Narcissists Hate Accountability

Did your toxic person hate it when you tried to hold them accountable?

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Tune in to hear the perspective of a self aware narcissist. That’s me - Ben Taylor a narcissist in recovery trying to promote awareness, healing, growth and change. I do that by these videos on here, TikTok, Instagram and Facebook.

Platforms I am on:

[ashleyg]

His lack of accountability drove me insane! He would always say that I was attacking his character when I wanted him to be accountable for things he had done. Accountability feels like an attack when you’re not ready to acknowledge how your actions harm others. He definitely destroyed my life and swears he did nothing wrong!

[simaddiction]

Hence why they focus on your reactions and not what they did to trigger said

[firstlastname]

My brain and heart has been unraveling for months after the breakup. The pain is making me sick from the anger that comes with dealing with that. He leaves the mess on my plate and I cant even talk to him. It's evil!

[officerfarva]

When I’m being gaslit, your videos are what keeps me in reality. Thank you!!

[Huntress_fx]

Came to understand that my so called "guy bestie" is actually a covert narcissist with a SEVERE CHRONIC allergy to ACCOUNTABILITY, he even says it himself and expects me to bend my boundaries to accommodate him😂😂 HILARIOUS

When i get to think of it clearly now, the subtle statements he kept making, and changing statements left and right provided it served him in that particular moment 😂
I'm glad am wiser now, blocking his ass, literally anytime IM NOT ABOUT TO SET MYSELF UP FOR TRAUMA

[NeverForgetHope]

She did this perfectly. After finding her new guy in her phone I was the bad guy for looking. Certainly not her for cheating but me for snooping. I’m just glad she’s gone.

[candicane]

This hits home. My husband always says that I’m making him out to be “the bad guy” whenever I express anything he did that was hurtful to men and/or to our child. He never apologizes bc he says he didn’t intend to hurt our feelings. He never takes accountability. His pride and ego can never take constructive feedback. He is constantly defensive and always says he never did anything wrong. Oh my. I’m married to a narcissist!

[inmyexpression]

The reason he avoids accountability is because it means he would have to admit to being wrong. Which means you have a right to be upset. He is avoiding me being upset so he doesn’t admit to anything. Instead he flips the script and makes it appear as if either I deserved it or did something to him. It’s an evil manipulative tactic.

[cathy_clarinet]

Your videos really help me stay reminded of how they are. 👍

[lauraprewitt]

I was so naive when I was younger. I never really saw the ex Narc’s ego. He was covert. Covered it well. I just thought he was very confident in who he was. And, he was able to do a lot things very well and was very talented. But when it came to being accountable for anything, it was always either“we” or it was my fault and never by himself alone.
To put it simply, a lack of accountability is just out right rebellion.

[dauglove]

Thanks. What a web of lies they pull you into!
The lack of accountability is why defining and enforcing your boundaries will expose them ( and likely trigger an extra nasty discard) . They will destroy you and the family before they take accountability and choose decency.

[y_]

Great explanation, this video is so validating this was the biggest problem I had with him. Literally this was driving me crazy. It’s extremely suffocating trying to be with someone who has no accountability.

[yourbodyandu]

It was always someone else's fault. Well...most of the time. The rest of the time he would insult himself.

[missstarrynight]

My CPTSD is NOT my parents fault, according to my parents of course. They never, ever, ever take responsibility for their decisions, but are ultra judgemental and have insanely unrealistic expectations for others. My parents believe I should undergo therapy to get rid of my CPTSD, however as long as I live with them, gosh... it's not so easy. And I can't move out, for a few valid reasons. Of course they would NEVER start a therapy for the reason mentioned in this video - guilt and shame. Mostly my mother. She doesn't apologize. She never said" Xyz is my fault." She never did anything wrong and she is only a "victim". Because, once you tell her something is her fault (and it indeed is her fault) she jumps into a full defense, raging of throwing a tantrum or a major guilt trip.

[sleepmutterer]

Don't they just. My ex hit me and left me with concussion before fleeing the scene. He blocked me so I couldn't hold him accountable for almost killing me.

I had a very lucky escape.

[majorsolutionsllc]

Excellent dialogue and explanation of a Narc’s internal dialogue.🔥🔥🔥

[karentonks]

What I've observed is even neurotypicals find accountability difficult. I'm thinking it's a defense mechanism within human being's. We all have defense mechanisms and project even if we perceive ourselves as the good ' object'. Its quite disturbing how fragmented and atomized the Western culture is going .

[themermaidtree]

I can't tell you how much I appreciate your honesty and advice in this situation. It is such a healing to hear from a narcissist what mine is really thinking and most importantly WHY. Thank you for using your healing and your wife's healing to help people.

[wendym]

With my HS sweetheart (narc) since 1983, 1 child in 1990, split in 2000 for 9mnths. We always had issues, both have childhood traumas, I was in therapy when we split, he went 1 time, I am now in therapy again and CODA. In 2006 he lost his Mom, we inherited her home, By this time he had back issues and did not work In 2008 he was diagnosed with epilepsy. Our daughter moved to Maui in 2016. We started planning a vaca there went in 2018, planned to move there together in 2020, started research and planning. From 2007-2019 all was ok (same roller coaster I was used to ), In June 2019 he had a seizure that changed him, ( he went back on Cepra after 4 yrs seizure free on CBD) that summer we had a great time fireside in our yard. By fall he got more agitated and mean and disrespectful, hurtful. I stayed and ask him to seek help and try to show him I cared. Covid hit, April 2020 I went to my sister's for Easter, he stayed home. When I returned with a plate of food for him, he proceeded to rage and yell about all kinds of BS for 45min. For the next month this went on, l have recordings because he was convincing our daughter I was crazy, telling his friends I was trying to kill him. Kept telling me to get the F out (even though he had no income, had mot worked since his mom passed, 15yrs). I was out of work for 3weeks in shutdown, we got along ok. When I went back to work it got worse. He did not speak to me from June to Aug, I would sit in the yard fireside alone. He needed dental work, so I paid (with savings from covid & HI) .He changed more, paranoid, accusing me of foolish things, bringing up my 1 big past mistake. I def think the med needed adjusting but he would not listen, he was fine. I Planned on moving alone now, secured a job and continued to plan. I got covid in Dec and my Dad passed in Jan so plans changed. He talked bad about me to cousins at my Dads memorial (a man he loved since he was 14). I continued to plan and try to talk to him and save our marriage. When I said to separate, he said no loose ends and said the divorce word. He had no $$ and I was losing myself more and more. I filed in July 2021. I moved to Maui in Sept 2021 and have been here 4 months. Our anniversaries are in a few weeks, 2/18 = 27 yrs married. 2/20= 39 yrs together. Our court date is in March. He has not spoken to me since 3 days before I flew out. I still love and miss him, I definitely ruminate and have deep trauma bonds after 40 yrs. Working on me, daily battle, am homesick for family, friends and my pets still at out family home with him. Am luck to live in paradise to heal but lots of transition and change, still trying to make friends and thrive. Thank you for your info and guidance. Be well

[spacegirl]

I only realized this after my relationship ended when I was discarded. I knew my husband was vain, and I told him as much. But I did not know just how deep that vanity was or why it was so pernicious. He tried to blame my isolation on me. He blamed his different personas on me. According to him, I was the one doing all this shit to him, so he had to be a different person away from me. I was an embarrassment to him, I was dragging him down, and I was cramping his style. I have no idea how I was supposedly doing this because I was locked away inside our apartment every single fucking day without a car, without a way to get out. For a decade, I existed. I was his private pain, the thing that could bring him shame, so I was not allowed to do anything that might jeopardize the precarious state of his cool guy image.

His image, his appearance, was an obsession for him, and I was the one who silently took the abuse for his insecurity. He turned me into such a husk so he could feel better about himself. Pure evil.