5 Ways Narcissists Are Brought Down By Self Indulgence

A defining feature of narcissism is entitlement. Narcissists can rationalize why it's ok to prioritize indulgences, but they fail to realize that ultimately it makes them less and less effective in life. Psychotherapist Dr. Les Carter discusses how narcissist's indulgences bring them down, and how you can learn life lessons from their mannerisms.

Dr. Les Carter is a best selling author and therapist who lives in Dallas, Tx. In the past 39 years he has conducted over 60,000 counseling sessions and many workshops and seminars.

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[SergioLeonardoCornejo]

Based on my interaction with a narcissist, I noticed they tend to lack foresight and their actions are always based on short term, thinking little to nothing in long term impact.

[lauravlachos]

In short they’re takers; everything comes at a price. I wish all victims peace.

[trishayamada]

I can be selfish, but I feel bad while being selfish. What I’ve had to learn is there is a difference between being selfish and self care.

[carolloraine]

If at all possible, go NO CONTACT!
Love yourself and enjoy the simple things.
Walking in Nature does it for me!! 😎
LOVE to EVERYONE!!

[terrijamison]

"Whatsoever things are right, good and pure...think on those things "

[Miss_Wonderful]

And, once their self-indulgence brings them down, they will blame their downfall on everybody but themselves 😑

[eyrctut]

Please enjoy SOMETHING. If the narcs in your life haven’t destroyed, or caused you to destroy every thing enjoyable in your life, please enjoy something. If you enjoy anything, please just enjoy it without giving your narc a clue that it matters to you. Like your marriage, or food, or just anything that makes life bearable. Enjoy something.

[twopurringcats]

This is so true. My narcisstic parents borrowed a large amount of money from friends and not only bought a house that is too expensive for them but also leased a brand new car. Now they cannot afford anything. They have always spent money wildly but don't have jobs to support those extravagant habits anymore. Furthermore they blocked calls from the friends they borrowed from (the people called me, worried..old friends from way back). In other words, they have spent themselves into ruin and am now wallowing in debt and self pity. They never listened when told to be careful with money. They feel too "special". Well, the daughter they laughed at for being poor (me) is financially ok as they struggle and try to skim money off of people (including me..nope). I am no contact now. It just was too toxic to be around people who only look at me like a pawn and nothing else. They cannot use me. And their friends are demoralized..and pulling away. Old narcs are bitter, desperate and lonely people.

[myfuturepuglife]

That's exactly what I was doing and didn't really understand why! I get excited when I learn something new about the hell I've experienced. Being set free one video at a time!

[andreariegler]

My covert husband is a "creature of habit" to his own self-indulgences. I can almost set my watch by his selfish habits. He has taught me that there is a world of difference between beneficial self-care and detrimental self-indulgence. I have learned to use his selfishness to my benefit, as it has allowed me to learn to set better boundaries to ensure my own self-care.

[janetstonerook]

I was a giver and several folks in my extended family worked me over pretty good over the years. Finally I reached the no contact decision. It was just so exhausting and emotionally and financially depleting before I made them go away. They are now colluding to smear me but it doesn't matter. I was prepared for that! I like that narcs think other people are dumb! They have no idea what I know about them!

[carieyounginsurance]

My X’s indulgences- shopping constantly, planning trips CONSTANTLY, drinking wine, FOOD!! I remember when I realized how immature he was with everything...no discipline

[florydory]

Thank you, Dr. C for your thoughtful words.

I wanted to add that "Do you know who I am?" can also be flipped by a narcissist to "Who do you think you are?" They can then proceed to tell you exactly who they think you are (and it isn't much).

I am so grateful for your message today. I will try to live my life aligned with integrity, respect, and goodness.

[heyfunny]

I have noticed a common thread of self-indulgent behavior in the form of self-pity. It's so manipulative and destructive. It seems to go hand in hand with their other entitled habits, like it justifies their behavior somehow.

[juneburns]

We just have to get above their childish behaviour ! Don't respond ..because there is a pattern that is so predictable it actually becomes boring !! Selfish ? It's off the scale

[amanitamuscaria]

With my "vulnerable narc" ex, it was credit cards (on things to enhance their personal image....not things for the home) and alcohol to an extent. The sad part is, after divorce, i had to pay half of all the debts, regardless of who spent the money, or on what. It ruined me, financially and emotionally to be dumped by this individual, when I'd spent 2 decades being a servant/mother/babtsitter.
Never again.

[REJ]

I’ve just had an old friend come to stay with me for a week, and she brought her 22 year old daughter with her. Hadn’t seen either of them in 10 years because they live overseas. I couldn’t work out whether it was immaturity, self indulgence or a mixture of both, but her daughter tested my boundary setting to its limits. The dynamics between mother and daughter was something to behold - totally enmeshed with one another and both unable to relate to one another in a healthy way. I’ve had tantrums (from both of them), manipulation (I didn’t realise I’d been manipulated until after the event!) and self indulgent behaviours for 7 days!!!!

They left a few days ago and it’s taken a while for me to recover because I felt exhausted by the experience.

I am happy to report that I’m now sitting in the glorious silence of my comfortable home 🏡 reflecting on how fortunate that my friend doesn’t live close by. Their behaviours reminded me of the expression “oh what a tangled web we weave when we practice to deceive.”

Time to put the kettle on for a well deserved (slightly self indulgent) cup of tea ☕️

Thank you 🙏 for another insightful video.

[suzanvaughn]

I feel so alone & can’t do this anymore. Your voice helps, thank you for that.

[MrChrisRP]

My girlfriend of 1.5 years is a very famous musician, and I am intelligent, but I hadn't too much experience dealing with narcissism because I think in the past I just naturally shut these people out before I could be bothered by them. Dr. Carter, you are by far the best resource in this whole thing and I want to sincerely thank you for that, greatly. You have done extremely well for me personally, if not her. Thank you.

[mountainmommarealestate]

Let me guess, overeating, alcohol/drug addiction, overspending, infidelity...