5 Things Tidying method

How do you pick up a room when you’re too overwhelmed to breathe? Bu remembering there are only 5 things in any room 1. Trash 2. Dishes 3. Laundry 4. Things with a place and 5. Things without a place. By cleaning in categories its easier to stay on task and avoid paralysis and overwhelm.

[lindastuttgart]

Thank you for being so realistic! A lot of people without depression don't know how it feels to look at a room and feel so overwhelmed. You make it seem managable and make me feel like I'm not alone, so thank you so much!!!

[Vickib]

I’m lying in my bed sobbing. It’s so good to finally meet you 😢. Where have you been all my life? I’m 74 years old. I have hope. Thank you. ❤️🙏🏻😘

[julietchristen]

And, for the record, if you can only do the trash part, just do the trash part...you'll at least feel like you accomplished something!! Then just do the laundry part, or the dishes part....

[curiouscurio]

I absolutely adore that you look like a regular person in your videos. You're not dressed up, makeup on, etc. You look the same as I look day-to-day, around the house. It's hard to explain, but it just feels like such a huge relief to know that I'm not alone. Sometimes, I feel like everyone else is doing all the things and has everything together all the time, and I'm one of the only ones who isn't or doesn't. Your videos remind me that's not true, and that I'm doing just fine. I discovered you through seeing your book on Amazon, and it's the first time I've felt like someone really "gets it", in terms of the practical reality of all this stuff, especially for people dealing with barriers. You're so kind and non-judgmental, and that is everything. I can't thank you enough for doing all of this, but THANK YOU!!

[Sue_Shiko]

"This space will care for me well now." Love that. I forget that's what cleaning/tidying is about, having a space that will care for me. I tend to make it a judgment -- I'm "good" or "bad" depending on the state of my home, but really it's about self nurture. Thank you.

[jackbliss]

This is super helpful, and watching the cats wander around really made it feel like a Home. The calico's "oh this carpet is clear now, I'm gonna flop over" moment was like an instant reward for the effort put in, it might as well be cat for "thank you".

[heatherscranton]

Dear KC, I hope you read this comment. I went to your site but didn't see any way to send you a message there. I just started reading How to Keep House While Drowning yesterday and it is already helping me immensely. I struggle with depression and ADHD. I have been in a real rut since the beginning of the year and it has been really hard. Anyway, I want to share something an ex-husband said to me once since this seems like the right place to get it off of my chest. I had spent a Sunday morning cleaning the whole house. After I was done, I offered to cook a roast and invite his parents over for dinner. He then said "with the house the way it is?" and I said "I just cleaned the entire house." He then said "not to my mom's It was the single most hurtful thing anyone has ever said to me and it still hurts when it comes to mind. And worse, he couldn't even see anything wrong with what he had said. I am so thankful I have better people in my life these days and I am SO glad that I found your book. Thank you for sharing all of this with those of us who struggle. Cheers!

[NancyGnome]

loved watching the cats "helping", too :D

[vidark.]

You are hereby my mother. I will learn all house-stuff from you. Amen.

[arioctober]

With as much as Marie Kondo changed my life, you changed it more.

I used to be a hoarder and I was completely disorganized. I stumbled across Tidying Up on Netflix and it set me on a whole new direction... Straight into tidyness OCD. I already have OCD so it makes sense that would happen. I also eventually became a minimalist and drastically downsized my belongings. I played numbers games and obsessed about not being minimal enough. Lol.

Becoming a tidy minimalist definitely had a lot of benefits but it had unforseen downsides as well, such as having panic attacks when my space becomes too dysfunctional. Which started happening a lot as I had my baby via C section and then severe postpartum depression. (Side note, I'm also physically disabled and neurodivergent including autism!) I've also become a "bulimic shopper"- I impulsively buy things I don't need and then promptly return or donate them, because I still have hoarding habits but only having items that really serve me is really important to me.

My mom accidentally stumbled across your TED talk the other day, sent it to me, and I found myself in tears watching it. I had an audible credit I didn't know what to do with from a free trial, so I went and bought your Audiobook. Absolute game changer. The idea that Care Tasks are morally neutral was a complete revelation to me.

Now I understand better why I am a minimalist and why I prefer my space to be tidy: it serves me. But when I am unable to do my Care Tasks in a timely manner, that doesn't mean I'm a failure. Occasionally buying too much and then getting rid of it later (or even keeping it) is also not a moral failing.

Who I was when I was a hoarder was not a failure, she was struggling just to get through the day, and wanted to keep anything that reminded her of better times through inanimate objects. Not being a hoarder simply serves me (and now my family) so much better.

Now I look at the looming chores and tell myself "it will get done when it gets done, and future me will thank the me that does it." I allow myself to leave the house without picking up our entire room first. I allow myself to go to bed without picking up our entire room first. I tidy when I have the time and energy and I relish in my clean space. But I no longer beat myself up for it not being immaculate 100% of the time.

I know this comment was a million years long and probably nobody will read it but it felt good to get all of this out. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Your book is one of the best books I have EVER read, and I'm already re-reading it. Thank you for helping me feel human.

[spicypotatosofttaco]

I love the idea of cutting down on decisions and not leaving the room

[ocelotpurr]

Captain Awkward brought me here. Thanks for posting, this is a great way to think about cleaning!

[catenthusiast]

This method is how i clean my place now....no matter how messy it is. My adhd brain does really well with methods like this. Obviously, i still have ill catch myself doing something like picking up laundry and then thinking oooh! lets go hang all of this up, then ill start trying to organize my closet (lol).... but, if i can just remind myself to keep with this method, i can pull myself back on track.

Also, KC you SO MUCH for reminding folks that basic care tasks are morally neutral. We are not "bad" if our place is a mess. Taking the morality part out of it has helped me so much, and I'd imagine it helps others as well. 🖤🖤🖤

[grassraptr]

I found you on TT and just adore you. There’s so much going on in my life that I’m quite literally drowning daily in decisions I can’t make. I’m a mom of 6 with depression, anxiety, ocd, and adhd. My husband has adhd and ptsd. We also homeschool, his mother was a borderline hoarder and my parents had a maid so I don’t even know how to clean. I literally have never had a house guest over in the 5 years we’ve lived in this house because my home embarrasses me. We tidy but I don’t know how to CLEAN- nor do I ever have the time and motivation. The house also needs many repairs because it’s old and kids destroy things.

Your videos give me hope that one day it won’t be like this. I try, some days even thinking about trying is too much.

Ty for your love and kindness through your content. I just bought your book and am excited to read it.

[monicap]

Today I got a functional living room thanks to your videos. Depression and anxiety make everything difficult, it seemed impossible. Thank you so much for this

[adinashaina]

For me, the dishes go into a Rubbermaid-type container under the sink so I don't have to look at that mess. This way my sink is available to me for any work I need to do. And when I am ready to do something with the dishes I can pull them out. I can prepare food/drinks at my sink without having to move things, again.

[lllin]

I have a central nervous system dysfunction/chronic pain/autoimmune thing going. Some days I'm in a wheelchair, some days I have a bit more mobility. I'm also ADD and Aspbergian. Honestly what you've shown here is the the way I ALWAYS clean my house, so that it doesn't get overwhelming… because, hey! Spoonies deserve to protect themselves from overwhelm! 😍 LoL.
Thanks for the affirmation!

[MathAdam]

And I can hear the cats thinking: "I love work! I could watch it all day!"

[marissaparker]

Cutting down on the decisions that I have to make and not leaving the room so you don't get distracted: golden advice for ADHD mamas!

[ShannonTheMojito]

I used to get yelled at for not taking out the trash. But yesterday I took out the trash, saw a spill in my driveway, went looking for a shovel, realized my laundry sink was clogged, went looking for drano, got on the computer to order it, and started watching hair videos. So now I do the whole house of trash, then wipe the interior spill when I'm mopping the kitchen.