The real effects of single-parent households | Stephanie Gonzalez | TEDxCarverMilitaryAcademy

Stephanie isn't in denial, the stats for single parents and child with single parents are pretty grim. Stephanie shares her story of overcoming those odds.

Stephanie Gonzalez is a 16 year old who grew up and was raised in Chicago by her single mother and older brother. She is an honor roll student who constantly tries to do her best in everything she does just for the sake of self achievement. She has a great fascination for music and art. Stephanie always liked to learn new things. She plans to go to college and graduate.Stephanie will speak from personal experience of growing up in a single parent home and why our culture needs to reconsider the way we perceive single parents.

[LIVdaBrand]

The biggest problem with relationships is that people are selfish. Period

[MinnesotaFats]

As a man, I would be a completely different person without my dad. I love my mom, and in a lot of a ways I'm closer to her than I am my dad. But my dad directed me on the right path when I was a teen, and I don't think anyone else could have. The inconvenient truth is kids need both parents in their life. The best advice I could give my kids is graduate high school, don't believe the lie that is most social media, and don't have kids before you're married.

[continueprisoner]

The real effect of growing up in a single parent household, a mother who never got over my father, whom I never met, was I grew up without a compass. And at 37, still am looking for one.

[bearingfruit]

Lots of truth in this TED, yet I must say I lead such a peaceful, happy life with my 6 year old girl, our dog and the wonderful friends we have surrounded ourselves with. Single moms out there, be positive, invest in your emotional health. No one ever dreams of being a single parent, but if it happens to you, be strong and don't give up. God's grace is abundante. "He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds."

[douglasferne]

It's nice to see the world at large taking a second look at divorce and all the shit that brings. I myself am the child of a poor, white, hippie household and my childhood pretty much ended with my parents divorce. Imagine what it's like with not 1 but 2 single parent households struggling to make ends meet and hoping to their sacrifices lead to something better. Now throw in childhood videogame escapism, poor parenting skills which came from 2 brokenish households, being anti-social and emotionally withdrawn from living in the middle of nowhere, AND being uttely unable to talk to your parents about your parents because you'd either be A) criticizing either of the persons you singularly depend on for their actions when you know they don't need any more problems like your complaints or B) telling one about the other's life which might lead to various forms of harassment/legal bs.
This conversation is nearly 20 years overdue for me, and im glad that the middle class is getting so squeezed by everything that it's forcing them to take another look at the poor people already underwater.

[mpa]

I got custody of my older daughter when she was young. Her mother was nuts, totally nuts, now lives in homeless shelters, hopelessly bipolar. I poured effort in my kid, since her mother was dysfunctional. She has turned out very well; has 2 of her own kids; very happily married.

[kodyscot]

alot of women i know told me they never had their father in their life because the mom ran them away, and i have heard this more then u can ever imagine .

[lcosito]

im a dad, I work and my kids are proud of me...

[andreias]

As a kid I never thought family impacted my life. Now I'm 24 and I only noticed dysfunctional relationships in my past. I grew up with my mother only, as a girl. I noticed letting myself being used in relationships like my mother was. I have zero notion what is being friends with a guy. I never saw my parents even talking to eachother. My father impregnated my mother and threw her away. The problem was she always acted like that was ok, it was normal to be treated like that.

[THE-zvvj]

Or mothers keep the father away through parental alienation.I pay support, Medical insurance. I am refused parenting time with my children. For doing nothing more than leaving our abusive relationship. My punishment, no parenting time, not a picture, not a phone call nothing except the bill. I dont know what they look like if they re safe. Some of us want to be fathers and be loving and supportive. These Family courts are abusive and destroy families

[SnowFoxParty]

Imagine growing up with a single parent and no siblings. Talk about loneliness

[DCCLourens]

I have witnessed my parents, aunts, uncles, cousins and friends divorce in high numbers. All I have been exposed to is drama, fights over money and material possessions.

Because of this I don't believe in marriage and starting a family. Just too traumatized of the idea of marriage. If you want to learn the root cause of single parenthood, look at monetary policy, feminism's unintended consequences, divorce courts money making industry and many other factors to fuel single parenthood.

[mysticaltyger]

This girl is only 16. She can't possibly know that she's "fine" without her dad. It leaves a hole in your life. She won't understand this until much later.

[kasiasaved]

I was so happy when my parents divorced! Fear became smaller. It started to be much more easier but was still difficult. I'm proud of my mother she had enought strenght to divorce my father.

[rainbowvisionart]

Being a lone parent myself, I have far too much put on me and I would be a much better parent if I had support from another parent.
I’m sure my daughter would prefer to have two good parents to have her back and support her.
However, two bad parents or toxic people aren’t good and one good parent is better than adding a toxic one.
There are days when I feel I’m pushed to my mental limits. It’s not just financially, it’s having support emotionally and physically.

[MrOicurtwo]

I think that the use of students for a Ted Talk is a great format to teach public speaking and to tell their stories.

[rogertoole]

I was an only child, with a single mother, seven half siblings that I never got to know. ( They were all overseas. ) All my mother would do is leave me with babysitters and relatives growing up, ( she worked 2 jobs to keep up with the mortgage .) and date various men who would all end up leaving . I felt very unsafe and uncomfortable growing up by never having any stability or time to talk, or bond, also, I never witnessed what a healthy family dynamic was nor what a healthy parental role models were . Because she wasn't there half the time. I find it difficult to connect with anyone or trust anyone because even though my dad was absent, she would break every promise she had to me and couldn't wait until I left home at 18. This might sound horrible but Britney Spears comes to mind when I think of " individualiatic " parents. She might be great in her career, and maybe even be a decent human being but certainly not a good parent. Humans care for their young the longest in the mammalian family and I think some people just aren't born to be parents .

[Ami-zomo]

People are totally missing the point when it comes to single parenthood. In reality it's not two parents versus one parent but support versus lack of support. Children need many caregivers and role models. Even two parents are not enough and economy makes it hard for parents to find time for their children.
A single parent household which is financially stable and has benefit of support of extended family and comunity is way better for a child then two parent household which is isolated, financially deficient and where parents struggle with mental health, stress and relationship problems.
The focus should be not on constant pointing out disadvantaged of single parenthood but on making our society more supportive of families and children in general. It does take a village to raise a child.

[katherinefielder]

Her friend was not depressed because he had one parent...he was depressed because he LOST a parent.

[mhildredxyz]

Single parent is not an easy job... Why this kids now a days only mind themselves..their emotions etc. Did you ever thought about your parent especially single mom doing everything she can to provide you everything... The 9mos of carrying you on her womb afraid everything that might happen to you...the sleepless night when you want to have milk... The stress of the bills, your future, your health and her job... A single mom who got pregnant without a responsibility of a father...or divorce mother.... We forget about our own self since the first time we hear your heartbeat...it is not always about your selves... Did you ever ever had any idea where we stand right now..???did you ever understand us????and i know each of any of us single parent ..we love our children more than any one else...proud single mom here...