Couples Therapist Shares 8 Red Flags 🚩 in Your Relationship That You're Ignoring

What's Anya Mind, Friends?

In this video, I'll share the top 8 red flags within relationships that I have seen as a couples therapist. Many of these are ignored or explained away even though they are addressable. Remember that it's not always a specific partner, sometimes it's the relationship itself that is dysfunctional even though there are willing and mature partners within it. If you're not paying attention to these signs, it's time to take action and fix things before it becomes too overwhelming. Have you seen any of these?

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Theme Song:

Edited by:
Kenji Nuesca

[mycontrolspodcast]

A breakdown…

1 - You start counting the good days
2 - A sense of walking on egg shells
3 - Other relationships in your life are suffering
4 - Sense of tit for tat
5 - Annoyance and jealousy of other couples
6 - Decrease in confidence
7 - Feeling uncertain about your future
8 - Not having clarity on whether or not you’re exclusive

… def watch for explanations! ❤

[onseonthebeat]

“i challenge you to avoid settling.” she got me with that one 🎯

[ollygaetheirnandez]

I watched just in case anything applied to my relationship but you have definitely confirmed that it's healthy 😁

[Deniicea]

Just broke up with my boyfriend and currently watching videos to confirm I'm not crazy for breaking up because my hurt heart disagrees with my decision.

[macidismuke]

“I challenge you to avoid settling.” MANIFESTING a therapist like you 🙏🏽

[Musicsinger]

An ex of mine liked to start fights because he liked my reaction. So stupid - glad I found my life partner of 10 years who communicates healthily

[terriz.]

I am recently single and watching this video just affirmed that my ex and I made the right decision to end things. One of the biggest red flags was that he didn’t feel comfortable with a title or label after 1 1/2 years. I just took it upon myself to refer to him as my boyfriend when talking to other people about him, because it felt easier than saying “the guy I’m dating”. But then I realized I didn’t feel comfortable referring to him as my boyfriend or partner when I was around him, for fear that it would cause an issue. We were exclusive but never had a title and it did not satisfy me. There are so many things we just have to live and learn from…. Thank you for this video! Would love to see one on relationship GREEN flags too.

It’s been a year since I broke up with my ex and I’m so much happier. He was not affectionate or emotionally mature for the relationship I wanted. He always seemed annoyed/irritated when I would call him just to talk. When I ended things, he was genuinely surprised but I gave him several chances to get it right, but one day I woke up and chose ME. I’ve been in therapy healing my heart so I can one day receive the love I really want and desire. I’ll never settle for crumbs again.

[LuYKay]

After watching this I realized that I may get stressed or anxious whenever my partner hangs out with his friends. I didn’t realize the trouble I might be causing. I’m going to talk to him about it for sure. It’s never been my intention to have a negative effect on his relationships with other people. I want to work on this.

[sarafe]

a huge red flag for me is, when someone rushes into a relationship so quickly, that you dont even have enough time to get to know each other properly. this often resulted (according to my experiences) in him breaking up as fast as he startet it.

[Crynki]

I was definitely in a situationship on and off for a few years and when I started to grow and be more confident in myself I was encouraged to cut it off cold turkey. About a year and a half later, I met my boyfriend and it was the best thing to ever happen to me and taught me what a stable, loving relationship was.

[Self-helper]

Great red flags to look out for. Especially waiting 10 years to get clarity of where you stand with someone. Yeah ain’t nobody got time for that.

[MichelleBanda]

I’m not an expert but one thing for me is constant arguing. Like arguing almost every day. Little disagreements here and there are fine but constant heated arguments to me is not a good sign. 🚩

[CaledonianCloud]

Really love this all being broken down!
I went on a date once with a friend of a friend and during dinner I saw so many red flags, I knew even before our drinks arrived this wasn’t something I wanted. Telling me he preferred red heads (when we met I had red hair but I let it go back to blonde), that he didn’t think girls should wear make up, that by commenting ‘oh, that’s so sweet!’ when he said something about his sister I was ‘talking too much’ - I mentally checked out. He’s married now to a really lovely, meek, (red headed) girl and I fear for her self-image. I just hope they are healthy together and he and I were simply massively incompatible.

[SabrinaRene]

My boyfriend and I have a few of these. 8 years together this year and we finally started therapy together. It’s been even harder since therapy, which my therapist said might happen from bringing issues to the surface. I have hope we can work through them because we love each other and both are trying. But it’s still nice to read comments of people in similar situations

[yhineidy]

Uncertain was definitely a red flag in my last relationship, which caused me to end the relationship. I wasn't sure where our relationship was heading. I wanted marriage, and he claimed he wanted the same thing, but we weren't working together to get to the point. Another red flag was him throwing my ex in my face. I shared with him about my past relationship.

[TheRikkuShak]

When my BF and I got together we were both 21 and still extremely immature and childish. We ticked off many of these red flags (especially walking on egg shells and decline in other relationships). My BF's parents had a nasty divorce and it was very clear how it affected him and his relationships. He used to be very hot headed and controlling, I on the other hand was very insecure and extremly jealous. Seeing this now I can't believe how far we've come. We've both worked towards growing individually and growing as a couple.
However I still sometimes find myself walking on egg shells anticipating that he will get angry about something, and when he stays calm I'm super suspicious (we've been together for 9 years, it's been ages since he calmed as a person). Welp my generalized anxiety definitely isn't helping this one, as I'm generally super sensitive towards even the slightest mood-changes of other people. Nontheless I'm very proud of us and happy we pushed through together.

[oprincesslivie]

I’m not proud but I recognized two of those red flags in ME. I’m glad I watched though so I know what to work on 🥹 my poor boo lol

[literalmentelia]

i will never be tired to say how much i love she is so good!

[domanydavilmar]

Love, love, love this video, Stephanie. One red flag thing I see with my relational clients is the complaint that "I'm in individual therapy or I'm on medication and my partner refuses... while I'm doing work to improve my functioning, my partner isn't doing work on her/him/themself." This is problematic, and I address it this way: Tell me what you believe your partner would be able to do if they were in therapy or taking medication (because this is really what the client is asking to see from their partner). Then, we develop language so the client can ask their partner for what they want, rather than "prescribing" the treatment plan for their partner.