3 Things Narcissistic Parents Teach Children to Suppress & Deny

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3 Things Narcissistic Parents Teach Children to Suppress & Deny

[williamchevalier]

I've spent most of my adult life seeking validation and approval from girlfriends, friends and community. It wasn't until to years ago I started owning myself, wants, needs, and desires.

[brollicon]

This is real I learned from therapy I was trained to feel sorry for myself for not expressing anger. It then turned inward to be depression.

[corporaterobotslave]

I quit playing any of my music around any of my relatives years ago. They can't stand the fact I've got more talent than all the rest of them combined. So they crucify me for it every time I'm within ear shot. Which is why I don't go around those types any more. Jealousy suppressed creates gossiping hate-projecting self-righteous reprobates.

[theofficialnikkisnews]

I was raised by healthy parents, but you described my narcissistic MIL perfectly.

[triffidkiller]

Thank you for explaining it all so clearly and concisely. My whole life has been controlled by the fear of my mother's narcissistic rage. The negative patterns have had their effects years after her death. Narcissistic control should be taught in schools.

[ladennayoung]

Right. Now that I'm older, and know what's going on, and understand/see my mom for who she really is. If I mention anything about her. People will generally act as if I'm wrong, because she have revealed to them, that she's just this wonderful, happy, go lucky person. Meanwhile I look like the bitter, anger, resentful, miserable, jealous, unforgiving, crazy, selfish one, if you will. They don't say it, but I sense it.

[leegorringe]

I was very fast at computer writing. So fast that I actually won a prize. A brand new laptop.
Extatic with joy I showed my father who angrily declared
'I guess that's the only use of the piano lessons that I paid for.
He was a musician and had insisted I would become one too.
Since then I have learnt that narcissistic parents view their children as extention of themselves.
That man totally destroyed me in so many ways.

[deborahpetith]

We were never allowed any emotions, seen but not heard. Speak only when spoken to, do as your told immediately. I was beaten regularly for different reasons but most of the time I didn't understand why. If I received a present that the favored daughter liked it was given to her, if I were to object I was punished. I would wear marks on my legs at school from a beating, I was told it was to show everyone what a bad kid I was. I had 3 really bad relationships and 7 kids and everything is always my fault. I'm now 60 yrs old and it's MY time to be me and I don't care what anyone thinks. I don't deliberately hurt ANYONE and I won't let them hurt me. Blessed be.♥️♥️♥️

[berlinetta____]

Thanks Michele. Yes, my childhood was like:

- No anger (especially not at them) - YOU MUST BE HAPPY or at least sad toward the people my mother was sad toward (I either numb or petrified of everyone and everything in my life)
- You are not allowed to be artistic - YOU MUST BE SCIENTIFIC LIKE FATHER (I was musical and creative)
- Boundaries = you don't love me

I gave up and walked away. It is clear no-one loved me let alone liked me.

[ladennayoung]

An ex did me like that when it came to me singing. At the time I had no idea what narcissistic personality disorder was, or a covert narcissist was. I heard the term narcissist before, but most people teach it incorrectly.

[marcellofunhouse]

I've suppressed my emotions ever since I started being verbally abused by my dad still am

[ladennayoung]

OMG. I honestly believe that is what the Holy Spirit was trying to tell me about narcissistic personality disorder in regards to that disorder that you mentioned. He was trying to tell me that through different movies, and I honestly recently asked Him (because He brought those movies that I watched a couple of years ago back to my remembrance recently). What He was trying to show me in those movies, because I didn't fully/really grasp it. But I assumed that He was trying to show me something, because my mother have NPD. And she generally function just like those people. And right as you were saying it, the Holy Spirit revealed it to me. I was/am like wow. The Holy Spirit/the Lord absolutely NEVER CEASE TO AMAZE ME. BECAUSE I KEPT FEELING AS THOUGH HE WAS LEADING ME TO WATCH THIS. ALTHOUGH THE TITLE SEEMED TO BE SOMETHING THAT I NEEDED TO HEAR AND PF SOMETHING INTEREST TO ME. I HONESTLY DIDN'T KNOW THIS IS WHAT HE WAS GOING TO MENTION TO ME/REVEAL TO ME THROUGH THIS MESSAGE. GLORY BE TO GOD. THANK YOU LORD, JESUS, FOR ALL THAT YOU HAVE DONE.

[ellasladek]

Yes we have the ability to love intensely, BUT, it’s wasted on these sick narcissistic people, so we never benefit from a healthy relationship, as long as we are ruined by these sick people

[izawaniek]

This is all so very true. Everysingle thing. If we suppress pain, then anger we are trained to be and function like robots and live parents and then people pleasing. It is a recipie for a disaster in life and relationships. It is a life of deceving ourselves and others! Thank you!

[peanutsmumwide]

You are the first person to describe my Mother she did all 3 to me. I am 64 years old and I am finally my authentic self. I come from a family of drinkers. Both sides of the family I am the only one in my family of 5 that didn’t become a drinker I am female and the youngest. Put up with drunks is not fun at 8. Thank you so much I will be sure to watch for your next show. I find since learning to love 💕 myself it makes the rest of the work easier to learn your doing for you, not to you.

[kimberlymccracken]

It's so interesting how you used the singing example. Everyone loved my voice and my Dad would say "What did you do with the money your Mom gave you for singing lessons?" He said my Mom because he never paid for a darn thing. 🤷‍♀️

[GMacII]

Shoutout to you Michelle…you saved my life. God bless you.

[luvyatubers]

#2 hurt. My muther was jealous of me. She was such an odd one. I could write a book except everyone will want to know what happened to her as a child. Idk. She is dead. She played like she was perfect but did slip out some ugly info now and then about her younger years. I hate her and how I need these vids to figure myself out

[chilloften]

It’s so sad. I hope the world can soon be better parents, so destructive to relationship.

[moscowcowboy_]

I drove my wife crazy constantly asking, "Am I a good boy? I'm a good boy, right?" Next thing I would ask her is "you are not angry, are you? please don't be angry", I was accused of being mentally ill, bipolar, or having an anger problem for complaining about my narc step dad and narc survivor-turned-narc mother's behavior. I repressed my anger so much in a hostile job that I endured bullying for 3 years and ended up in hospital with hashimoto's, or hypothyroidism, I have to take a pill every day for the rest of my life. My mom endured the narc husband for 40 years and now she is a narc too. I was so good at everything as a kid, but as an adult, my closet is full of my art stuff, trombone, I never draw, sing, or play music, hardly listen to it, unless its heavy metal at the gym. I was, and still am, so much better at everything than my narc step dad, I can see why I have been attacked all my life. I am better and he hates me for it. I competed in a karate tournament and won first place and even beat 20 people in a row fighting, my folks could have cared less and didn't want to attend. It was one of the proudest moments in my life and I was alone. I have never finished my black belt, I am very close, but never have, almost like I don't think I deserve it. Now as an adult working from home in sales, I get anxiety if I don't hear from my boss on a regular basis with only positive feedback, negative feedback sends me into a worse case scenario about anything. It's ridiculous, I am sick of it.