Tips for surviving toxic family gatherings

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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.

THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.

[goldngrl]

I left my family members’ house after being yelled at with a raised voice when I calmly and politely expressed a personal preference for my sleeping arrangements. I decided I would be happier in my own home and so I did what was right for me and made the 5 hour drive back home. It felt good to be good to me and to not allow myself to be mistreated in order to protect someone else’s feelings.

[julianaalencar]

My tip is to not showing up for good.
When I was 17 I said to myself: ok, I'll just go to birthday parties and Christmas. But reducing my contact with them to this amount was not enough. On the day before the gathering I used to be so anxious, afraid of the fights I knew were going to happen. Episodes of physical violence from the past hunt me until today.
When I was 20 I said to myself: ok, I'll only go to my grandma's and brother's b-day, because they are the only people I care about and the only people who are not mean, do not engage in fights, do no verbal harm. However the others would always be there doing vile things. We are all family after all and there is no way they would not be invited...

Today I am 26 and I visit my brother and grandma on specific days, when I know no one else will be there. And I celebrate their b-days on the day before, I make foods I know they are going to enjoy and a small cake. I live under great fear and anxiety because of the other relatives. Just seeing them makes my heart stop and I can't breathe.

[felix]

Grateful I no longer feel obligated to participate in a broken family system. Thank you for making these videos and showing us that we aren't alone.

[therenegadepianotechnician]

"God grant me the courage to change the things I can, accept the things I cant and the wisdom to know the difference. "

[kristinak.]

I'm so happy, for the first time, this will be holidays with ZERO toxic people in the house.

[jazmyngonzalez]

I appreciate videos like this when the holidays come around. It reminds me that I am not alone to deal with toxic family members.

[Bornintoclusterb]

What I’m most grateful for is having the realization that the best way to survive toxic family gatherings is to avoid attending them. Thankful for you Dr Ramani for all of the knowledge and wisdom you share with us. ✨

[Bubblies]

I’m grateful for having the willpower to stop communicating with my father despite all the guilt tripping and enabling. I’m grateful for having better understanding of boundaries than I did last year. Thank you Dr. Ramani! ❤️

[MandiMomOfChannel]

I left my narcissistic husband of 17 years permanently yesterday, and I'm so thankful I'll have a peaceful holiday with my kids 💗

[Auroradiluculum]

My parents are deceased now. My husband and almost 18 year old daughter have gone to his parents' for Thanksgiving dinner. Me? I'm home watching Dr. Ramani on YouTube and loving it ❤. And you keep right on going Dr. Ramani!

[NatureGirl]

I’m grateful that I learned that it’s okay to set boundaries. That it’s okay to go no contact. And to continue to not put myself around my toxic, narcissistic step family, that I grew up with. I am grateful that I no longer have to be around them. Especially during the holidays!

[lilylady]

If you get invited to a non toxic/ non family (friends) go there. Go to where there is kindness. Stay away from where you’ll get hurt, even if you have to pick the sad, lonely route. Thanksgivings can be very difficult for some. Do your best and know that by tomorrow it’s another day.

[BigCowProductions]

It is really lonely to not even get invitations from 'family' anymore, where even my Mom doesn't push to care to have me there, but it is worth it to not deal with that fake crap that will just be a fake to real intimacy and camaraderie where it will degrade into their narcissistic patterns again. I am donezo lol.

I am grateful that I don't feel held hostage by having to be around 'family' simply because that is who I was born with. Blood is not thicker than water.

[islandia]

"The time between Halloween and Valentine's Day is like tax season." Totally agree! I've often said if I could I would hibernate from November to the end of February. I am grateful to you and this community too, Dr. Ramani :)

[therenegadepianotechnician]

A narcissist holiday is alot like "Festivous." Traditions include " The pushing of the buttons" " The telling of BS stories for furthering smear campaigns, portraying themselves as heroes or victims, deflecting blame ect. Sadly two nephews died this year. It's all the "ex wifes fault " of course, not the narcissist.

[thevagabondsageinthewoods]

My last family gathering was a wedding back in 2013. The bride had a table up front for all of us “aunties” to sit together. Each one of my sisters paraded past the table refusing to sit with me. They made a huge spectacle of moving furniture around—-at a wedding mind you—so they could clique up in the back of the room. I danced like no one was watching because I knew this would be my LAST time of being humiliated by these flying monkeys. And it was. I’ve been free of them since that day so when my niece celebrates her wedding anniversary, I celebrate my broken chains from that entire toxic clan.

[agriffin]

I'm thankful for my privacy away from controlling, political and YES abusive people. Looking forward to my walk on the bike trail in a woods that I love to frequent. Giving a moment of silence for all those who are going to be abused today because they are, for one reason of another, unable to get out. So glad I have my freedom and so THANKFUL that these videos maintain this freedom (by identifying narcissism and AVOIDING it). Thanks for all you do!

[Sanguine_Arts]

I'm grateful that my siblings finally see my mother for who she is and can protect themselves now.

[rturney]

I am going to dinner 🥘 with my mom. I am reminded of a subtle tip a therapist gave me - instead of sitting straight across from her at the table, sit next to her to void such direct energy. ❤️🙏😘😍🥰🥰🥰

[BigCowProductions]

Pro tip, do what I do and just don't go! :)