Therapist Shares How to Recover from a Breakup

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00:00 - Welcome!
00:27 - Sponsor
01:35 - Intro
02:33 - Tip 1
04:51 - Tip 2
07:18 - Tip 3
08:58 - Tip 4
09:57 - Tip 5
11:44 - Tip 6
12:32 - Tip 7

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[moodyreviews]

Tips that helped me after my break up:

1. Write and Take time to grieve and be in your feelings. Avoid talking to that person for a month just processing things. But not too long.

Go Do Something New. Even if it takes effort, risk and change. Just Do It.

2. Read break up stories. For some reason, it teaches you that most people suffer this, most people have tips on how to live, and most people learn how to move on.

3. Pray and meditate morning and night. It’s not easy, but it’s fruitful. Say what worries you then say everything that you are grateful for.

4. Get a therapist who’ll listen to you and gives good advice

5. Forgive yourself. Forgive them.
Don’t let your heart be hardened.

Remember, Weeping may endure the for a night, but Joy does come in the morning.

[caylasarah]

What helped me was reminding myself that my life goes beyond a relationship. That I can still be happy with my own company and not have to rely on another person. Putting myself first allowed me to realise what I actually wanted for myself, that goes beyond another person. There’s a beauty in growth.

[yhineidy]

What has helped me through my break up is being patient with myself and giving myself time to heal. I was mad at myself because I expected to be over my ex in certain amount time. I read online that if you dated for a year you should be over your ex in a month or something along those line. Being patient and letting myself cry really help. Deleting all pictures and messages both on my phone and social media also help the process. Have zero contact as well

[archivalsystem]

Just got out of a 12 year relationship, this couldn't have been more timely. Thank you, truly. It's been... hard.

EDIT: So... Just got a notification someone replied to this, and... It's been 8 months since I left this comment. After a lot of work, time & healing, I found love again. Thanks to the people who replied to a random comment from a random nobody, & thank YOU, Steph. This truly did help me process & recover enough to be happy again, even before I found my partner. It was hard, & some nights are still hard. But... I know I'll be okay now. I AM okay now.

[unpocoloco]

You mentioned in the video how taking accountability is important. I agree, but I think I blamed myself for too much of what happened with my ex. What helped me was realizing they were just as much in fault as I was.

[LatinoWebStudio]

What helped was to take a year for myself, no relationships, flings or anything like that.

[staciyates]

First, what an absolutely gorgeous shirt! Secondly, the most helpful thing I did to get over a breakup was cut off all communication with the ex and anyone I was close to through them. I feel like it helped me get through it, remember my beautiful life without them and create more beautiful memories outside of them.

[lmiller]

No to the deleting pictures
. 20 years later it is nice to look back. You may see yourself as beautiful and then wonder what you ever saw in that person. Store them away.

[lovelylauz]

I definitely appreciate this video. I recently ended a 5 year relationship and the ending wasn't well received - at all. It not only strengthened my resolve, but I also got that closure that yup, this isn't going to cycle back. I got my therapist and took accountability for what I could have done better in the relationship and made commitments to work on that while I am currently single and healing. I also made a commitment to who I want to now be outside of that relationship. I am taking more risks and really enjoying life. It does get a little lonesome sometimes, but I never feel as bad on my own as I felt in that relationship.

[GodHelpMe]

1. Grieve.
2. Allow yourself to feel. Don't suppress. Don't repress. FEEL.
3. Love yourself. Honor your feelings.
4. Concentrate and focus on yourself, your boundaries, your health, your wealth, your joy, your life...
5. Forgive yourself. Forgive them. Don't take others' behavior so damn personally.
(They're fucked. They have their own traumas and issues.)

Every family has a person who breaks the chains
of poverty and trauma...

I AM
that person!

The only thing I'm giving up on in my life:
is the need for specific conditions to be met,
in order for me to be RADICALLY HONEST.

RADICAL HONESTY
is my modus operandi.

JOY
IS MY PURPOSE.

YESHUA
IS MY GUIDING LIGHT.

1. Decide who you want to be and BECOME THAT
2. FIRM/CLEAR/DIRECT boundaries. Consequences for those who don't respect them.
3. Cut out ANYTHING and EVERYTHING that doesn't serve your health and your wealth
4. Take action everyday toward your ideal life/reality
5. Gratitude
6. Master your mind/emotions (do not be a slave to these)! YOU ARE THEIR MASTER!
7. Keep your promises. Treat yourself like the Queen that you are.
8. Learn (and ultimately master) new HEALTHY skills
9. UNDERSTAND: not every man is built to see your value. They are not all capable nor able.
10. Be confident and authentic
11. Create peace around you, and within you
12. NEVER EVER accept anything/anyone that disrespects you and your boundaries
13. Be open to correction and growth and evolution
14. Be the woman God wants you to be and has created you to be

A man who loves a woman will not ignore her, ever, period.

So...

If he ignores me

I will step back

and he will lose me.

I don’t play any of these childish abusive controlling mind-games.

I will only be with a man who values and appreciates me,
and treats me as the Queen that I AM.

Because I am a beautiful and kind and sexy and wise and magical woman:
who knows my worth.

Period.

Whenever you are alone, remind yourself
that GOD has sent everyone else away,
so that there is only you
and him...

Do not feel lonely,
the entire universe is inside you.

YOU ARE THE UNIVERSE IN ECSTATIC MOTION, BABY!

Goodbyes are only for those who love with their eyes...
For those who love with their heart and soul
there is no such thing as separation.

You have to keep breaking your own heart until it opens
(It is only then, that GOD can truly totally completely fully enter)!

Our greatest strength lies in the gentleness and tenderness of our heart.
--- Rumi

You are constantly being re-born, re-created, re-generated, every moment.

No belief is contained, held, or stored anywhere.
It might cause a cascade that brings a symptom,
breathing patterns, somewhere in the body,
but the concepts, thoughts, and stories are constantly being re-created.

You are generating it ALL,
and this is unconscious.

You can change
in an instant!!!

Every morning you wake up, your life story is re-constructed.
Do I have to wake up believing reality is
the way I believed it was yesterday?

When breathing is restricted,
get curious about what is holding it back,
when it is open
get curious about why that is...

YOU
are the Artist!

Awareness of something alone
IS enough,
it untangles itself,
the knots let go of you.

Choose Freedom,
take responsibility
for your own suffering.

AFFIRM ♡

- I have extreme supernatural beauty
- I am supernaturally beautiful and gorgeous and sexy
- Every day, I am grateful for my own unique beauty
- I am perfect, and my beauty is incomparable
- My soul shines, reflecting my inner and outer beauty
- I respect my body and cherish it as the embodiment of my unique beauty
- I am bold and beautiful, just as I am
- Every time I smile, I let my beauty shine to the world
- My beauty is not defined by others, but by how I feel about myself
- I honor myself and my body and my life

[youcancallmeMsV]

Maaaannn I watched this one with tears in my eyes, I'm currently in the process of ending an 8 year situationship that we both vested a lot of ourselves into. Thank you so Steph, your gift is amazing and is helping heal the world!

[daphwill]

The most successful method for me after a bad breakup in particular is "outta site, outta mind." Deleting evidence of life or our time together, deleting and then blocking the phone number so I can't find it even if I wanted to. Removing any left over regiments of them in my home or phone << its served me well twice 😘

[Mindsetolympics]

Still healing from a short term relationship almost 4 months ago, but a 10 year battle with codependent, neglectful and abusive dating (my recovery date was May!) <3 Still thinking about him everyday I thought it would be kinda over in my mind by now but I still crave it...=(
Stepping up in my relationship with God. Not dating, and
finding a role in church and being in a support group has helped me a lot! Also a LOT OF WRITING & the bible

[_Jaemoe]

I’ve been single for 5 years and didn’t know I needed this. Thank you! 🙏🏽

[jewelsjewels]

Tip #2 has been the theme of the conversation with myself this year. Stop leaving out the part of the story where I up at! It has been enlightening mentally, emotionally and physically.

[socalledmel]

This video came just in time for me! I’ve been struggling with my breakup and coming to terms with who I was and who my ex was in the relationship AND continuing to coexist due to financial limitations. It has not been easy! Thank you for these tips!

[GodHelpMe]

Narcissists and avoidants are "reframing experts".
They can, in an instant, reframe any situation
to where you are at fault, they are the victims,
and you are falling down in your responsibilities to them and to the relationship.
They are character slayers.
They go right for the jugular.
It is really fascinating to behold,
if you can step out of the way of taking ANY of it personally...

[juliannaokike]

Psalm 23 is a scripture I like to meditate on.

[montanavigil]

Thank you as always for your amazing content Steph ❤️. I’m healing from a break up in which I did not receive any closure or resolve, so I love the idea of writing a letter to them in order to get things off of my chest. Prior to our break up I deleted every photo/video we ever took, our message threads, and threw out any items which may have brought up his memory (which I highly recommend for anyone). I’ve also had 0 contact with him, and as much as I’ve wanted to reach out, I try to remind myself that, that chapter has closed, and that that is okay. I’ve leaned on friends, family, and my therapist for support and slowly his memory has become more and more faint. While I’m still heartbroken, I’m healing. I think allowing myself to feel, process, and cry in the present, will serve me in the long run. I also suggest this for others who may want to distract themselves with new relationships, partying, etc. As hard as it may be to confront and process in the present, it will only serve us in the long run and lead to growth and healing. Best of luck to those struggling, you’re not alone, and you will find healthy love and happiness again.

[onedirectionlover]

Perfect timing! My bf broke up with me three days ago, and this was exactly what I needed (and that too from someone like Steph).