Example College Essay Intro #shorts

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[SparksXtra]

That was a great intro! Due to how you worded it.

[secret..m]

The essay felt really warm especially with the mundane task of throwing out the garbage

[rattina]

what about the "most teens" thing? in your other video you said not to put it

[jasonjohnsonhonorsociety]

I feel like using the phrase “most teens” contradicts your advice to not compare yourself to others.

[syonic]

This was a roller coaster of emotions.

[TanishqSharma-gr]

lol this genuinely made me laugh for some reason

[janemeier]

Thats not an essay.. Thats a book. Too many feelings for an essay

[Abby_liko]

I wasn't expecting it to be that great because of the topic 😂

[aatiftazwar]

you just said not to compare yourself to others in another video?

[uchithasiva]

Wait in a video earlier you said not to mention unlike most people and those kind of thinga

[AlexPhelpsful]

This is a great example of convoluted language. Very try-hard. Each phrase is thesaurused to death. Solace? Lug? Didn't instill connection with the context because it draws attention to the style.

[K.dotfan]

Ain’t no way it takes 2 minutes to walk from your house to the curb

[Maxime_H]

"Most teens". You're comparing to other people/students

[battlepans]

I thought we werent supposed to use stuff like ‘unlike others ’ stuff in our college essays?

[mEtil]

If I was a jury (which I am not so I might say some bs) I would hate this dramatic overstating... It just sounds like you were trying to dazzle the reader by overtuning and making your intro overly melodramatic. But a lot of weird stuff is common so yea

[grahamshabino]

It doesn’t work. Starting with a bold statement then continuing with most kids don’t do this, but I do is just super cliche. It just sounds stupid.

[elsharkogaming]

Shouldn’t you not compare yourself with others

[dakshhcr]

Such a great vid with just 9 comments? let's change that.

[orange_turtle]

DOUBLE SPACE IT MY OCD ASS BRAIN CANNOT COMPREHEND THE CLUTTER

[Lester_da_Molester]

Why look at essay tutorials when u got chatgpt