When They Want to Split the Bill 'Evenly'

Might as well go for it all then

Co-write with Andrea Kelley & Aunt Leslie

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[petemcfeet]

I'd just ask for a separate check. If your friends can't see why, they're not your friends. Simple.

[Bri-ssgu]

I once went out to eat with a group of people, and I was on a tight budget at the time. I only ordered like $10-15 worth of food. One person ordered a kingly amount of food for himself AND appetizers for the table. I intentionally didn’t eat it because I didn’t want to be pressured into paying for it. Sure enough, the same guy who ordered all that food wanted to split the bill evenly. I suggested we all pay for our own dishes and split the birthday boy’s dish (he also ate pretty conservatively, that would’ve been like $1-2 extra per person). Everyone ended up arguing so much over how to split the bill that one person ended up offering to pay for everything and have the other guests pay them back via Cashapp. To this day I refer to that evening as the dinner from hell.

[GH-Rav]

Tips for never overpaying: have better friends

But for real, my friends will only split evenly if we all shared the food with each other. Any other time, it's separate checks. I love my friends.

[ShanaLawson]

I just pipe up “I’m too broke for that. We’re covering our own meals.” Has never gone wrong 🤷‍♀️

[teressacooks]

Years ago I was working 2nd shift and popped in on my lunch break to visit and catch up with a few friends [a husband and wife and another guy] at a Brazilian restaurant.

They had been there a while and was in the middle of their dinner, so I ordered an appetizer and a soft drink as I had to be back at work in 1hr. 45 min later asked for my bill and when I arrived at the counter to pay, the server handed me a bill for $199.00 .

When I said I asked for MY bill which was an appetizer and soda he became so irritated that he had to split the ticket and just charge for my portion.

In what world does a server think a single female who popped in for less than 45 minutes and had an appetizer would be paying the ENTIRE meal [plus alcohol] for 2 grown men and a woman???

[harmonicaveronica]

And this is why you agree ahead of time whether to split evenly or to each pay for your own meals. Conversations about money can be tough, but they're a lot harder in the moment

[ARVash]

You can also say "I didn't have much so I'm gonna take mine separate, trying to watch my spending"

[gradymoxley]

With my friends the ONLY time we split a food bill is if it’s like a pizza we’re all sharing. Other than that it’s separate checks, usually we take turns buying the table an appetizer or don’t get one. It saves so much frustration and tension

[KawiLover]

I once paid 80 on a 220 tab for 9 people because i was so embarrassed by their behavior where they were arguing trying to figure out the bill. gave the waitress my portion and left. 1st and only time i went out with that group.

[punkrockdavid]

No you just speak up. “You guys wanna split it evenly?” “Fuck no. I just ordered a salad and a coke. I’ll have mine seperate.”

[singingwolf]

"Im paying for what I had, but you guys are free to split your bills evenly."

[OnlyLoveIsWelcome]

I like how he just leveled up and matched the purchase, genius

[travismccutchan]

I always just pay separately, then I don’t feel scammed or guilty.

[marcelineabadeer]

People who order costly menu items then want to split the bill evenly like this always know who they're taking advantage of.

[caleblecrow]

I've always just said "no, I'll cover my own check". Its a perfectly reasonable boundary that only a psycho would have a issue with. I've seen someone get huffy over me saying this, I directly told them I'll happily not eat out with then again if it makes them that upset. Social situations like this only happen when you let them, people rely on you being too uncomfortable to argue. Get comfortable with arguing.

[m.theresa]

So much for ‘friends’. They knew exactly what they were doing. I’d say that he taught them a lesson. Bravo!

[ozelot]

I stopped splitting the bill after this happened to me one two many times

[kaitnishar]

This reminds me of that episode of friends, where they all go out and rachel just orders a salad, and the waiter asks 'And what would that be on the side of' and she says 'MY water' lol

[DarthRevan]

In my friend group it’s just accepted that everyone pays for their own, usually everyone sends their share to one person who pays so the staff don’t have to split the bill

[auntypc]

I would say, "Y'all are more than welcome to split the bill evenly if you like, but I'll be paying my own check." ;)