Signs of Immaturity in Narcissists & Borderlines

This video addresses signs of emotional immaturity to look for in toxic people so we can avoid dysfunctional and stressful relationships.

Friday, August 6, 2024 8/9/24

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[sarah.j.]

Yes relying on others, including the need to run to each of their "proxy mommies" to "tell on" people, (gossip). Emotionally immature people cannot handle their emotions on their own.

[rorywright]

His temper tantrums were horrifying! A grown man out of control, worse than a toddler!

[cushmanarmitige]

She was borderline and immature, but she came across for years as the mature one. I now see it was an act, like a kid trying to be an adult. She had no personality, just liked whatever people around her liked. Mainly whatever guy she was with over years just had his likes copied.

One week she likes star wars, the next its football or some band she never liked before. She never liked these things before or after the guy but would defend her love of these things while she was with the guy.

She was never who i thought she was, just a mirror to what she thought i wanted her to be or later she was just my bully.

I may never get over her or what she did to me. Point is if you see red flags then leave. Please leave.

[VixenTM]

I still remember how my ex gf would always talk about how horrible her mother was. Her mother would always try to get her son at her side. However, my ex gf would do this behaviour repeatedly as well. I once told her in a very cautious way that she complains about her mother doing it, yet she shows the same behaviour.
Months later, during a find, she reminded me of that moment: "you tried to distroy me by saying that. You mentally tried to burn me, and you like it hah?"

At that time, I thought this was clear borderline behaviour. In hindsight, it can also just be a shattering of her narcisstic fantasy, as she would non-stop claim she was like her father.

Temper tantrums, treaten to leave, calling me childish once I found out she immediately replaced me by what I thought was a good friend, who was supporting me with the breakup, who she demanded to keep their thing hidden so should could keep me as a back up

And yet... She still will always believe she was again victim of someone. It's truly fascinating

[ST]

He would talk bad about someone and I’d offer insight and then he’d make me feel bad bully saying stuff that it was either immature or graceless talking about someone. It was weird. He’d shift all the blame onto me if I agreed with him or whatever. Totally unstable and would contradict himself all the time. Weirdest guy I’ve ever known.

[tanyadepoalo]

I remember one of the MANY temper tantrum’s my ex threw, he set on fire this beautiful Bible I had restored and given to him as a gift, he actually set it on fire and took a video of it burning and texted me the video, then he threw it in the dumpster. I was very hurt by that, he destroyed every single gift I ever gave him in the 2.5 years we were together. And of course, the demise of our relationship is all my fault…..I’m “trash “ and a “low value woman” who can “burn in hell”. These are just a few of the many other choice words he’s spewed at me

[tillysquire-hjkk]

Yes when they they throw a tantrum 😵 ! If they are mature they would deal with it but because they can't deal with it they project their anger onto you which he always did to me . His favourite line was " you make me angry " & it kinda left me wondering " what did I say ? That's immaturity !!!

[rorywright]

Hi, David! Wasn’t expecting a video ! What a great surprise! Will watch while getting ready for Family Reunion tomorrow! 😎❤️

[alimccreery]

Hi from Sacramento. Isn’t laughing at something that wasn’t supposed to be funny a sign of nervousness? Good video on this subject. Very interesting.

[rossmarlin]

Amazing message David thank you so much
I definitely get a lot out of your videos
Please keep it going

[LunaNova-gr]

He would get angry, go off and do hard drugs, commit suicide and end up in the hospital or OD after a fight because i wouldn't apologize for his CONSTANT perception that I was slighting him.
(And yes... I know what i said. He died many times.)

[Jennifer-ttmb]

@David: Sometimes people laugh when they're nervous. Serious situations can make people nervous.

[MostGratefulOwl]

The one i knew had a really nice car, that his mom bought for him, 55 year old man on disability. He liked to show it off, be seen in it, brag about it etc. He would spend quite a bit washing it too, worried about how it looked. Just on the outside though, rarely the inside. It is trashed inside with rubbish filled throughout. Its a pretty 2015 Cadillac ats coupe, bought right off the lot. His mother could afford the loss I guess.

[brandoncmela]

Why do they keep coming back rather than finding someone else it’s weird

[IntuitiveMindz]

Can anyone relate to this? 6 weeks ago i decided i had enough with my gf of 10 months because of her constant drama scene creations, blaming me for her reacting the way she did. She would get triggered really easily and blame me for it when i had no intention to trigger her. Her biggest blame for me was i never had the time for her or made the effort for her even though i was seeing her everyday and we stayed weekends together. She's my neighbours daughter. Granted, i could've made more effort by probably having more days out but i felt i was getting pressured as she also wanted to have a child by next year and i wasn't ready just yet but didn't say no.

There were times when she shouted at me in public, calling me evil and nasty. There were times where she insulted me calling me fat, idiot, thick, tosser. There were 2 occasions where she physically ran away from me (which she justified as her way of dealing with stress to avoid confrontation). There was a time when she ripped up anniversary cards and flowers making a mess in the house because she waa so angry.

Can anyone relate to this? I'm trying to make sense of it as I've never experienced this. And a week after we broke up, she said she's already seeing someone else who's doing what i wasn't doing (which was to take her out on days out etc and listen to her needs) I was never against it, i was always up for doing that too but she wanted to spend whole days together from early morning to evening.

I dont know if these are traits of BPD but I dont know why i cant shake this experience off. I wasn't relationship focused in the beginning but I felt obligated to be with her as she was so sweet, caring, considerate, thoughtful. And maybe because i felt sorry for her as she made herself out to be a victim of her past. She also resented her step dad to this day. When the times were good they were really good but when they were bad, they were draining.

Can anyone help with this?

[JeskaJane.]

Example: he plays the song, “save me” on repeat.

[alimccreery]

I have a question if someone claims that they are a Christian but mentally abuses people and when that person is called out and they use the excuse that Christians are sinners. I’m finding this excuse to be very disturbing because when the person admits that they are a bully and they are not doing anything to change that part of their behavior I see them as a hypocrite. I’ve already taken the initiative to move out sooner than I expected but it’s necessary so I don’t have to deal with this other person’s dysfunction. I’m trying to work on myself and I feel I’m being robbed by another persons mental health issues when I’m forced to deal with them. So glad I’m getting out of here and getting a place of my own. 😊my question is do you think that her excuse makes sense because she claims to be a Christian? It sounds like crazy crap to me especially when this couple used to belong to a cult religion in NY city. People are allowed to think what they want but I’ve changed a lot about how I feel towards behavior when it comes to cults and religion. I would prefer to stay as far away as possible from cults manipulation and control.

[victoriamuniz]

So we actually teach toxic people how to treat us scary you never know who's listening

[icutarotbyselena]

jokes on you, all narcissistic and borderline ppl are immature. idc what they say or you say.