9 Signs of Narcissistic Rage | Reactive & Instrumental Anger

This video answers the question: What are the characteristics of narcissistic rage? How can we differentiate narcissistic rage from regular rage? Narcissistic rage is an intense anger observed in some with extreme narcissistic characteristics. It has both reactive and instrumental components. It also has a relationship with grandiose and vulnerable narcissism, and demonstrates the significance of the fluctuation we see in narcissists between grandiose and vulnerable states.

Narcissism:

There are two types of narcissism: With grandiose narcissism we see characteristics like being extroverted, socially bold, self-confident, having a superficial charm, being resistant to criticism, and being callous and unemotional. Vulnerable narcissism is characterized by shame, anger, aggression, hypersensitivity, a tendency to be introverted, defensive, avoidant, anxious, depressed, socially awkward, and shy.

Support Dr. Grande on Patreon:

[warbledurbler]

My Mother once furiously slapped me in the face for questioning her. I raised my arm to block the next hit to which she responded "How dare you raise your hand against your own Mother!" as though defending myself meant attacking her. From narcissistic rage to being the vulnerable victim in a split second!

[evelina]

“A narcissist paints a picture of themselves as being the victim or innocent in all aspects. They will be offended by the truth. But what is done in the dark will come to light. Time has a way of showing people’s true colors.”
— Karla Grimes

[debbiesmith]

The narcissist who just discarded me could not be disagreed with or questioned without flying into a rage just like a three year old. I've never seen anything like this before except in a two or three year old.

[lulabellegnostic]

Narcissists have a ‘criticism radar’ they are continually scanning every situation to assess for criticism or slight.

[narcbegone]

Oh nooo. Rage doesn't happen Even if criticism is fair. It happens ESPECIALLY if criticism is fair...

[kungfujoe]

rage is actualy the narc knowing he's lying to him/herself

[rebekahtinker]

'Controlled by anger' my whole childhood was about making sure we didn't upset my father. It wasn't just about being hit or slapped (although that is part of it). On some level as a child his disproportionate anger to events, these rages my father would fly into were truly frightening and weird to me.

I remember working it out to myself at 5 or 6 that I needed to avoid my dad when his eyes looked scary and his hair was messy (he would run his fingers through his hair when he was angry). You do end up being crippled by fear of upsetting someone.

[kellyyork]

Just experienced this from a narcissistic acquaintance who accidentally spilled his drink all over the table, and himself, at a restaurant. He wanted me to drive him home quickly to change; however there was a bad accident and lots of traffic and rerouting of vehicles toward the interstate. He totally lost it and very suddenly started screaming at me in the car, attacking me personally, and my driving skills. And I had just paid for his dinner. The only thing that got him to calm down was I threatened to pull over, to call the police and to leave without him in the car. He texted me later that night after I made it safely home, and said he was so sorry we had a bad evening...and had he known “that I was that upset” he would never have gone out with me..., then wished me a good weekend. So he actually flipped his bad behavior into me? Unbelievable. I’ve cut off all contact with him. Can you see why no contact is so important? Not only will a narcissist damage you emotionally, they can get you killed. His behavior was actually quite dangerous in the bad traffic situation we were in and all he could think about was himsel

[sandrahealy]

From my experiences with them, I sum them up as very sensitive, insecure, immature bullies.

[breannaboswell]

Ive literally been assualted to where my head was slammed on the ground and he looked in my face afterwards and told me “I never did that to you, your lying. You need to get mental help.” Covert Narcissistic personality are one of the evils of the world.

[chamomiletea]

I was the victim of severe rage when the narc was afraid of a stressful upcoming event which might test him in some way or also if he experienced a loss of some kind. Also, the rage would happen if I disobeyed him over something which to me was silly-like buying pickles or talking to a neighbor. The day after the rage he would seem more relaxed and acted as if it never happened. Never any apologies and it would be very dangerous to bring it up.

[kevinhornbuckle]

You can see the rage in their eyes before they say or do anything. They look like a psychopath who is about to kill you. The look in the narcissist's eyes frightens you deeply because it unmistakably shows their soul to be vacant.

[lydiam]

I ALWAYS thought: his anger, rage is so disproportionate to the event! I could never understand why? I’m 8 months divorced from a true narcissist. I’m so glad I left crazy town. He was a overt and covert narcissist

[sarahmawed]

I know we’re not supposed to be diagnosing people around us, but it’s fascinating how we start recognizing these traits and linking patterns of behavior. Great video !

[gailcrowe]

I’ve been on the receiving end of a narcissistic rage and it’s really horrible. They shout and rant and they don’t
let you speak and they jab their fingers at you. They don’t care if it causes upset in the family, they can’t
control themselves. I shocked me and made me feel quite unwell for a while.

[MultiTetley]

I’ve seen that rage a number of times. One time he threw a framed photo at me the glass shattered and cut my hand badly, blood everywhere he just looked at me with that cold stare and walked away. Road rage is another problem with these narcs.

[jeanetteyork]

The spectacle of this type of rage is never forgotten. It's an amazing display. It's also scary because it's so irrational and no argument no matter how well meant will penetrate it. It's terrifying....for nothing. It's just horrendous, open faced screaming rage. I've seen it once and hope never to see such a thing again.

Thank you for explaining the steps of this rage, and their significance. 🌱

[bonniewinfield]

It is hard to believe that you did not know my former husband personally. After 43 years of marriage, my husband died, and now, after 6 years of widowhood, I am just realizing the damage I incurred during our marriage. The narcissistic abuse was fierce nd continuous, both overt and covert, and I will probably always have scars, but mercifully have found a therapist wise and understanding. Wish I had met you on YouTube decades ago. These short segments are informative as well as reassuring. Your direct and sincere approach is most appreciated. Thank you.

[vb]

You have saved me so much $ in therapy! Thank you Dr. Grande

[somewhereinthemidwest]

You describe my ex husband to a T. I left after 26 yrs, 17 years ago. I saw all of this rage, I experienced his rage but I didn’t know or identify him as a narcissist. I just thought he was a jerk and hated me and most other people as well. Thank you for your wonderful knowledge.