Advice For a Therapist Doing Her First Therapy Session

Here's my advice for a therapist with perfectionist tendencies who was preparing for her first therapy session. The full question, answered during a recent Q&A call I hosted for Uncommon Practitioners course delegates and UPTV members was:

“Do you have any advice for a therapist doing her first session, especially if that person, intellectually, is aware of her perfectionist tendencies? I feel like I’m learning tennis again but I’m thinking about too many parts of the game at once, so I miss the simplest forehand!”

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ABOUT MARK TYRRELL

Psychology is my passion. I've been a psychotherapist trainer since 1998, specializing in brief, solution focused approaches. I now teach practitioners all over the world via our online courses.

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[MarkTyrrellUnk]

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[boyunderbridge]

Carl Rodgers said he felt he was at his best when he was closest to his most intuitive self. Thanks for the video

[AGoodVibe]

My first session with a client is tomorrow. This is very helpful advice. Thank you! Imposter syndrome is a real thing.

[leonidasarisari]

2:45 Nothing is more Human than sitting down with another person and seeking to help them feel or be better in their life.

[Non-qkww]

I am currently in my final three months of my Honours degree in Psychology, and this video is exactly what I needed. I struggle with my role-plays being the practitioner because I am so focused on saying the right thing. You're right, being in the moment with the client and allowing my intuition to guide me is the key to improving my therapy skills. THANK YOU!

[Jiiri]

Thank you for this wonderful advice. I’m in my second year in graduate school for clinical mental health counseling and I wish most of my professors would have offered this advice. School is so intellectually front-loaded. I know it maybe has to be this way, but it makes our first wobbly steps into real connection scary and unknown.

[iffatabbas]

Even though I'm not a therapist I listen to all your videos as soon as you upload them. They contain profound knowledge that can be applied in our daily lives. Thank you so much Sir you're the best therapist.

[Therealmichaelt]

I am conducting my very first real session today. You have NO idea how much this video helped me! I am still anxious about it, but I feel more ready now than I have all week! Thank you!

[bibobagginses]

I'm feeling exactly this. My first few sessions are shaky, I felt like I'm not hitting the right notes, and not to mention awkward. I feel like I'm someone else at times. Always conscious about what technique or theory to use. After listening to you, I feel like I should not be too hard on myself. It will come naturally. I've learned what I can, and to use them in my sessions, I just need to trust myself and just talk to them. Thank you so much!

[cassandratarentino]

Great advice, a conversation between two imperfect beings- and a reminder that we're not doing therapy on people, we're doing it with people 😊

[paintingzoneart]

I’m an artist, and all you’ve said here about learning & forgetting, Mark, applies equally to creating my best art. Thank you, as always, for being so clear & wise.

[rationalityrules]

Matt provides advice for new therapists, particularly those with perfectionist tendencies. Drawing parallels with the game of tennis, Matt notes that overthinking can impede natural flow and skill. Using the metaphor of a boy dissecting a fly to understand its flight, he emphasizes the limitations of compartmentalizing knowledge and skills, highlighting the danger of perfectionism. This need for perfection can cause therapists to overly rely on conscious, logical thought processes (left-brained) rather than intuitive, emotional ones (right-brained). This is counterproductive in therapy, a deeply human and intuitive process.

The most valuable advice Matt received during his training was to learn all the techniques and then consciously forget them during sessions. This approach allows the therapist to be more intuitive and responsive to the client's needs. Therapists should remember they're working with the client, not on them, and be open to embracing imperfections in both themselves and their clients. Using the example of a smoking client, Matt suggests focusing on broader principles rather than specific details.

Concluding, Matt's main message is to trust one's intuition after thorough learning. Embracing imperfections can make a therapist more relatable and effective. He ends by inviting viewers to like, subscribe, and join his email newsletter.

[moonsiebeneicher]

you know what, that was beautiful. being an imperfect human and an imperfect therapist is perfect for the imperfect client. thank you!!

[pheebizzlefoshizzle]

This video has eased a lot of my anxieties as a first time therapist set to start a new job soon!!

[reuniteireland]

I really like that part about being an imperfect person and imperfect therapist is perfect for your imperfect client. A good reflection point for me.

[ginabosque]

Love your videos. I am Chinese medicine practitioner, and your advise always makes perfect sense for me too! Thank you!!

[deogratiusramale]

I am a psychology student, i am really learning from you

[paulagrycz]

I’ve just sat down to try to prepare for a ‘test’ session with potential placement and thanks to you I’ve realised I’ve divided the fly into many parts… and that I forgot to trust my instinct and knowledge. Thank you ❤️

[shrutishravaavashishtha]

You are a life saver for budding therapists such as myself. Thank you so much for your videos!

[jackkrauser]

oh my god, i need more of this golden content.