A Therapist's Tips for Discovering Who You Are | Therapist Explains Identity Development

As generations, Millennials and Gen Z seem to be having the hardest time with answering the big question of "Who am I?" so I wanted to weigh in on this topic to give y'all my therapist opinion about knowing who you are! We're talking about what I think the do's and don't of identity development, discovery, and growth are plus some tips for how to get started if you're feeling stuck or in a rut! There's a lot to discuss so grab a journal and a snack and settle in!

Roe v Wade
Donations:
Resources:
Educating Yourself & Others:

Black Lives Matter
Educating Yourself & Others:
Donations:
Petitions:

***Disclaimer: All videos and content on this channel is intended to be entertainment and educational only. YouTube is not therapy and I cannot and do not provide specific advice or clinical services to anyone on this platform. Your confidentiality cannot be guaranteed on YouTube so please be mindful of this when sharing in the comments!***

Finding a Therapist & Suicide Prevention Services

-National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 24/7/365 crisis and prevention services.
1-800-273-8255

-Open Path Collective: Search engine for sliding fee scale and affordable therapy options

Inclusive Therapists: Therapist search engine with a focus on inclusivity & safety for folks with marginalized identities.

Glimmer: A digital wellness platform for LGBTQIA+ folks.

-NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness): Provides education, tools, resources, and a help line for people with mental illness.
1-800-950-6264
or text NAMI to 741741

Music for Intro and Outro:
Intro: New Horizons by Twocann
Outro: When You're Ready by Twocann

[christineluongo]

when you said "what are you not" all my brain said was "straight and capitalist" lmao

[beyondallmeasure]

As a disabled person who lives VERY rurally, online spaces have been a life saver for me.

[elirae]

i never realized how shitty the phrase "can't love someone else until you love yourself" made me feel until you said that. <3

[sircharlesmormont]

As a public librarian, I sincerely appreciate the support! During the entire section in which you were detailing different ways to get into hobbies and form community, I was getting my typing fingers ready to write, "your library is probably a great resource for most of that!" I think people forget that libraries are not just book repositories; we are community spaces that seek to foster lifelong learning no matter where your interests may take you. Come check us out! Even if you don't have a library card, many libraries will still offer access to in-person or online programming. Many will also offer temporary cards that grant access to online resources. Most library programs and services are free and/or low cost. It's a great place to start.

[amandajacobs]

When I was a teenager I put my whole identity on being the "smart kid who made straight A's" which was bad because as soon as I didn't make an A I would have a mental breakdown, then in college I made my whole identity "I'm going to be a teacher" but luckily now that I'm out of college and am actually teaching, and after a lot of therapy, I have realized that my identity is not just one thing and I actually know who I am. So thank you for this video it helped affirm that I'm on the right track.

[blooperofahuman]

I have ADHD, so my identity is very dependent on where the serotonin drags me. Having finally figured that out, i have come to the conclusion that i am a nerd. An artsy, opinionated, queer, nerd.

[mandymagnolia]

I wish I wasn’t so scared to engage in online fandom spaces. I’m 28, painfully nervous with new people and tend to just lurk. With so much discourse and people trying to tell others that how to engage and enjoy in fandom it makes me so nervous. People tend to throw around serious terms and accusations and it just makes me scared to open up in places

[Valeria-sxuv]

I want to be a bookworm. I want to live on my nice balcony, surrounded by books, enjoying nice tea blends and creating art

[bretthansen]

I grew up ibln a similar type of Christianity as Girl Defined. I didn't just not learn much about who I was as an individual, I was taught not to look (a lesson that took far longer to shake than Christianity itself). I really appreciate this video. I'm currently stumbling through my 40s trying to figure out a lot of stuff about myself that I really wish I'd known a long time ago.

[brittanywilcox]

I have always struggled with the concept of identity. I don't understand what it even means, and I think that confusion is compounded by the fact that I have DID

[chickenfoot]

I work at an animal shelter. A lot of people who work in this profession tend to make it a big part of their identity. It can really take a toll on people's emotional health. It's a really hard balance to maintain for sure. You have to put some of yourself and emotions into your work, it's almost unavoidable. However, I've seen some people throw their whole self into the job and that's a recipe for disaster. If you have nothing else the tragic things that happen here all the time will distroy you.

[KelsB]

Definetly needed a video like this. It’s been feeling like I have been doing my young adult years the wrong way as I see everyone else my age going to concerts and bars and going clubbing and I have little interest in doing any of those things but I have been feeling like I SHOULD what to do those typical things. It’s comforting to know that there nothing wrong with staying home and wanting to dance alone instead 💕

[freckledandred]

I love what you said about not getting your identity caught in your work. I experience so much shaming as a SW (a queer one as well) and it’s not exactly smooth sailing but I have found so much happiness having the financial freedom to live my life. I’m not rich and By any means. I struggle as much financially as any other single mom but I love that I don’t need a man to take care of me and make my own schedule at work and answer to no one but myself. To me, that’s happiness

[RowanAvery]

A therapist I saw for a short time asked me the funeral question and it blew my mind. Definitely helped bring things into perspective at the time!

As someone who didn't get a real childhood or teenage years, I find myself going back to what made me happy as a kid. I sometimes do things that I missed out on as well, like going to free/low cost museums or purchasing toys that child me could never have. For me it helps sooth the trauma a bit and also helps with forming an identity.

[jerrimenard]

I am in my 50's and who I am is still a work in progress. I can tell you who I was at 20 and at 40, but it won't be what I am today. I gave different challenges and learn new skills. Through it all, my core talents and interests remain and help me to process things that come up.
For instance, when I was in my teens, we had no word for non-binary. We had David Bowie and Annie Lennox. Just not in My small New England town. There, it was only me and all the He/she jokes.
Guess what, don't wait till you are in my age group to come out. If the people who claim to love you don't know who you are, you'll never be close to anyone. It really sucks to do that for a half century only to realize, the fear kept you from the one thing you always wanted, being yourself.

[Tamara-quti]

The Audacity to this video existing, while having a idenity crisis

[vampire]

I've kind of always thought about this kind of this as a kid. I've been in my own head for years, but as my childhood became more and more violent I stopped doing it for safety. Now I'm working on relearning to do it in a good way, learning who I am is so nice, I really like him.

[tineputzeys]

Also, if a group around your interests doesn't exist yet, you can start it yourself. I did so in with the support of, of course, a local library. Yeey!

[kkayjae]

I have borderline personality disorder. I literally have no concept of an identity, but I’m working on it

[hellolove]

I’m sending this to the women in my life. It’s been a frequent topic in our conversation, wanting to find “things to do” and to develop a community around us but it feels so difficult. I think it’s all about one step at a time as long as you’re doing something to work towards finding out about yourself and hopefully enjoying the experiences (or at least learning from them) ❤