How Malignant Narcissists Manipulate Empath Abuse Survivors #narcissisticabuse #manipulationtactics

🔥Trigger Warning: If you feel activated watching this video, turn it off and perhaps return to it at another time or consult a licensed Mental Health professional. Viewer comments may contain descriptions of child abuse and neglect and can also be activating.

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🔥 COPYRIGHT NOTICE: My videos focus exclusively on understanding and recovering from what I named 'family scapegoating abuse' (FSA) during the course of my academic and clinical research. THESE VIDEOS ARE COPYRIGHTED AND CANNOT BE SAMPLED AND USED FOR OTHER PURPOSES.

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Copyright 2023 | Rebecca C. Mandeville | All Rights Reserved

[Hawaiiansky]

What's really heartbreaking is how a malignant, sadistic narcissist parent teaches us to cling to narcissists as adults while also pushing away and being distrustful of honest, kind hearted sincere people.
They really set us up to fail for our whole lives.

[MonicaGunderson]

Talk to them about boundaries, then see them start getting real uncomfortable.

[goodgracious]

A few weeks before my wedding, I had a dream that I was at the altar and did not physically recognize the man I was marrying. He looked the total opposite of my real life fiance. In an amusing way, I told my fiance about the odd dream. To my surprise, he became furious and shouted, "Why would you tell me that!". After we were married, he turned for the worse. It was like he was a total stranger! Lasted 24 months and I divorced.

[Bellas_Poetry]

Fortunately, I found a good guy. I was nearly 50 when I met him, but we've been together for 12 years and he's never raised his voice or hand to me, he listens when I talk, he's not afraid of difficult conversations and he's even in therapy to make himself a better person. He's in the kitchen making fruit salad because he knows how much I love fresh fruit ❤ and yes, he does the dishes and cooks. He's a manly man outside and can fix a vehicle or build an entire house, but inside, due to my disability, he does 90% of the chores. I cook and clean as I can, and he encourages me to rest. They're out there. It took me a while, but decent people are out there

[serenityfields]

This is what happened to me. I ended up with a Narcissistic Sociopath. Then I took a look at my mother and it all made sense.

[whitehorse]

Wow!...." being preyed upon by your own family members"...that says it all, Rebecca!

[IngaCombs]

I am stunned that there are psychologist that specialize in helping scapegoats.

Being scapegoated is so very harmful and serious that psychologist now specialize in it.

[samme]

I met a woman 9 years ago who was "planted" in my life by the malignant narcissists who take joy in trying to sabotage me. She was so great at pretending to be just like me and love everything I did.
Once I found out the wake of damage she caused, I cut off all contact.
It's still so hard for me to believe that people can be so cruel. But at least now I know.
Now I wonder how I'll ever trust again.

[Alsatiagent]

If you can afford it, travel is an excellent test of a person's true nature. Even a camping trip will do. It's ok if they hate it. It's a matter of how they express themselves to you while under the stress of an unfamiliar environment.

[l.]

Before I knew what narcissism was, I noticed my husband would observe people we were with, then mimic their ways. Their values became his values. Their sense of humour became his sense of humour. He told me he didn't care for chocolate chip cookies. Then a visitor brought some and my husband said "Oh! My favourite!!" I later asked him if he even had a personality of his own. He replied he would 'go along to get along" but this went way past that. (Thank you for the cookies...my wife loves that flavor' would have both worked and been true. Depending on who his crowd was at the time, his behaviour and fashion sense could change dramatically. (I am now divorced).

[forgiven]

I agree best way to date is get to know them a long time. A narc can fake being human for at least 3-6 months. The world is full of narcs right now, probably best to be single.

[AdamFlint-]

I never got married because I shied away from people because I didn’t want anyone to see that ugly person my narcissistic father taught me that I was. My father is gone now and here I sit alone. I feel robbed of the privilege of having my own family.

[scatteredgrapes]

I was never believed. I was portrayed as a disobedient child. Funny that even though I was ostracized by other children at school, I was never in trouble. I'm 54 years old and just now learning that the abuse I suffered has a name. I'm the outcast of my family. I never fit in anywhere, so I believed that I had some sort of character flaw. I'm currently waiting for referrals for therapy.

* I'm waiting for therapy referrals because my anxiety, that has never been treated, has gotten out of control to the point that my blood pressure was shooting up and down and made me short of breath, causing me to make the mistake of going to the ER at the suggestion of my nurse. It was really embarrassing to learn that my symptoms were from anxiety. It was not a good experience, especially because of the way hospital staff were interacting with me which made my symptoms even worse.

[janethomas]

well said. over trusting too early, the wrong people. Believing you are safe when you are not. Financial schemes are designed to take from us also.

[twistedpixie]

As the scapegoated empath, I have fallen into this exact trap. Even after endless research on narcissism. I see so many have just given up on finding a healthy relationship, but I'm not giving up. Not because I'm lonely, or desperate, or looking to repair childhood trauma, but because I am not going to allow past abuse to ruin my future. I have much love to give, and I will never give up seeking what I deserve: love, joy, laughter, intimacy, everything a healthy relationship will possess.
These mistakes just indicate to me where I need to make changes, meaning there's another lesson I needed to learn. I'm learning, and using it to move forward.
I'm fine living alone, but I refuse to accept it as my cross to bear because I can't "trust myself to make good decisions". Learning from the mistakes, and applying the knowledge while going FORWARD, is my goal.

[FaithfulandTrue]

Wow "preyed upon by your own family members" what a nugget at the end, lambs to the slaughter !

[rayjung]

I am thankful for you. My mother was a violent psycho malignant narcissist. I am the family scapegoat. I was in a relationship with a malignant narcissist for a total of 7.5 years. She is a licensed practicing psychologist. I can’t even begin to describe the bewildering horrific journey through such a destructive house of mirrors!

[cursebreaker]

This is so true, I had 2 narc parents then had 2 kids with a malignant and her behaviour changed after about 4 years when I sold the house I owned and bought a new home with her on the mortgage. She was sleeping with a cocaine dealer. Also referred to psychiatrist for self harming, repeatedly smashing head into doors in front of children. She gave my children the scapegoat and golden child roles and the cycle continues. I had to go through courts to see children and she had drug and alcohol tests, heavy user of both over 6 month period. Social services are a disaster in Uk and described her as a loving caring mother and put many lies in there reports. If it looks like a duck, quacks like a duck it’s a duck. If its a narcissistic lying cheating manipulative self harming sex worker it’s a loving caring mother, apparently. I explained to them what she was a narcissist and showed her evidence. In the report I was criticised for talking about narcissism. Social workers I’ve encountered also highly manipulative. I’ve also had to cut ties with narc family. Smear campaigns on steroids. I had to leave town because extended family also full of narcs. Cousin hung himself because of them. 1 person against 10 plus narcs I didn’t stand a chance. Pure Evil and all a facade. It’s an Evil cult and if you ain’t Evil you’re not getting in, and if you dare pull back the veil and start pointing out their covert abusive tactics, the whole cult are gonna be gunning for you. My narc father would get so angry when I had the terminology for his behaviour and would say listen to him with his big words and my narc mother would say he thinks he knows everything. Family or no family, cull the lot of em.

[lgnyqvist]

I nowadays also understand what my sibling, the family golden child did to me trough my parents. Especially my father. The one he listened to. Its hard to forgive

[JenniferSillanpaa]

You described my first husband to a T. I was 18 years old when I met him and married him 9 months later thinking I had met my Prince Charming. He used to proudly say that he was cocky but I was too young to realize this was not a good thing. We did remain together for 17 years and by the end I was an emotional wreck. He is still a skilled manipulator and has become very successful financially by using this skill set well. Most of my own family still thinks he's wonderful likely because people tend to want to be around wealthy people. I have gone the exact opposite way and tend to be skeptical of people who have a lot of money and prefer to be around the middle class of society. I am now married to a man who could not be more unlike my first husband and we are very happy together with no manipulation and no gas-lighting.