How to argue with a Narcissist and WIN!

How to beat a Narcissist? We have to learn how to argue with a Narcissist and not allow them to control us and bait us into a fight anymore.
#narcissism #conflictresolution #marriageadvice

[seedygirl]

I got a tattoo of a worm on a hook to remind me not to take the bait. I got very good at saying to myself "this is not my problem."

[EugeniaPortobello]

"what's really hard for abuse victims to recognize when they're being abused" 👌

[MellyMae]

I'm married to somebody with NPD traits. They love yelling at you in the car because you're trapped for the duration of the ride. I have spent years perfecting coping mechanisms (grey rock, DEEP method). I don't take the bait - ever. I used to, because you're trying to defend yourself or protect yourself from their verbal abuse, but I learned it was a loosing game. So now he spews his anger and insecurities at me, and I'm basically 'mm-hmm' as a response. I don't agree/don't take the bait, and only acknowledge that he's even talking by just making a noise. Yet amazingly, when there's an audience around, he's literally singing/dancing/putting on a show to show people what a happy-go-lucky guy he is, usually right after he's unloaded his venom on me. They are so damaged, it's frightening.

[reloadira]

"You are valuable, worthy of kindness, love and consideration." You're not too much, you are not a burden".

[nicolaholland]

Be careful who you reach out to. My suggestion is stay away from totally unqualified spiritual leaders. And DO NOT agree to marriage counselling. It is not a marriage problem, it is a character or abuse problem which is completely different. My reaching out was foolish and I got burned.

My gray rocking includes moving into another room and no intimacy, no kissing goodby or hello, I change in the bathroom. He is a complete stranger to me now that I see his cold heart by holding my first ever boundary over one issue and seeing his response - a complete inability to acknowledge guilt or show remorse or even try to discuss it. Then throw in his love bombing and discarding cycles, all on spectacular display.

He is a charmer and has charmed our pastor and many other churches. I don't have many options but grey rocking has given me some sense of dignity and self respect in all of this.

[hopeeternal]

Finally someone who puts the spotlight on the victim instead of the abuser!! Amen.

[MCCRTHY]

I came here to say this is a trick question. Their is no winning. But I’m not apologizing anymore for my feelings and for being the last on his list.
These videos have given me a sort of strength I honestly didn’t have for years.
Thank you.

[megancranford]

Narcissists bait you… in society everywhere… it’s just so hard not to take the bait!

[missdirectedawakening]

Jimmy you're talking directly to me... I'm laying here in a shelter wondering how I got here. I can't thank you enough. I am fighting to be loved and you're so incredibly helpful!! Thank you, from the bottom of my heart ❤ Thank you 🙏🏼

[amberklein]

The only time I'd "win" a narcissist argument is when I'd mirror back to him what he was saying as a question.
Example 1: "Look what you made me do.."
"I made you? I made you smash your gift while I was on the other side of the house? Hm. How could a weak little woman like me make you do anything?"
Example 2: "I can't afford to pay for the car insurance on your vehicle."
"We cant afford to pay the car insurance we've been paying for over a decade?"
"Yeah. I can only afford to pay for my cars. You need to get money to pay for yours."
"You can afford to insure TWO cars for yourself, but can't afford insurance on ONE car for me? How many cars can you drive at once?"
DO NOT try this. Even though you'll "win" the arguments, the narcissist will make you pay for it a hundred fold, physically or otherwise. Pick your battles, and get out as soon as you can.

[JIF]

The narcissist I so happily divorced told me he loved to see me cry after he picked an argument because it made him feel loved when he saw me suffering! There is no arguing or making a narcissist understand pain or sadness or hurt or anything because all they care about is themselves. He went on to a second marriage. No different. No better.

[mariamhadalittlechannel]

Trust me, the voice screaming in your head, 'this is the person who loves you?', cannot be ignored.

[Taybae]

You make me feel like I’m talking to my protective big brother that only wants what’s best for me. Thank you ❤

[faith.]

This also happens in the work place. I had an HR VP, have a narcissistic tantrum because I would not engage in her interrogation. This company I worked was so wacked and used to abuse people with threats of firing them. I didn't engage, I had overcome an abusive narcissistic partner, I do not play that game. So after she interrogated me, I said at this point it's best if I gather my things and we partways. She did not expect that and started yelling "I'm trying to help you" repeatedly and uncontrollably, so I walked out lol. Totally blew her mind and she couldn't believe I did not react or get triggered. In my mind I was like I know your type, you get none of me. GOD always provides, and he sure did.💜💙

[zephyr]

"You're lovable, you're not a burden."
I'm sobbing rn. I needed to watch this.

[maryolguin]

I found out the hard way that some people respond to grey rocking with screaming and hitting. Didn’t matter what I’d say or didn’t say, it’d always come down to them wanting an excuse to hurt me b/c they didn’t know how to self-regulate.

[Dispatern]

I had a few horrible years as a teenager at home with a narcissistic single parent and no siblings. After I moved away for uni the parent didn't change (no surprise as narcissists don't change) so I broke off the contact completely and that's how it's been for a couple of years now. Moving far away and breaking off the contact is the ONLY way to save yourself from a narcissist.

[ask.seek.find.]

Most important response I've ever learned: "You may be right..." Works every time.

[sarahwagland]

On the plus side I'm getting good at spotting abuse and I'm not longer afraid to call it out. I'm really liking the new me. The abusive people around me don't like it but that's their problem. I make my boundaries very clear and no one steps over them ever again.

[charchar]

Divorce them and then privately record them. Then after a long rant let them know you’re recording. 😂 They get real quiet then.