Is Casual Sex Bad For You? | Dr. Zhana Vrangalova | TEDxCollegeofWilliam&Mary

Casual sex has long been portrayed as a societal sin. Dr. Vrangalova, a renowned sex researcher, weighs in on the topic.

Zhana Vrangalova is a sex researcher who studies how various expressions of sexuality (particularly casual sex, promiscuity, and nonheterosexuality) are related to psychological health and wellbeing. She holds a Ph.D. in Developmental Psychology from Cornell University. She is currently an adjunct instructor at New York University

[hoodpriestessphilosophy]

I think it rarely ends up actually being fulfilling . In general it's probably fine if done respectfully on both ends, but I despise that hookup culture is somehow the new ideal. I think there is beauty in waiting, in creating self love, in caring who you sleep with. I think when you truly love yourself, you don't want to share that with just anyone.

[Jqzd]

She should do a long term study on how many got stds, unwanted pregnancies, abortions or got into dangerous situations. Forward 15 years ahead, compare how many end up in divorce or never had a serious relationship and compare it with the ones that did not go casual.

[WomenofHighValue]

I’m very happy to learn that 95% of the comments below are negative.

It brings me hope that the world is indeed becoming a better place.

[jeffreysheldrake]

Always left me feeling empty and wanting a more proper relationship

[tonyrossi]

My experience as a counselor for the last 10 years is completely opposed to casual sex. It is extremely destructive for married couples.

[dbalexan]

I felt used & unwanted like a piece of toilet tissue 🧻 because I knew “for a fact” this man didn’t give a damn about me or my well-being.
They got to enjoy access to my body, and place me at the end of a long list of other casual encounters.
And I hate myself for allowing someone to treat me as if I’m unworthy of more…all because of loneliness.

[kaimnd]

“Your physical decisions are inextricably tied to your emotional wellbeing”

[winstonlesliejorr]

The comments section is a better Ted talk than the actual talk.

[bigsmoke]

First time seeing the comment section not agreeing with a particular ted talk

[quendelf]

Would you let a stranger off the street into your house?
No?
Would you let a stranger look in your handbag?
No?
Would you let a stranger drive your car?
No?
Then why the heck would you let a stranger into your pants!?
Lol, that's just my opinion.

[allanjoarder]

"sex releases those hormones of love for your partner" - if you try to suppress those feelings, one day you will be 60 y/o end up all alone, because nobody loves you or looks at you that way. As a man, I am strongly against casual sex.

[sidecar]

Cookies are great but not really the basis of a nourishing diet.

[casimira]

I'm with the person that I love and I regret every single person I slept with before him. I used to sleep around before I met him. I used to think like she did. but I can tell you she is wrong. I was using it as a coping mechanism for my mental illness. I wanted to numb my emotional pain. I have friends that sleep around and they do it to numb the pain of not being able to move on from the person they truly wish to be with and have lost faith in men. I used to be that person. now, I found a man that made me realize what true love is. what I have now is so much better than shallow sleeping around. she makes the cons sound minimal but they leave deep scars. I hope nobody actual listens to this woman. just because somebody says they did a "study" does not mean they are a scientist.

[datanon]

Man people REALLY don't like being told that being irresponsible is bad.

[sorchaleary]

I love the way she adds 'STIs and unwanted pregnancies...' in together the end of the disadvantages just like they're no big deal or that they don't affect that side of the argument significantly

[yesreneau]

I never like hearing "find a rotation of partners" as a solution to not getting too overly attached to people. It always seems like that solution has the potential to hurt so many feelings of the people involved.

[lemonsys]

This addressed people's enjoyment of an isolated sexual experience, but it did not address long term happiness, at least not to my satisfaction. For example, does casual sex have an impact on the success of future long-term relationships? The scope of this talk reduces the value of casual sex to the incident itself and doesn't ask any questions about what other areas of our lives casual sex might be affecting.

Part of what makes sex powerful is that it is an act of vulnerability. Treating it more casually and learning to do it without vulnerability, in order to get only the most transient rewards sex offers probably does not lend itself to the deeper aspects of sex's connective capacities. It is true that you can connect sexually with someone you have only just met, but in doing this there is more risk, more incentive to hide away our vulnerabilities. If you can manage to have casual sex without getting in the habit of adopting an invulnerability around it, more power to you. But in a lot of cases I've seen, people who have had a lot of casual sex have to relearn how to be vulnerable in order to both get the best of what sex has to offer and the best of what relationships have to offer.

[charlottecottrell]

Yes, the cons of unwanted pregnancy and STD's (long-term, even permanent situations) totally DON'T outweigh the pros of "new friends and cool stories" (VERY short-term situations). This is ridiculous.

[dusty]

I'd have thought Stds and unwanted pregnancies would have been at the the top of the con list.

[skiller]

As Sadhguru says, the more you force disconnect from other people, the more you disconnect with yourself and it manifests into your being.