5 Dark Secrets Covert Narcissists are Terrified You'll Discover + Q&A

Have you ever felt like something was off with the narcissist in your life, but you just couldn’t put your finger on it?
Maybe you’ve noticed some behaviors that don’t quite add up, or perhaps you’ve noticed how they always seem to stir up drama, yet somehow, they come out looking like the victim, leaving you to clean up the emotional mess
Well, you’re not imagining things. Covert narcissists have some dark secrets they’re terrified of you discovering—and once you do, everything changes, so join me in this LIVEstream to dive deep into the 5 secrets covert narcissists don’t want you to know.

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Difficult Relationships Podcast

[syebethel]

1. They're deeply insecure.
2. They're not Christ-followers.
3. They're paranoid.
4. They're living a double life.
5. They're consumed with anger.

[suzismith]

I've been married to this 4 year old for 52 years. He has never taken responsibility for anything. I have bothered him, coddled him, been the parent while he has been off playing jack the lad.I have always walked in love and forgiveness because I thought that was the Christian thing to do. WRONG. There are no consequences in that, no behavior change. What I should have done was shook the sand off my shoes and gone where my message of love was received. I tried to find wise council but no one understood what was going on, I had no family or support. Thankyou Kris for you and others who make the truth available. God bless you xx❤😊

[wulfclaw]

Who else is on a healing path and completely grateful for Chris' wisdom and help in all this ?
God bless you, sister !
W

[stephanniekotalik]

I’m still married after 27 years to a man who is a covert narcissist. He is like a roommate instead of a loving husband. There has been no intimacy for years. When there was it was so superficial. He says one thing and does another frequently. He has viewed gay pornography online. He won’t admit his sexuality to me. We have 4 children. Three are triplets who just turned 18. I recently found Christ and it changed my life but sadly my husband and I do not share the same values. Thanks for your prayers, Kris. I surrender everything to the Almighty and let Him deal with my spouse in his time and according to His perfect will.

[lizh]

At the 15 mins mark had me in tears. Been with him for 9 years married 6. Had to leave last year, it became unbearable. I almost had a nervous breakdown. I couldn’t let him break me. For anyone experiencing this, I pray God releases you. This is a terrible thing to be a survivor of. My heart and mind are still healing. I have to coparent with him, so I still get yelled at from time to time but guess what, I have peace in my home with my children and I and I am no longer under his dark miserable cloud!

[brianphillips]

Thank you for the prayer! I’m a covert narcissist. After destroying two great women and relationships I finally accepted what I am. Trying my best to change! Hopefully it’s possible through God

[janeylynn]

The narcissist in my life wants to be seen as super-spiritual by the world. She hasn’t committed any of the “Big” sins, that would prove to people that she’s living a double life. But her gaslighting, manipulation, control, arrogance, disrespect, and the list goes on…. these are the so-called “sins” that can’t be proven to anyone. She acts one way with me, and another way to the rest of the world. It is so hard because everyone I know constantly praises her for being so wonderful. She is seen as the "model Christian" by Christians in public, while causing me harm in private.

[eiehe-]

For me, the covert narcissist comes across as a people pleaser. They like to be in the spotlight to get the validation that they crave for, as other narcissists but at the same time, they pretend to be humble, simple, generous, over giving. The covert narcissist will take time to build a relationship/friendship with you. During this period, they will show their admiration and their devotion by helping you with everything that is you need. They will try to convince you that you are soulmates and that they understand you deeply. At the same time, you will see them being overly altruistic, maybe helping society by engaging in charities, activism. They feed the poor, take care of the homeless. All this makes you think how lucky you are for having met such a beautiful soul. You want to be by their side for ever.

However, soon you notice how much they enjoy being invited in galas to talk about their achievements. But they don’t admit that. They still play the humble guy who doesn’t want all this. Who is beyond money, beyond fame and recognition, who wants to share the floor with other people. But their acts don’t match their words. You come to realise that this selfless soul is actually doing whatever it takes to be in the centre of attention. When you do something together be it at work or at home, they want to control everything about it. They just exerce their control in a more polite and implicit way, making you believe that your voice was heard whereas in reality you did what they wanted you to do. Covert narcissists have a smooth way of leading you on. They don’t shout, they don’t give orders. They are master actors. They convince you that you are together in this. What makes them a narcissist is that when the time comes for them to use you in order to draw certain benefits, they will do it without a second thought and you are not going to believe in your eyes.

[antheredhen]

You can NEVER give them enough love or validation.. They always need more and more... They are vampires...

[grantaugustyniak]

Living with them is like living with a roommate. Everything in their life is always a negotiation situation. They purposely will be silent, give you limited information ( so you haf to ask further on a subject ) talk about controlling. So with that said - live your life as if you don’t see them, hear them, acknowledge them in any way. I mirror them back to the max. Be unpredictable & spontaneous often. Stop doing things for them. Set your boundaries & follow through with them. Believe me - they will notice & in the meantime - you’re doing what brings you happiness & peace . The #1 thing they are afraid of - is you leaving them & possibly telling all those around them the reason why

[elainebines]

Eventually say to yourself, their opinion of me is none of my business. Let it go, don't allow them to try to control you.

[veronicadavid]

I'm married to a pastor 47yrs and in ministry 43yrs. Your descriptions is on mark. He's moving out blaming me
Got caught in adultery but denying and still preaching

[monarc]

Kris, I have been so thankful for your insight and guidance. We just completed our divorce last week, and I ended up getting the "short end of the stick." So now my struggle is learning how to put my full and complete trust in God that I will survive financially because of this. I pray for him because we are called by God to do so, and I'm trying so hard to release what I see as so unjust and know that God will make it all work out at some point. All that I have learned about a narcissist has been so helpful to know what to expect, but he goes even further than I can even comprehend. Some may not believe in bad spirits in these people, but I do without a doubt.

[savannahfishback]

I was married to one of these men for 17 years- divorced him only to have him go to my pastor and manipulated his way back to everyone I knew to convince me that he had changed into a wonderful Christian man so I married him again. On our honeymoon I discovered I had made a big mistake - again!! I made a decision to stay and pulled myself away from his control for over 20 years until I finally decided to leave. It was hard. I walked away from everything! He passed away in 2020 - I was so relieved to be free of his pain forever.

[yvonnesish]

?Thank you for opening my eyes to the situation married to a narcissistic husband for almost 20 years. I have been a Christian since 1998 and it took me years to see that the blame I was placing on myself for a failing marriage, but once I realized his narcissist behaviorisms and I refuse to allow myself to be pulled into his demonic drama anymore. Thank you for being a christian teacher and you are a God send to people in this scenerio. You have helped me tremendously.?

[DianeRobinson-lo]

My experience is 40 years of marriage 😢. Now I have my eyes opened, Praise God.

[sashmax]

You describe my mother to a T. I went no contact with her 3 yrs ago. I have never once regretted it. All of that horrible toxicity is gone from my life. She has my brother and sister, who are her flying monkeys, and I am the black sheep. Don't care. I will serve the Lord and pray for them from afar happy as ever!

[nicoleblackwell]

Never take responsibility and if they do it's twisted 😳

[marlowise]

Kris, there are no words for how grateful I am for you and your platform of communicating TRUTH, LIGHT and ENCOURAGEMENT on the topic of narcissism....under Biblical leadership and wisdom. Your videos have helped me more than you will ever know as I am just days away from mediation towards divorce. Keep doing what you're doing. You're impacting countless lives (and hearts). Thank you.

[perrydavis]

They lay a guilt trip on you and it's all about that one person.