Narcissists Favorite Lie: 'I'm trying to be better'

Narcissistic abuse is an undeniable crisis. Discover Healing, Empowerment, and Authentic Living...

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The Royal We has helped Millions to escape the grip of narcissistic abuse. Here’s a deeper look into what narcissistic abuse looks like and steps to heal from it:

Narcissistic abuse looks like:

Lack of Empathy: Narcissists often show little to no empathy for others, making it easy for them to manipulate and exploit. Narcissists use various tactics such as gaslighting, love bombing, and devaluation to control and dominate their victims.

Common Tactics Used in Narcissistic Abuse:

Gaslighting: Making the victim doubt their own reality and sanity.
Love Bombing: Showering the victim with excessive attention and affection to gain control.

Devaluation: Undermining the victim’s self-worth through criticism, belittling, and emotional neglect.

Isolation: Cutting the victim off from their support systems to increase dependency on the abuser.

Triangulation: Using others to create jealousy or competition, keeping the victim feeling insecure.
Healing from Narcissistic Abuse

How to begin healing from narcissistic abuse:
Understand that you have been enduring narcissistic abuse. This awareness is the first step toward healing.

Get Help:

Establish No Contact or Low Contact:

Limit or completely cut off communication with the narcissistic abuser. This helps you gain emotional distance and begin your healing journey.
Rebuild Your Self-Esteem:

Engage in activities that boost your confidence and self-worth. Surround yourself with supportive, positive people who value and respect you.
Educate Yourself:

Learn about narcissistic abuse and its effects. Knowledge is empowering and can help you recognize patterns and avoid future toxic relationships.
Practice Self-Care:

Prioritize your physical, emotional, and mental well-being. Regular exercise, a healthy diet, adequate sleep, and mindfulness practices can all contribute to your recovery.
Set Boundaries:

Develop and maintain healthy boundaries in all your relationships.

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[divinelightlounge]

🍯True! They act like they are doing a BIG favor with their version of "trying". 🐝

[CharmieSweets]

"Develop the mindset that a relationship is either good or it isn't. There is no in between. There is no try. It's either good or it's not."

So good. Thank you.

[overseaoversea]

their needs are NOW, and your needs as always, are later, then a bit more later, then never

[laurisullivan]

I needed to hear this. I did go back to the narcissist. All based on changing behavior.

[ggmazin]

The "I'm trying " usually comes after "I'm only human"

[sv-yhmq]

One day, there was a new sensei in martial arts school- and I remember him walking around the student line, and he sort of whispered, sternly-
"Don't think about it- Just Do It!" when we were doing kicks. And I Did it... It was a don't try- just Do it moment, that worked for me with other things in life, also. Weird story, yet maybe someone needs to read it.

[SaraLeee]

I always tell my narc "there has to be action behind the words "I'm trying" They LOVE that their phrase!

[GoFishOffice]

Very well said my friend. After the abuse I went thru for almost 20 years I only believe it when I see it in ACTION. Words are cheap...

[Julie-bjjn]

"People who like me, are people who are confident in themselves." All of this resonates.

[purely]

O.K! “Nor should you want to be with someone that has to try to treat you good.. while standing in toxicity. Are you really that difficult to like?” 😳

[tuulistewart]

UR good!!! I came here for narcs, subscribed for learning HOW ya do it. Good job, pal!!!

[heidij]

"Im working on it"
"Im going to make it right"
"I AM nice to you"

12 years & no change

[CelticGoddess-cz]

To my fav Utuber Kevin, u have taught me the most on this crazy journey and I have also shared w so many ppl ur videos and I just wanted to say Aloha from Maui and much love and respect to u and all u have done for me and everyone else! Many blessings to u! 🤙🏼🌺💯🙏

[Emily-cgl]

My husband tells me "I'm trying" constantly as if I am really going to believe him. What frustrates me more than hearing "I'm trying" is when he gets mad at me for saying to him "you don't get to tell me you're trying when you haven't put forth any effort to show me you want to do better."

[amys]

Ouch! Needed to hear this. Thank you Kevin.

[SM-qczx]

I have an older brother who lived in the same exact upbringing as I did. This snake is 55 years old and still thinks he can use the past to manipulate and snivel and parasite on people while he does the bare minimum in all things. Bare minimum is an understatement. He has gone through his whole life playing the victim while he leaves a path of chaos and destruction everywhere he's been. When you confront him about anything his go to reply is "I'm TRYING!" Then when the parasitic host tells him to go get bent here comes the lies and projection. Idk if he's mentally ill or just evil. All I know is that I won't play the game anymore.

[jennyb]

This is so powerful and moved me to tears. Thank you for your wisdom ❤

[ErinP]

They are so infuriating
Mine goes to a (terrible) therapist and thinks he’s getting better. He’s just paying someone to listen to him vent. Nothing has changed. Been hearing the same stories for 24 years!! Ugh. I can’t wait to be able to get out

[JoePAcalaughs]

"I'll work on that"
"It takes time"
😂

[esthermagness]

I totally agree with you Kevin i got out of my marriage 9 months ago and just bc i would be nice he thought i wanted to stay in the marriage i told him i don't want a reconciliation and finally i had to block his phone number and the divorce will be i n November. I'm so thankful i got away from him and I don't regret my decision. The marriage didn't last long at all i knew something wasn't right i started feeling unsafe around him .