why we struggle with relationships (the harsh truth)

as I continue this journey of unlearning societal conditioning, i'm realizing that like with most topics, my views on dating & relationships are a bit different from what i've been taught to believe. i'm beginning to realize that we make dating and relationships less enjoyable by hyperfixating on the future outcome of them. instead of living in the moment, we often hold onto the idea that anything good has to last forever, and cause ourselves more suffering when experiencing romance. in this chit chat, i talk about how i've begun to rewire my brain to rethink love & actually enjoy dating.

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IG - @lynetteadki

~faq~
age: 24
race: black

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[LynetteAdkins]

ignore how long the end is lol i didn't feel like reuploading 😭

[gabb.j]

"relationships don't have to last forever to be successful"
i just love that so much and think so many people need to hear it

[ravenantoinette]

Omg I needed this video honestly. After 6 years of obsessing over finding "true love", I found myself putting others before me all the time. Once I stopped looking for love, I found it within myself. And I came to enjoy the individuals God has placed in my life. The key is to stop being obsessed with finding love.

[unathimdlangu]

"Be less committed to a single person, but be more committed to yourself"

I have the same views .

[dazeyjanye]

It just makes me so sad to think of being with a bunch of people, I just wish there was that one person I can build with and deeply connect with through life. I don’t want to be with all these different people😢 it’s scary to me.

[deniyachibombe]

"People do not have to be in your life forever in order for you to love them." Definitely felt that.

[katyastyles]

this came at such a perfect timing - I`m in the middle of a breakup with a man I love dearly but we just want completely different things in life, so to stay honest with ourselves and do the best for the other person, we decided to go on separate paths - it`s hard now but in long term I know we will both be happier this way

[AW-yhvw]

I agree, it’s important be less attached to one person and to be more committed to yourself. However, we are social beings so it’s in our nature to want connection and to be attached to others. I think it’s up to you to find a fine balance between commitment to yourself and others!

[sydthasquid]

Love is not what you do; love is what you are. It's a basic quality within yourself.

[spaciousbutterfly]

I completely agree that a lot of relationships/friendships can have an expiry date and they are really all about learning more about yourself and how to love yourself and the people around you more (and pinpointing what you want in a person/relationship). I do believe in marriage though as I feel when two people are committed to unconditional love and devotion to one another, if both parties have the capacity for forgiveness, love, accountability and growth, their is exponential growth that you wouldn't be able to experience with someone who your not truly committed or devoted to. I think for some ( not all) relationships, it can be really easy to give up and go your separate ways instead of confronting the problem and taking a hard look at yourself, it's also hard to love someone who isnt making you feel good atm. But having that commitment to someone and saying, 'your worth it' even in the hardest of times I think can be such a beautiful thing - of course this is only realistic/possible for those who aren't in toxic/abusive relationships, of course leave what's not serving you. I would say though, whether or not your into monogamy, the most important thing is getting a clear understanding of what you are looking for in a relationship/person and what your values are so when you meet someone you are not on different pages.

[uci]

i had a really big health scare and i almost called an ambulance and this video made me so calm and i stopped overthinking. i got stressed out because the things society and my parents told me like get a child before you turn 30. now i feel so much better❤ have a nice day everyone!

[trisnickles]

Practicing non attachment is so important in relationships, in my opinion. Coming from someone that is married and has two kids all before turning 23…. I have realized that a lot of what I’ve done relationship wise was based in fear. Now that I’m approaching 26 and really establishing what I truly want I can understand relationships in the same light as you. Cheers to Venus in Aquarius ❤ lol

[stephaniec]

I agreed with the idea that not everything is
meant to last forever, when you really think about it, it only makes sense that our circumstances change as we are constantly changing and evolving. So it’s important we appreciate every moment in the present fully for what it is !

[sierrajoseph]

I can understand this me and my bf use to really worry about us not working out because I got a reading from a spiritual advisor that we aren’t meant to be and we would try to do everything right. However we stopped controlling the thought of it and let it flow and now we are the happiest

[Whatnowmaria]

Wow this video is great. I’m 29 now and I’ve been in a relationship for almost 11 years. For the first time I’m ready to walk away from this connection that isn’t getting better and is coming to an end. We’ve changed so much and it’s been scary to think of being “Alone” or “starting over” or just worrying about if I’m making the “right” choice. I’m trying to learn to trust myself and the unknown. I think i held on to the idea of what we can be and what i NEED us to be rather than what it is and I’m seeing that that’s still okay. <3

[AwakenedSoul]

I agree. Things are more fun when you release fear based attachments and just enjoy each moment fully. I believe things end up working out better that way ✨

[toriambrr]

this was such a hard pill to swallow 😭 but this did encourage me to just look at ppl i’ve loved as people i’ve loved and not put them in a yes or no box. it just happened and there were good moments and there were lessons

[ConTrellTV]

This video is so refreshing! I really wish I could find a community of people who think more like this. I feel like I’m by myself on these ideas sometimes. I’ve felt like this since my last break up and I’ve done a lot of healing and growing into this same understanding.

[justthatpm]

You're so right about having multiple soulmates and multiple loves. It took me a long time to get to that point but it seriously gives me such a different perspective on life, relationships, and letting go.

[yamsssssss]

this was such an expansive perspective of love & dating! i can 100% relate to those who have made their partner part of their own identity - after a few years of being single i’ve come to understand all the love i was lacking in my long term relationship.

now, i find so much love in community, in family, in experiences.

i completely agree with the notion that it’s okay not to take everything so seriously to the point where you need it to last forever ; the purity of the experience is more than enough 💗