Ever been in a casual French chat and felt the “vous” form too formal? #shorts

Here's how to gracefully make the transition to “tu”:

1️⃣ « Est-ce qu'on peut utiliser “tu” ? »
2️⃣ Using the verb “tutoyer”: "« Est-ce qu'on peut se tutoyer ? »
3️⃣ Or if you want to go the next level: "« Est-ce que ça vous dérange qu'on se tutoie ? »

How do you normally change from “vous” to “tu”?

Share your experiences comments down below!

#ProgresPasPerfection #FrenchInPlainSight #everydayfrench

[lewjames]

One thing French people seem to completely forget is that, for us strangers, using either vous or tu means having to completely change the verb conjugations. It's almost like having to learn one and half languages!

[philenglish]

Every time I think of the verb tutoyer I think of a story about Charles de Gaulle. I can't remember exactly but a close colleague asks him if, after years of working together, they can use Tu and his response is "si vous en voulez."

[willo]

Hi Alex, thank you for this short, it's well timed for me.

As someone who grew up in Northern England where peiple will often call strangers 'mate' or 'love' with a friendly optimism, I've always found this formality the most bizarre aspect of French conversation and the hardest to implement in the few occasions I've spoken French with another person.

May I ask, in France do people often ask permission or do they just naturally switch to Tu when they feel conversation has become friendly enough and trust that the other person feels the same way? And do you ever find that certain demographics (maybe younger or more city-based?) will use Tu out the gate, a bit like how we say "mate" in England?

[fabricejaouen]

En cinquante ans, je n'ai jamais entendu personne employer l'expression "utiliser tu".

[Dragantraces]

I love French truly I do, my very earliest, fondest memories care of speaking French and German with my father. French is very dear to me.

But...

The whole formal/informal, T-V distinction, in any language, seems entirely pointless and honestly painfully antiquated.
Considering that French society has become, in many ways, a fairly class-free society, (well at least there is no more aristocracy, and democracy is valued) it is hard to comprehend the point of maintaining what seems, to me anyway, a means of maintaining the social superiority of some, but only kind of on the sly

I mean, it is not insulting to call people who you like "tu" so it's really not insulting, and if it is not an insult then it seems to me that the only likely reason to continue the tu/vous division is to maintain an artificial superior/inferior dichotomy. It certainly isn't about how well two people know each other, or children would address one another formally until their relationship qualified as close enough to be informal. If it is about respect, how does the way deities are addressed fit in? Funny that in English, we have dropped the informal and use "you" exclusively, and this has resulted it people thinking that thee/thou/thy/thine are more formal. (Probably stems from the use of the informal when addressing the Biblical deity.)

Then again, I am one of those crazy sorts of people who doesn't think it impolite to not call restaurant or other "sir" or "madame." If it is meant as a sign of respect, it should go both ways...unless the intent is to be respectful in only one direction, eh? Is it honestly disrespectful to address anyone "informally"? It isn't so in languages that don't use, or no longer use, this kind of convention.

Just something to think about...