The Best Way to Start & End a College Essay in 2024! | Tips for Common App and Supplementals

Every year, two of the biggest issues I see in student essays are weak hooks and poor conclusions. What really breaks my heart is not just the fact that these two issues are so prevalent - more than half of the essays we read and edited had these problems - it’s also the fact that when the hook or conclusion is done poorly… it’s done really, really poorly. Like will-kill-your-chances-at-getting-admitted poorly. 

That’s the bad news. The good news is that bad hooks and bad endings are actually pretty easy to fix!

Time Stamps
0:00 Intro
1:00 Hooks
4:36 Conclusions

#collegeadmissions #ivyleague #yale #yaleuniversity

ABOUT US
Hi! We're Kevin and Jeffrey, two Yalies who want to help you get into your dream school!

About Kevin Zhen: Exeter '16, Yale '20 (East Asian Studies)
Since 2016, Kevin has personally helped more than 30+ students gain acceptances into every Ivy League University, as well as top tech schools such as Stanford and Georgia Tech. He also loves teaching creative nonfiction, flash fiction and poetry. In total, his students have won more than 75+ Scholastic Writing awards.

About Jeffrey Yu: Yale '23 (Computer Science and East Asian Studies)
Jeff is a senior at Yale double majoring in Computer Science and East Asian Studies with a concentration on China. His college admissions essay was featured in the New York Times, and he specializes in essay writing, college admissions strategy, and life coaching. He has served as a Student Ambassador to the Yale Admissions Office, written extensively about college admissions on Quora and has taught courses on motivation, passion, and leadership while sponsored by the US Embassy in Tokyo.

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[elevatedschool]

Since 2022, we’ve edited more than 3300 college essays and helped hundreds of seniors from around the world gain more than 600+ acceptances to top 20 schools. If you’d like your essay professionally edited, we’d be honored to help!
Visit:

[toastedbleucheese]

You are the *very first* person I have ever seen—online or in person—who has used more than 10 hand gestures that were all different, all appropriately used, and very helpful in visualizing your points. It is also visually entertaining in keeping people interested in giving you full attention. thank you so much for being the one person I’ve always wanted to be.

[melanieavila]

5 Tips to Remember (Rising Scholar, MA)

1) Essay hooks are imperative because they must obtain the attention of your college admission officers (5-6 minutes on the essay)

2) Begin your essay with a conflict (Make it original, real stakes, evoke sensory details) 

3) Indirectly mention what you can bring to college - contribution to campus

4)Connect personal values to strengths that you can 'bring to the table'

5)OR begin your essay with a mystery hook- an unusual event that leaves the reader asking why?

[AshleyChing-co]

Character vs self - Change to ideology
Character vs character - conflict, idea debate
Character vs environment - Social, economic, etc

[Naknave]

Your hand gestures are a godsend for adhd viewers like me, this is the only college essay video my brain could latch to

[andrewjk_]

The advice, especially on conclusions, really helped!

[writewellbrooklyn]

As a writing coach myself, LOVE the funny + authentic approach here & agree with this great advice! I'll add that since aiming for a great hook/conclusion can crank up the pressure, sometimes even before the students begin, I love to encourage students START by, well, just writing badly—with no hook at all! (I use lots of tricks for this, from "mini-prompts" to a "messy messy first draft..."). Then—and this is key!—through REVISION, students can find the really great hook in their writing that will draw readers in, and create that powerhouse conclusion....✏💪

Thanks for this fantastic vid! 

Ashleigh (Write Well Brooklyn)

[elevatedschool]

Hi friends!! For the next month (until 11/1/23), we’ll be selecting 3 of the commenters on THIS video for a FREE essay review! To qualify, all you have to do is like and reply to this comment with something you learned from this video :) FYI normally, we charge $225 for a professional common app review with feedback from two of our ElevatEd consultants!

[forthemhobbies]

thank you so much for this! your style of delivering message and those little animatic movements you make are so interesting, I keep my focus all the time while watching your video! and those are really great tips, I plan to alter it to my own versions when i write my essay. Please pray for me so I am able to go to my dream country!

[kiroao]

My common app essay about growth and development achieved through a particular experience hasn’t been very productive to say the least. Can’t really tie down any incident from my life where my character really stood out, what to do when you have a very boring life and still wanna get into a good uni -.-
Your video was really helpful, hope i’ll come up with something unique!

[bruhnish]

i love how you use hand gestures to keep viewers engaged. this was probably the most useful video I have watched to date. i will for sure be watching more videos from your channel. and btw the conclusion you said was ABSOLUTELY AMAZING

[systemloading]

You don't understand how helpful you are, your advice is much appreciated!!!

[ngwuemeka]

This advice on conclusions really helped . Been working on my conclusion for over 4 months now 😢

[mxvortex]

You're truly a masterclass in retaining attention. I don't know how you managed to make such unique hand gestures that still look natural and authentic.

[kristenyang._.]

This video is so well written and organized! Well done and thank you for the practical/constructive advice!

[evolutionarydays]

Thank you so much for the helpful advice! I was a little uncertain about my essay's flaws, but you really helped me strengthen my conclusion and introduction. Thanks!

[ladygamer]

5:30 is a perfect example for conclusion !!

[orlehmann-]

Hi Kevin!! I'm an international student and I've been struggling to put together my Common App essay, but your videos are SO helpful!. This particular video really helped me understand the problem I had with the eureka problem and the problem-solution ratio. Your advice on how to end the essay was really helpful as well and I will definitely implant it in my essay. I would love to hear your input and take on my essay! I'm pretty proud of how it turned out but given the fact I have no one to help me with my application (it's not very common to apply to US universities where I live), it would be extremely helpful if you could take a look at my essay

[elevatedschool]

From now until August 2024, I (Kevin) will offering doing FREE intro calls with students (and parents!)
Thank you watching our videos! Your support seriously means the world to us!!

[sugerio]

I would love to recieve a Common App essay review! Your videos have been extremely helpful so far!