our society/generation..it’s tragic honestly

[intreoo]

Social media makes you feel like you are at a crazy party filled with everyone dressed up fabulously and acting lavishly while you are unable to grasp all of it. I've been off Instagram for some time and my life has never been in such peace in a time.

[rbnsyjy]

Been off all social media platforms for 7 years now and I've gotten an immense amount of time back, and know who my "real" friends and family are.

[Ston]

Because other peoples perception of you becomes the barometer for how you perceive yourself. You also become addicted to validation, you're exposed to the toxicity of our current society and other peoples activities are your entertainment while YOUR life/time is emptied.

[kingzuzu]

"The internet used to be a world for us to escape. Escaping from the internet feels more real"

[sergiodominguez]

I don’t have a problem with comparison, I just have an addiction to the entertainment aspect of social media. I’ll scroll for hours just trying to entertain myself mentally, even when it’s not fun anymore. It kills my motivation and mentally drains me. I do believe it’s possible to break the addiction though. I think this will be my last YouTube video for a while. ✌️

[the_Spartan_]

If you're not paying for a product then you are the product.

[johnnyrotten]

I deleted my Facebook, Instagram, Tik Tok, & Snap Chat about 3 months ago and I wish I'd done it a long time ago! It's weird but it was like removing alot of stress from life. If you're on the limb about deleting yours, do yourself a favor and delete them!

[Tobazhniazhi]

This makes me think about Plato's allegory of the cave; the shadows on the wall to the prisoners is what social media is to our perception in the 21st century. Shadow illusions of connectedness, success, friendship, adventure, etc which are actually curated, polished aspects of individuals addicted to seeking validation, attention. Reality means to dislodge ourselves from the cave. It's quite scary and extraordinary to see how social media became a source of escapism/entertainment to an actual extension of one's existence. Two years ago I quit reddit, ig, fb, and got into reading and journaling, I love having in person conversations, taking walks in nature, overall feeling alive, both intellectually and emotionally. Social media has made me egotistical, vain, and stupid, and I'm thankful to be moving forward with my life without the absurd desire to broadcast each step I take to a world of strangers.

[jeanclaudejunior]

"We live in an age when unnecessary things are our only necessities." - Oscar Wilde

[ShonenMaster]

Keanu Reeves don't use social media and look at him, so happy and humble

[maromi]

Stop the addiction to social media even if just for a few days and be free from the feelings of impending doom and anxiety always present in those platforms. Take the time to get to know yourself and do things you enjoy just for the sake of doing them, not sharing them. I recommend it to everybody.

[johnclark]

It always makes me sad whenever I'm out in public and all the zombies are looking down at their smart phones

[life_Only]

We are all addicted to social media just like any other hard drugs.
I deleted all social media 3 yrs ago after a long bout of depression and anxiety. I feel I am still in recovery and getting my life back.