How To Improve Your Communication Skills

#shorts You can watch all the social skill/charisma videos that you want, but nothing will trump this one thing that will improve your communication skills.

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[GSPV]

A key piece of advice for anyone watching:

I healed, completely, after *years* of social anxiety. At first, videos like this actually made me feel worse. But now i understand; there's a specific frame you have to interpret these videos in for them to help you.

The change came after I was so overwhelmed with anxiety, that i gave up on trying to be 'enough'. I deciding I wanted to be radically honest. I wanted to be vulnerable, to show my embarrassing feelings instead of trying to fix them first.
When I met people and felt nervous, **I would tell them.** "Honestly, I'm kind of a shy person. I feel nervous about not having something interesting to say." Often times, to my surprise, they took it extremely well and actually were MORE open and interested in getting to know me than ever before. And I felt like I could be myself -- including the vulnerable parts. I'd often even hear, "Whaat? You don't seem shy to me!" Because it turns out that being honest about your fear IS courageous.

Then it clicked. Why was I watching videos like this? Because I thought I needed to learn how to be something different. To not be nervous, to not be awkward, before I could socialize healthily.

The truth is exactly the opposite: Socializing well comes from deciding that it's OKAY that you feel nervous, that you're awkward, and being honest about it.

It turns out, your awkwardness is mostly your self-judgment for FEELING awkward. You think you're supposed to feel differently, that others "just feel comfortable socially." It's not true. Everyone gets nervous and weird sometimes, everyone has awkward silences. When you become okay with it, and own it rather than trying to change it -- that is, ironically, when you get healing.

What you resist, persists. Let yourself socialize AS socially anxious you. Let yourself feel shy, and then give yourself grace to not beat yourself up for not "performing." Confidence is not the assurance that you'll be liked -- it's knowing that you'll be okay, and treat yourself well, even when you embarrass yourself or feel shy.

So yes, practice socializing. But not as a technical skill. The thing you're actually practicing, the fundamental layer that all healthy socializing comes from, is this: You're practicing BEING VULNERABLE. You're practicing COURAGE. The outcome of any social interaction doesn't matter, only that you let yourself be brave, and honest.

If you're like me, it will rapidly transform your life.

Wishing y'all well. Be kind to yourselves.

[amruteshmishra]

So, in short, to get better at talking to people, we need to talk to people

[Mr.Rgdias]

As a self-aware introvert I could say this is easier said than done.

[yua-chan]

“You were not born socially handicapped!!”
ASD: allow me to introduce myself..

[nielfollero]

The best way to get better at something is by doing it. Accept that there will embarrassment, mistakes and cringy things that you will inevitably do, but these are just part of it.

[supergirl]

One thing I learned from interacting with people is that everyone just wants someone to listen to their problems and actually care and ask questions about them. So I started doing that and it helped me a lot with friendships (I have social anxiety so it’s really hard for me). Unfortunately though some people don’t bother ask what the other person’s problems are and only care about themselves

[Lovleyy]

During Covid, I stopped going out and stayed home. I spend more time on my devices rather talking to people outside. My communication has gotten worse ever since covid.

[noface]

100% solid advice. Observing is probably the most important thing you can do to get better at conversations. I used to be considered really shy to the point some people thought I was “mute” as a kid. When I got into college though I started to get better at actually listening to what people were talking about and asking questions about themselves, their thoughts, etc. Now people actually ask about me and want my input.

[bradShank]

I've spent more than enough time around people and social interaction to know that I do not get along with many people and I often just don't care enough about anyone to bother trying conversation, I'm happy in my own company

[shuem_]

Can confirm the baby fact. I was a bit awkward at communicating but sometime after that I started observing how my dad interact with people and without noticing I copied the same exact way he did. He always tease people a bit in conversations and nonetheless I do that too haha.

[mahnoorabid]

This was a much needed wake up call. I can't express how much I'm thankful to you for making such real and amazing content. Easily one of the best videos that I've come across everrr!

[Balloushop]

There is no shortcut to greatness.
Practice makes perfect.

[Brianna.]

I’m legit so shy and so awkward I don’t know how to make conversation with people and I fear making a fool of myself so I just avoid human interaction best I can… 😅

[JB-qupv]

Yea, this seems easier than it actually is when you have social anxiety. I’m finally able to go back to uni after a brain injury, but I feel so disconnected to others because I’m older, have to deal with accessibility accommodations, and just don’t know what to talk about. Would like some advice as to where I should go to find people locally, especially those that already don’t have their own social groups.

[SuhVamp]

The Truth is one that noone evet talks about:
You are fine at talking to people. People just suck

[ems.master]

I knew this "secret" for a long time. The problem is that I can't find people willing to deal with my socially awkward side until I learn, but I can't learn until I find people. I'm stuck in a loop.

[Deepa_Panwar]

Observation is the key for beginning of the interaction and communication

[ryanpmcguire]

The biggest lie implicit in today’s society is that social skills are set in stone. I can quickly tell when someone has underdeveloped social skills, even if they have surface charisma.

[kaushikkundu]

This is best channel for self improvement.

[Mario-wput]

What about autistic people where observing social standards/cues is a problem for them