When A Narcissist Shifts From Promising To Devastating

It's quite devastating when a person seems to be a promising, positive influence, only to reveal strongly narcissistic tendencies. Not only do you have to manage the emotional fallout, but other damaging consequences come into play as well. Dr. Les Carter explains how this happens and offers hope as you move beyond.

📣 Dr. Carter's new course, Anger Games, is now available! 📣

Dr. Les Carter is a best selling author and therapist who has semi-retired to Waco, TX. For 40+ years he maintained a counseling practice in Dallas, conducting more than 65,000 therapy sessions and many workshops and seminars. He specializes in anger management and narcissistic personality disorder. Since creating his YouTube channel, his videos have received more than 115 million views.

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Dr. Carter has three other courses that you may find to be useful:

[patriciaguerrero]

They pull your feet out from under you, kick you when you are down then blame and show contempt for you as you lay there.

[cyndim]

When you need them the most they are nowhere to be found. Narcissist will always find a way when they need you.

[kdevinturner]

Never a definitive or defining moment. Changes every cycle. Can't count on anything from them. When you are happy, they want you to be sad.

[fred.k]

Narcissist are jealous and envious of you all the time, nonstop, is their potential energy, envy is their potential negative energy.

[aaronkwolfe]

I can’t think of anything more promising than marrying a mate you loved & trusted. One who complemented my weaknesses with their strength. One who vowed to make it work. One who created life with me and raised them together. Then came the devastation of reality when I became hated and worthless and alone. But those things brought me my freedom.

[Davinia]

Best thing to do is remove yourself completely don’t rely on them or tell them anything. Stop
All communication. They aren’t reliable.

[carparthero]

people who haven’t been in a narcissistic relationship have absolutely no idea. the most common response that i’ve gotten is “he can’t be that bad because he’s always nice to me”. if you reverse engineer that response, it actually makes sense.

narcissists will cultivate and maintain a sparkling public image, so that next to nobody will believe you when you say you have been abused behind closed doors.

cheers from southern ontario, canada 🍁

[fred.k]

Narcissists will trick you to get your guard down through pretending having fun and they will get you in the middle of that arena while your guard is down.
Don’t let your guard down specially in the fun times.

[BaraSchmidt]

Performative. Sometimes positive, sometimes negative in tone, but ALWAYS an act. That is a narc-in-a-nutshell! Stay Healthy!

[prueaddy-zr]

Today I wouldn’t be shocked. A therapist of over 30 years myself, I recently partnered with a covert narcissist, 60 people wishing him a happy birthday on Facebook on and on a great guy. No. He was not only a deceptive menacing covert phony, he was violent and struck me during a heated moment; then blamed me for being upset. My core shaken, the deep healing from being raised with 2 narcissistic parents has taken me deeper into how I’m loyal and trauma bonded, a combo ripe for parasitic people. I’m changing! Thank you Dr C. Happiness is healing and pain filled until it’s not.

[MiaK]

Wasted three years on one. And always the bread crumbing, the ups and downs, the silent treatments, the dismissiveness and disdain only to then be followed with temporary kindness when I pulled back
At some point you wake up and you realise that you could spend the rest of your life like this or - you can walk away.
All of a sudden the pain and heart- and headache of dissolving the trauma bond no longer becomes too much to bear because the longing to get your old self back becomes stronger and louder by the day.
That’s what happened with me.

[MarlanWarren]

This information should be on billboards.

[everymomentisagift]

Its intersting how when you become sick, its like they never existed. They just ignore us and complain that we are playing a victim role and say their lives are much more difficult. Thus we are winers or even lying about our illness.

[istateyourname]

You see the tide turn toward a preponderance of devaluation & deceit. The recipient is then awash with confusion, sadness and self doubt. We are all blessed to have Doc (& Gus) be a source of kindness, education and support in the healing journey.💙

[Jessica-rjzg]

So many times the narcissist in my life appeared as if they take accountability and will “do better” but over time their actions spoke louder than cheap words. I was doing everything I could to make the relationship work because I did not want to lose someone that I thought was my best friend. But I had to come to terms with it all at some point and accept that this person was not who I thought they were.

[kittensugars]

More family court judges need to educate themselves on narcissism. It's the reason for a lot of divorces.

[amandaliverpool]

It's hard NOT to be devastated whatever the situation you find yourself in. When you think things are going reasonably well with a friend, relative associate, or loved one. They pick a moment to pull the rug from right under your feet so that you fall flat on your face. That hurts. By knocking you off balance, it shows how unbalanced THEY are!!! We can't avoid ALL rugs, but we DO learn to tread more carefully!!!

[elizabethbettencourt]

ALL fool's gold! Well said. Thank you! Image crafter

[rossanderson]

There is no room for growth which leaves a painful regret with all the losses along the way in which you know how to solve problems but they don’t care because they’ve established the unhealthy stasis quo.

[fred.k]

Dr.C one of your strongest advise I noticed throughout your video is our best defence and winning is not to go into narcissist space and not to play their game, and I agree with that and time and again has proved to be a potent tool against narcissist.