How She Learned Radical Acceptance | MARSHA LINEHAN

Marsha Linehan describes her experience at the Buddhist monastery where she found what she (and her clients) needed: radical acceptance. It is a major part of DBT, the therapy she developed for BPD.

Marsha Linehan, creator of the highly-regarded Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), discusses Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) from the viewpoint of a clinician / researcher of the highest caliber.

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[sleepingArisu]

'You have to radically accept that you want what you don't have and it's not a catastrophy'
And at this moment, tears started to roll down my face

[ThatBorderlineGuy]

This woman is a legit genius and I think posterity will put her in the pantheon of psychiatry and psychology along with Freud and Jung. DBT and Buddhist psychology saved my life.

[ngoma]

“Wanting something you can’t have and it’s not a catastrophe “ .... simple and yet not easy

[irawadiantika]

It's "you can't change anything if you don't accept it because if you don't accept it, you try to change something else that you think is reality" for me.

[moonlookingforthesun]

Radical acceptance has saved my life. I return here when I struggle. ❤

[NintCondition]

I am alive today because of Radical Acceptance. I am free forever because I continually practice Radical Acceptance. This concept, which I use daily has changed my life for the better. I may have pain but I don't suffer.

[mateteglas]

I love her. SHe is so understanding of BPD there could not be any better person who does the therapy for bpd clients. I wish there was a Marsha Linehan for every country.

[geoxoxo]

DBT changed my life, and so so many others. She’s so incredibly brave and smart, I think she might be my favourite person alive. To know that the person who came up with your treatment also suffered with what you suffered with makes it a lot easier to take it seriously too, even though learning some parts feels silly, but she probably thought that at some point too.

Radical acceptance is one of the first things we learned in group, and it genuinely does change you by providing a new platform to see yourself and the world, and it’s a skill you learn to almost have always on the go. A lot of ppl with bpd struggle with the idea that nothing matters, while experiencing the feeling of everything mattering so deeply, and getting the hang of it makes life so much easier to deal with. It’s like I have a filing cabinet in my brain now, organising what matters and doesn’t (eg being anxious someone I don’t see often I suspect doesn’t like me), what matters right now and what doesn’t (eg feeling horrible guilt about how you treated someone, but saving that feeling to when you see them again to express apologies) and what can change and what can’t (eg feeling anxiety about relapse, but understanding that that’s something that can happen, but is something I have power to prevent).

Radical acceptance and checking the facts skills on their own can make such a massive difference to someone’s life. I still struggle a lot with anxiety, especially social, every day. But now it’s almost like I can say ‘we’ll put a pin in that thought and come back to it when it’s appropriate/ as there’s nothing I can do about that right now. for now I want to do this’. And I can recognise much better when I’m having a rational thought vs irrational ones.

[jessicamerced]

Radical acceptance is something I never heard of till recently. I was diagnosed with bpd 7 years ago at 23 years old and over the years I would tell myself “if I can just accept this one truth (whether a delusion or not) then I can live functionally and maybe be happy”.. now that I’ve learned to mostly accept many of the “what if’s” that pop up in my head, I am much happier ❤

[erin]

Grateful for Marsha. BPD was a death sentence before DBT, in the eyes of mental health practitioners anyway. I had so many who would not even entertain the diagnosis, let alone treat me once they agreed I had it. And I wasn’t doing any borderline thing to them. Lol. I had perfectly good boundaries with them. But there was at least one therapist who agreed I had it and then said, “Yeah I can’t help you” and discharged me. I think she’s retired now. A lot of the therapists with the bias against BPD are retiring now which is good. Newly diagnosed people will be able to get help I couldn’t back then.

[mysticpagan]

I went to a impatient youth behavioral rehab for Native American teens. We learned all about DBT and this woman. So grateful for her

[dmbmomma]

The Pandemic (working from home, facing clients’ grief almost daily, distance from family) invited me to accept my past, generational trauma, and the present. I wasn’t lonely at all, and I allowed the practice to slow down. I accept that I want to watch the sun rise & drink coffee daily rather than rush to an office. So I modified my approach to scheduling to give me daily solitude.

[timheetkamp]

I love her straightforward honesty. Her work has helped saved many lives and helped people build more fulfilling lives.

[CuriousCatAtHome]

DBT changed my life. It saved my life.

[amygalvin]

I admire her for pioneering DBT . A life saving treatment program that saves lives.

[radicalhonesty]

I don't know how to change my life around...
I watch this video and what arises in me is overwhelm and stress.
my dream life feels 999-trillion universes away from my reality:
- I have minimal work (I live in poverty)
- the place I rent is old and teeny tiny tiny
- I have passions and talents that could make me rich, but...
- I'm single, have been my whole life, I die for true love
- fat and diabetic
- old now, no longer attractive
- no friends
- always a million-trillion stressful things to do...

[meerespflanzen]

After 1.5 years of therapy, I still struggle with radical acceptance. Hearing it from Marsha herself really helped validate the part of me that refuse to accept reality for what it is. I am constantly plagued by racial and gender biases, I think about giving up all the time. Thanks for making the borderline film, and uploading these short videos to YouTube. When I'm in a really dark place and I stumble upon one of your borderline videos, they're like an effective and gentle reminder that I need to practice my dbt skills.

[The.frostedrose]

DBT is more than a therapy, it's a way of life. If your therapist is trained in DBT, they should live it. A portion of their formal education is learning to remove individual bias and embrace people as they are, in this moment. This is radical acceptance.

[trickjump]

"If you don't accept it you'll try to change something else that you think is reality" feels like a darn good reason for radical acceptance. I struggle with radical acceptance because the world seems fucked, and there isn't shit I can do about it that'll bring about much change. So I sometimes lean into the idea of letting the world burn regardless, simply because that's what it's already doing. But that quote I like, simply because I probably don't see the dartboard before throwing the dart, thinking it's elsewhere entirely.

[jpage]

It's really the practice of letting go of having to have what you wanted at any moment and the recognition that you didn't always have to have whatever it is you wanted. Suppressing what you want is NOT the way to go. Radically accept(simply, gently, humbly, lovingly) that you are wanting what you don't have and it's not a catastrophe. Ye shall know the truth and the truth shall make you free