How to Get to the Heart of Resistance with Marsha Linehan

In this video Dr. Marsha Linehan shares her valuable insights on addressing resistance in therapy.

When clients struggle with resistance, Dr. Linehan emphasizes the importance of shifting focus and asking a fundamental question: "Is this really effective?"

Drawing from her extensive experience, Dr. Linehan highlights various strategies to navigate resistance.

She discusses the significance of exploring pros and cons, understanding underlying fears or avoidance, and conducting a clinical assessment to identify the controlling variables that hinder progress.

Dr. Linehan emphasizes the value of guiding clients to give up resistance and explains the necessity of experiencing difficult emotions to move forward.

[meerespflanzen]

That “Climbing out of hell” analogy is excellent

[bertrandirene]

"the fact that it's painful is true, but there is no other way out"
Thank you Marsha for showing us the way out, as painful as it is .

[misscelinateloexplica]

As a BPD diagnosed person, Marsha did sell me the idea of "lets do this, it will hurt but when you finally get to the top of the ladder, the horrible pain finally will end." ❤
Lets focus on effectiveness and wise mind. ❤

[judylee]

Without videos like these on YouTube my therapy would be going nowhere, or at most at a snail's pace. Thank you so much.

[mallory]

She tells her client that they "are like a person in hell.". That would be so much more helpful than 20 years of invalidation from therapists.

[Krinsta]

Resistance so tough. I like the Hell analogy. I use the analogy of cleaning out a cupboard, it gets worse before it gets better. At first you have to take all that stuff out and look at it, which you've been avoiding for years, then we have to decide what your going to keep, what's yours, and what's somebody else's crap, what to throw away what to keep. You are going to feel overwhelmed, there will be tears. Then we have to put what we want back in there, and when it's all done you'll feel heaps better you'll look in that cupboard and feel proud of yourself for doing all that hard work and then you'll want to tackle the rest of that stuff you've been avoiding but this time you'll have experience and you'll be a bit better at it until one day you won't even need me to help you do it anymore.

[gcameron]

Having become the 6th Peer Recovery Supporter certified in my state last year, HONEST EMPATHY has been CRITICAL to my Healing. Having had both Incest & Adult Rape experiences, for instance, I've got credibility when I empathize with survivors in various stages, but felt betrayed when therapists of mine said they " imagined" how I felt. While I wouldn't want my experiences to happen to anyone else, certainly having a clinician with a willingness to own they haven't felt what I have, THEN RESPECTFULLY ASKING what could be done in the therapeutic setting to increase safety WOULD introduce an opportunity to claim a foothold of control. In my case, simply changing my seat to face the room exit and even adding or subtracting lighting made TREMENDOUS difference. Being able to redefine safety as increasingly intimate work us done lessened MY resistance; As I get my Bachelors & LISW, I expect to expand upon this.

[FineFeatheredHomestead]

Validation is the key to selling the acceptance of pain that we don't know how to manage. Loved ones could say this conceptually, but have no idea what horror they were asking me to endure. That sale, even put by a counselor, would be easily rejected out of self preservation (which, despite it all, we think we're pretty good at)...and ridiculed, because there was no way I was going to show them what that hell looked like - the mere thought of enlightening them brought satirical chuckles. Of course they don't know what they are asking! But my counselor validated the hell and the suffering that she could not see in me, showed me various tools to get through hell better, and even showed me an example of journal blackout art that she had found helpful. It was at that moment I realized others knew what this felt like, had found a way through, and knew how important it was for me to get through too. Once I realized she was a peer, I took ownership of my recovery; I knew there was a way, and I would fight through until I found it too.
If selling the idea feels like manipulation, though...not genuine and real understanding, it could backfire.

[c.brownell]

Just listening to this therapist helped me get past a painful experience even though she was not talking to me directly. Thank you. I wish there were more therapists like you. You are real.

[Betternow]

When my Mom was dying and when she died, I turned back to Alcohol after 18 years of sobriety and then that stopped working then I went to a target behavior that literally shut off all emotions and made me loose everything. I climbed out of hell and that ladder was hot let me tell you.

[Tadesan]

My last two therapists only offered the acceptance (mindfulness) part and had no concept of effective change. They wanted me to just get used to being in hell. It was humiliating.

[dianarosefrances]

"When you're going through hell, keep going!"

[MaggsMomo]

Yeah the only way I bought into DBT was after I read Marsha’s memoir. It changed my whole perspective that she had experienced a lot of the struggles that she did and then developed it slowly over time after many years with both personal and academic purpose to teach not only her clients but also herself. Another big reason I love DBT is how logical it is. Once I bought in to the concept that someone actually understood how much I was suffering I stopped some of the destructive behaviors that I had used to try to communicate how bad things were. And then I was like shit these skills can help me to get what I want that’s lit I’m in.

[petet]

I learnt to let go of labelling or judging pain as bad. It's a sensation that just happens and when you let it in it doesn't hurt. You just experience the process occuring, it subsides, then you let it go. Notice it without judgement. Mindfulness in other words. Or mindemptyness as Eckhart Tolle would say.

[kimberknutson]

Excellent. I often say, "The only way out is through." I love the Hell metaphor. Thank you.

[janets]

I have to push away the sadness, otherwise it eats me alive! There ceases to be a "me", there is only a hurricane of sadness and shame taking up the space where I used to be.

[sumari]

I was able to help myself a lot by IFS therapy. And I disagree that resistance comes from avoiding pain. People have trouble showing their not so positive emotions to someone else, because they experienced more pain by doing so in the past. Lots of therapists wind themselves like fish when confronted with the painful or urging emotions of their clients.
The truth slipped off her lips as she said "they have a lot of shame" - yes, they learned to hide this stuff to not be ashamed and blamed any more.

[mauricasalino]

Would you mind uploading the Spanish subtitles if I would send them to you as a .srt? I’m a translator looking to translate as much material from Linehan as possible into Spanish

[kahlodiego]

What's hard is when you're borderline AND you're living in an abusive situation and people don't believe you and you begin to not believe yourself.

[JolieGaronne]

I wish I could have a consultation with Dr. Linehan. So many therapists, yet so little help so far. I AM EXHAUSTED.