6 signs YOU are silent screaming...

Are you silent screaming in life? What exactly is a silent scream? Essentially silent screaming happens when we are in so much physical and emotional pain that we don't know exactly how to communicate it. But this type of non communication can cause us more turmoil, confusion and frustration in life. We may often feel like no one is listening or can hear us. Or we may ask how do we communicate better or communicate at all. The truth is silent screaming is not a form of effective communication, so if you're looking for ways to speak up for yourself at work or in meetings or in your relationships, this will be helpful for you. As we know communication is vital in establishing and maintaining healthy relationships in life.

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[TheDutchessOfCornville]

I am absolutely guilty of over sharing…. And then I’m absolutely mortified when I realize that no one actually cares or wants to hear my rambling over shares.

[arthurpenfield]

Nobody cares. That's why I'm silent. No point in saying anything because everyone is so caught up in their own life.

[sweariefaerie]

So I became disabled at age 6. That was back in 93. I sincerely don't ever remember family helping me without making me feel like an inconvenience. I'm currently at the point where just the thought of directly asking for help makes me feel worthless.

[CodeDusq]

That is so me right now, I try to write down my pain on a journal, but the pain is like a tangled mess of emotions to where it won’t translate into words easily. It’s so hard to explain it to others, thinking that my struggles are too unique or too much for others to comprehend. It’s really tough when you feel like you’re carrying this weight alone.

[sobersaber]

Im currently going through a very difficult time, i literally have no friends, im beyond isolated. I found myself seeking attention at work, wanting my colleagues to check up on me, thinking of scenarios (going as far as purposely not eating so ill faint) just so i could be feeled bad about. I was mortified for my actions watching ur video, and it made me realise that i need to do something about this. Thank you for this

[BlueJayXO]

No one ever fought in front of you growing up?! This is a foreign concept to me. I had just the opposite. Everything spoken was yelled. I grew up almost immune to anything my family screamed but if anyone outside the family criticized or yelled at me in the slightest I would crumble and sob uncontrollably. I couldn't even talk to explain my side. I would shut down. It took a long time but I finally am able to stand up for myself without getting upset. My job really helped me learn to deal over the years. I had to stand up for myself against certain toxic people at work and instead of getting sad, I had to learn to express myself and stand up to the bully. It's such a freeing feeling.

[anonymousanonymous]

These points are good, and I did not know about the concept of "silent screaming." Just to add that sometimes people may isolate because they want to signal they are struggling, but also sometimes socializing while struggling can be exhausting, or like you have to put on a fake "happy face, " which also kind of plays into the earlier points about people not knowing how to share that they are angry or upset.

[h.nicolejorgensen]

Agree. Nobody cares so I don’t bother. Emotions are not safe in society. When I tried to tell people when I was depressed or having thoughts of suicide. They didn’t know how to react and sort of brushed it off as being overly dramatic. My Mother can’t handle emotions and neither can society.

[Flutistno]

This video hurts me in my heart. My childhood was emotionally abusive. I remember being yelled at for crying. I had "stop crying or I'll give you something to cry about" parents. I have never in my life heard my dad apologize to my mom for anything. No de-escalation, ever. His temper was horrid. Now, she protects him from having a clue how this hurt me, because she thinks that he's too fragile to handle it, and, in her mind, my suffering is acceptable, but his is not. My family are kings and queens of gaslighting, saying so many of the phrases contained in the literal definition of it. I'm just... sad. I've given up. After being attacked harshly by my mom and brother last time I said anything, I just can't speak my mind anymore. I'll just suffer for the rest of my life in order to keep my dad happy. It's what I'm expected to do....

[siennaprice]

I think my ways of silent screaming are self aggression and bottling up my emotions and ignoring them, hoping they will magically go away. I was shamed for expressing myself. But if I didn’t truly express myself, I was still shamed.

[laurenl]

Recovering people pleaser due to past trauma and isolation due to being told growing up “don’t let that bother you/get to you”, etc. been going to therapy since September last year. ❤ this video. Haven’t heard it called silent screaming, but makes sense.

[memmovies]

I’ve flat out told people I need help and they don’t care.

[Me-eiyd]

"Keep calm and carry on." "You need to control your emotions" Knowing my parents are upset or mad at eachother, but they disappear into their bedroom for an hour then come out being happy and great again. How did that happen? Idk. My parents are still together after 40 years, though I was shown that emotions are to be hidden and controlled, not expressed.

[bradyshannon]

I get it now, to understand if you overshare, consider if the other person reciprocates at a similar level, if not, just stick to small talk or no talk. This is great to understand!!

[JB-pkbz]

3. Isolating Ourselves. I can see your point for persistent behavior. In contrast, I have experience with suicidal family and friends. They tend to self-isolate, out of character. I got one chance to intervene, each. For an abrupt, odd alteration of mood and behavior, I ask for us to consider erring on the side of caution. Our act might be a life-line.

[StarBitt]

I tagged this video because pretty much all of that is me, and I need to address this in counseling - plus just read it over and over and journal about how I use all of these to try to get attention, feel heard. In my family, the interactions were totally unhealthy. If people were angry, they went to separate rooms and slammed doors then came out an hour later and the anger was gone - I was very much the lost child. I needed to express my feelings and get support but no one was there. I am 63 and still feel this every day. My family of origin are all gone now…but now it is an issue with my husband…thanks for the video. Lots to think about and work through.❤

[fewd]

Another form of silence screaming is humming your thoughts out loud because you have no voice and you're not allowed to express your negative feelings in any way

[kit]

Thank you, Kati. I have been saying to myself for decades, "I'm screaming as loud as I can." Someone, please, think I am worthy enough to hear me, and then love and support me.
Other than picking fights, I can honestly say, to one degree or another, I am guilty of all of these behaviors, regretfully. Thank you so very much for pointing these issues out.

[niteycat]

I just want to know why I am so triggered by passive aggression? If someone is being passive aggressive I just lose my cool and start to scream at the person.

[kylapollard]

I find I do a lot of these because I wasn’t able to express my emotions growing up. Being silent is key. Being silent means everyone else is happy and you’re not a burden. If you’re not happy, go and hide away until you are or at least fake it.
I’m currently working on this in therapy, feel my emotions, express them and then what to do with them after that. I still can’t show or express my emotions to the people around me and I can’t show them to my therapist.
I’ve always gotten somewhere with silently screaming, as unhealthy as it is. Now to unlearn that and do it in a healthy way.