Couples Talk: How to Build Emotional Intimacy in Your Relationship- Tips from a Marriage Therapist

What's Anya Mind, lovers?
One thing that I constantly get asked is, "How can I make my relationship better?" Once we dig more into it, it boils down to closeness and connection. In today's video, I share my tips on how to create emotional intimacy with your partner! This video is geared toward my viewer. Let's see how your small changes can impact your relationship. Comment down below if you've ever experienced issues with any of these aspects of emotional intimacy.

Links and Info//

The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman: "There are five love languages: Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, and Physical Touch. Each one is important and expresses love in its own way. Learning your partner's and your own primary love language will help create a stronger bond in your relationship." DISCLAIMER: While I have read the book, I advocate for the basic concept of love languages and do not necessarily agree with all perspectives shared in the book.

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GEAR//
Lighting: natural light

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In-Video Music:
Prod. Mari Beats

[chickennugget]

14:28 for anyone who is going back to do the check in quiz

[faithaffirmationswithmiah]

1. Validate their opinion
2. Laugh at their jokes
3. Compliment your partner
4. Be open to receiving compliments
5. Encourage your partner
6. Challenge your partner kindly
7. Love them in their love language
8. Share your secrets and insecurities
9. Acknowledge and explore frustrations as they come up
10. Externalize problems as seperate from your partner and relationship
11. Express appreciation often

[skinscribe]

I’m in my first relationship after growing up in a toxic household, this advice is sooo helpful and relaxing

[lo]

I love this! My boyfriend and I watched this together. We were able to confirm that we are on the right track for growing as a couple but also helped us in wanting to continue to be better for each other. Thank you for sharing!

[zendayasfruityfrenchfry]

Came from GQ. I’m aromantic so no relationships for me but I’m going to watch this Incase any of my family or friends need help and plus I like your aura...

[sharonlewis]

There is no doubt that your counseling is your God-given calling. Thank you for sharing your wisdom, knowledge and insights with us all.

[nicole]

Not married. Not in a relationship. But hope to be soon. This is incredibly helpful. Thank you

[survivingmotherhood]

I absolutely love this and am so glad to have found you !! I’m 34 and am in my second relationship ever. The first was very toxic and ended in divorce. I want to unlearn all the bad habits I have formed and hope that we can create a beautiful healthy family together.

[john-paulmathieu]

I've been married for 4 years now and I have Asperger's and I was a bit frustrated because we had gone a few weeks without sex and more and more she would push it off till the weekend and when the weekend comes, she says she is not in the mood. She finally told me, "I really love you, but I don't feel emotionally connected to you and I can't get myself to want to have sex." I had no idea and to be honest, I don't even know what it means to feel emotionally connected because there are a lot of emotions I don't feel. As a result, I am currently in the process of learning how to make her feel validated and emotionally connected - I'm definitely going to take these tips and use them; and to be honest, they really do make sense and it makes sense as to why she isn't feeling connected. She knows that I have Asperger's and knows that I lack some of the same things as her brain, but if at the very least I can make her feel happy, validated, and connected to me - I'm willing to put in the effort so she feels loved again!

[cbot]

I'm single but I did the quiz on my relationship w myself. It still works, really cool when you ask yourself those questions to how you treat you.

[incredibledorster]

Yeees relationship Queen!! Just saw your "Therapist breaks down couples fighting" video on GQ and you were spot on! You go girl!!! ;)

[Ed-vilj]

Married over 25 years. I started working with an individual counselor to improve my listening and communication skills. This led to my asking questions and learning more about my wife's toxic upbringing can I have understood in 25 years

[jazmincrumley]

This was GREAT, very necessary and very on time! Success in these areas really takes a lot of humility, selflessness and changing your perspective! THANK YOU STEPH ANYA!!!

[catherinem]

Steph, you did well presenting this. After my husband died 2 yrs ago (I am 76)....I met a widower (78). We are in a relationship! I needed this information in order to build emotional intimacy and just have some ideas how to better express myself to him. Thank you for this very good talk you shared 😊

[YemiAyodeji]

These are great tips especially for people who struggle to let out their emotions. I personally struggled to let people in and it affected my relationships. I'm learning to understand my emotions and also share it with others. Great video as always🥰👍

[janelouisewar]

Loved “I don’t see myself that way, but I appreciate that you do.” I’ve been feeling very overwhelmed with receiving the validation of my dreams in many ways.

[TonettaClay]

Great video. I'm a Relationship Coach and these are also some of the things I talk about in my group. I appreciate the breakdowns of your tips. Keep moving forward. Much success ❤️

[brentonm.newbon]

10. Externalize problems as separate from your partner and relationship 💯

[DrAdrienneCSmith]

This has been so insightful. I really need to work on my emotional intimacy bc I thought I had it all together and turns out I need some work. Thank you for these wonderful videos.

[NDObeats]

The best part of my day is when a new Steph Anya video drops!