Conversation Skills: How to Stay Present in Conversation

Whenever we worry about how we are coming across to others in conversation, our minds run frantic. We try to think of what to say next, we think about the last thing we said, we worry if the conversation is running smoothly.

In all our worries, we miss every moment at hand as the conversation unfolds, and we miss any connection we could have had. As the conversation is in a perpetual state of unfolding in the present moment, our minds feel trapped on a linear path of time, not knowing where to focus or where to rest.

We lose the ability to listen, speak, think clearly... In short, we lose the ability to enjoy the beauty of the moment as it unfolds.


Thanks for watching!

[hueymalia]

I can't believe my mind drifted while watching a video on how to stay in the present !

[vin_lulz]

I definitely focus too hard on what I should say and how it should sound to everyone that's hearing it and focus on how it sounded afterward and I definitely come off as awkward to a lot of people, and I never realized until I watched this how pointless it is to stay focused on something I already said and how that's keeping me from staying in the conversation. Thanks your videos really speak to me

[jgvidotto]

"my Nurse was a sister" haha

[Jon-lpen]

What I Have Learned From This Video:
1. Eye Contact with Certainty and Conviction - People will sense that spiritually
2. Take The Notes - Constantly ask questions to pick their brain as well as finding about how I can add values to their lives or businesses - It will make the listeners feel more special and they will try to provide more value in return - Make sure to use pen and notes to take note
3. Allow People To Finish Their Own Sentences - Don't fking interrupt while they are talking!
4. Indicates Them You Are Actively Listening By Nodding or Saying 'Uh Hmm'
5. Ask Core Questions - Question That Goes Deep Into A Particular Subject - For example) "How did you get into that?" or "You know, why do you do that?" or "Huh, Why is that important for you?" or "What are your goals and dreams?" or "What is stopping you?" or "What's preventing you from getting what you want?" or "How can I help? How can I serve?" or "Who do I know that could help you?" - I should not be memorizing this; just focus on creating values to listeners - Asking these open-ended question will open them up so they can open the part of themselves where I can help.

[bobbojibbs]

watched this high...when this nigga started talking about the future and the rippling waves of the space time continuum my head just about popped

[Outdoorcookwarereviews]

Bro i have aspergers abd of all the videos ive watched in the last 3 years since i was diagnosed this is the only one that actually explained why i've always been told to 'get with the conversation'
Thankyou so much! This is like a paradign shift in awareness for me

[preparedsurvivalist]

Also, when you flub and say something dumb, the other person might start to tune you out or dwell on the dumb thing you said. But if you immediately refocus on something else (i.e. creating another ripple) then the other person will snap back into the present and forget about the dumb thing you said earlier and focus on what you are saying now.

[powerhuffandpuff]

So lately I've been feeling really lost. My words cant seem to catch up with my head. Ive been so caught up in the past and living with so much anxiety about the future. This seems to happen to me a lot after I finally get settled into the present moment. So in other words, after I have a genuine connection with someone, I begin wanting it to remain as it is or control it in some way- in turn sabotaging it. Ironically too because I do enjoy teachings of taoism and eckhart tolloe is one main inspirations- but I couldn't seem to severe that mind pattern way of thinking. You basically just summed it up for me so amazingly. I only ever feel true joy when I am rooted into the present so it only makes sense to look at yourself as person sitting in a pond while the ripples are things that sway you. I really want to thank you for say the words I couldn't find and illustrating it so beautifully.

[Kollin]

I had trouble listening to this video. The palm trees in the background intrigued me and I started wondering if they were coconut since I've never seen them before. Then i wondered if you are in california or in the carribeans. then that led me to wonder are you in a gated community or a golf course....

[scatchef]

There's a lot to love about this idea.

[sydniusalminia]

wow, the premise of women aside, your concept of the puddle created a entirely new idea of the present and reality in my mind. I spend my life looking for new ways of thinking and you have given me a gem. Thank you sir

[manny]

You are very articulate. This is something I need to work on. Great video :)

[WelcomeDanny]

Shogo. You were really inspiring. Where have you been? I still think about this video and you. miss your videos

[TheMojomo]

But at the same time if we are to improve the quality of the intuitions that come to us of what to say, we require at least a quick analysis of their effectiveness. So at the same time as remaining in the present it is good to still judge our intuition, but the key it seems is not to dwell on it and simply be aware of how well it worked, because this awareness will subsequently encourage or discourage appropriate or inappropriate intuitions in the future.

[waazup]

1:29 "My nurse was a sister in 2008" haha that wasn't intentional was it?

[xXvXkoryxXvXx]

Wow!! This is deep! I truly love this.

[Ernstly]

Thank you so much for this amazing video! You are a great teacher! <333

[kongthao]

love ur Vids bro. u got me crackin up when u say. at 1:28 minutes into the vid." My nurse was a Sister in 2008 " tho lol. good stuff!!

[tjmeagher]

Ohh, Great way to dig deep into the nature of change and apply it to daily life.

[khyvich]

A way I explain presence and the linear use of time: The bar graph. The X axis is time, the Y axis is presence, focus and energy. If the left of the X axis is the past, the center is the present and the right side is the future, where is your energy? If you are mindfully in the 'past' or 'future' or both, you cannot use your limited energy 'now.' There would be curves all over the graph. The Y - your focus - axis would be ups and downs like most people's focus. Keep yourself in the 'now' and the peak of energy is high, is powerful and it's undiluted. It is potential and powerful Now.