Enmeshment: Healthy Boundaries & Dynamics Explained

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Family enmeshment happens when family members become too intertwined, creating blurred boundaries and unhealthy emotional dependence. This can make it hard for everyone to grow as individuals, so recognizing the signs of enmeshment is crucial for healing and building healthier family relationships. In this video from Tim's series on Healthy Supports, he goes over the many characteristics and signs to look out for if you think you may be part of or from an overly enmeshed family.

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DISCLAIMER:
Tim Fletcher is not a doctor or licensed therapist. Tim’s videos are for informational purposes only to provide understanding, learning, and awareness about complex trauma. No information published here can replace professional evaluation, diagnosis, or treatment.

[TimFletcher]

💜 Please be aware of scammers impersonating Tim or the Tim Fletcher team! We do not provide any phone numbers in the comments and Tim does not chat privately with viewers. We will never ask you to join us on a messaging app. When in doubt, reach out to us via our website at timfletcher.ca. Stay safe and scam-aware. With Love, The Tim Fletcher Team.

[handlercommander]

Im going to try to get my mom to listen to this with me. This is the closest thing to therapy she will ever even consider. Ty

[leaf]

The way this affects me now is i try to feel safe by guessing other peoples emotions instead of communicating more directly and asking them, and i feel like so many conversations i have i m seeking approval of others by keeping the fear of abandonment at bay

[RainFall-wzyp]

The intensity of my loneliness
and my desire and ache for love
are all-consuming.

[clseairsppt]

This is what ruined my marriage. My wife's family was very angry that I saw this. Now my little ones are sucked in and I have almost no relationship with them even with a court order. It's a gang alright. You don't get between them. The non blood spouses were looked down on. The one tried to leave twice and was brought back. I had to go after 12 years I couldn't take the verbal comments and agressive behavior, and threats on top all for just trying to make a family of my own.

[LovelyWorld]

I’d love for people to see my dad and his mom… it’s insane tbh

[mystearicanohr]

I’m not sure but I think my family was perhaps chaotically enmeshed? We might have been normal except all the moves for dad’s work forced us to BECOME an island from the world.
My dad was always working but would loosely quote the Godfather to my trouble sister “Never go against the family.”
I would quote it too. I was eldest and would get mad at her for rocking the boat. Our family was the only constant and only support. Friends became less important over the years because always felt I’d be moving soon anyways. The kids in our family basically raised ourselves on video games together. Mom and dad would show up upstairs occasionally to give us hell for the video games and not helping with stuff. So we lived in fear of those moments. Learned to just stiffen up and take it quietly, then do as they said for as long as they were mad and paying attention

[saraz]

Mother never calls
Only when she wants to send grandkids a gift or plan a quick visit
Then back to the golden child and her life

[happy]

Ppl that have Inmeshment don’t know they have it
They will blame others

And they call love Inmeshment

[leaf]

I didn't learn to suppress my desires quick enough (cause I'm autistic) so I was labelled anti social, you must hate us, for wanting to have alone time,