Shame and Trauma

How many times a day does your shame get triggered? Are you aware of what triggers your shame? What is your immediate emotional response when someone rolls their eyes during a conversation with you?

When we don’t like to feel shame we will often cover up the feeling of shame with a secondary emotion: anger.
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#healthy #healing #relationships #mentalhealth #complextrauma #addictionrecovery #addiction #complextraumarecovery #cbt #timfletcher #fy #fyp #mentalhealthawareness #shame #emotionalresponse #anger #shorts

[patriciaobrien]

Anger is the bodyguard for so many emotions 😕

[TheDavveponken]

People always forget that anger is a natural defense when being violated...

[sundipowellrn]

Shame causes me to immediately look internally to evaluate what I need to work on.

Shame is usually a feeling one gets when they did something unbecoming or wrong.

People who do not want to evolve use anger to avoid their own work.

[Clevelandsteamer]

The irony is most abusers don’t have the will to look inside and do the work. They are operating from their own wounds and don’t care who the hurt

[sanmic]

Spent most of my around controlling people. Anger hides hurt, and fear too. I have just recently learned how to identify what is behind my anger I understand how to feel whatever it is and let it go

[stevenkovler]

This is what ruined my first marriage. After 26 years me and the mother of my children. My college sweetheart divorced. I think it was shame and related depression that made
Me controlling and angry.
My second marriage was to an abusive narcissist that destroyed and bankrupted me. I had met so many perfect woman and broke up with them . I know believe I subconsciously thought I was not good enough for them. One told me a few months ago that she had been in love with me and never understood why I ended it, just to end up destroying the last 1/3 of my life marrying a demon .

[lynntroupe]

I've felt that...and anger has been a big problem in my life. Never knew it stems from the shame. I'm trying to let that go. Only with the help of Christ.. amen.

[maxsiehier]

My narcissistic brother can only consciously access anger. If he's the butt of the joke, anger. If he falls, anger. If you say no to him, anger. And so on. But behind that is a lot of shame. And a lot of self loathing. And fear. But those are "weak" emotions. Anger is "powerful". So he goes for that one, every single time.

[leewis]

Hes right, anger and hatred feel much better than despair

[randybaker]

You feel anger because it’s higher on the emotional (vibrational) scale and it feels better than shame.

[petrakolenakova]

I first experienced strong anger when my single mom started dating a guy and he would try to dominate me and my brother, i was only 13 but i was ready to fight him ...I was not going to let him to start rulling our world, he was so rude! Then later on i would feel extreme angry when my boyfriend would want to controll me ...I mean out of control anger - the whole thing is very peculiar because for the rest of the time i am a very patient, relaxed and chilled person, even with my kids, super cool....

[brendarewan]

I’m ashamed of my reaction to their trigger so now I’m angry at myself and them.

[richardjohnson]

I have learned to laugh and walk away... that channels the anger into something neutral.

[Jireh_woolridge]

(Sigh) I was married to a woman like this. Very insecure and envious of anything or anyone who she perceived as " doing better, prettier or smarter" just to name a few.

[EpiphanysFaithPolitics]

What is feeling stupid? I have had this thought but being a professional counselor I recognize "stupid" isnt a feeling/emotion its a belief. So what are the real feelings behind feeling "stupid"? Feeling stupid most likely means you feel shame mixed with embarrassment, helplessness, powerlessness, loneliness & confusion feelings triggered by emotional flashbacks to a history of being belittled for your intelligence level/stage of development or lack there of. Its a combination of either all those feelings, or one or more of them. In the moment you oercieve a similar situation you flashback emotionally to when you first felt this in early childhood. An emotional flashback lacks the visual content of a typical flashback.

Also Please remember that believing anyone can make you feel something is the quickest way to give them power & control and fall into codependency. We all are responsible for our own feelings. Your beliefs & perceptions (along with brain chemical, biological components) have more control over your emotions, feelings or mood than any person ever could.

[jennifermoody]

HURT PEOPLE, HURT PEOPLE, WHEN THEY DON'T GET THE NECESSARY HEALING TO BREAK THE CHAINS OF PAIN THAT KEEPS THEM IMPRISONED BY THE HURT FROM THEIR PAST.. IF WE'RE NOT ABLE OR WILLING TO FEEL OUR HURT, ACCEPT THAT WE HURT AND DO WHAT IT TAKES TO EFFECTIVELY DEAL WITH THAT HURT, THEN WE CAN'T HEAL THE HURT.. ALL OF WHICH LEADS TO A REPETITIVE CYCLE OF HURT THAT WE END UP BEING RESPONSIBLE FOR CAUSING WITHIN THE LIVES OF OTHERS.. THERE'S NO SHAME OR WEAKNESS IN ADDRESSING YOUR HURT AND DOING WHAT IT TAKES TO HEAL IT, BUT BY REFUSING TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR OWN PERSONAL HEALING, YOU ARE ONLY SETTING YOURSELF, AND EVERYONE ELSE WHO CARES ABOUT YOU, UP FOR MORE OF THAT SAME HURT THAT REMAINS UNHEALED WITHIN YOU..

[mcdijkhuizen]

After shame i feel loss and grief. What is that about?

[Ghost-ndup]

But what you sow you also reap, pain and sorrow

[Carla-vobs]

Sometimes...yes...not very comm9n for me personwlly

[debbiekling]

I was explaining something to my husband he rolled his eyes, I rolled mine back is that the same